Break the Ice
by Emmeri
Summary: Most people are looking for love. And then there are those who plunge into freezing New York water to save some stupid brat trapped under the ice and still don't realize it's right in front of them. (Cross-posted to AO3)
1. Chapter 1

If you're looking for plot twists and beautiful story arcs, this fic is more of a poorly cobbled together series of events that demonstrate the characters themselves and their developments. Constructive criticism is welcome, but, seriously there's about zero plot in this thing. Also, I spent endless hours on the shit cover art so it _is_ mine, however it was inspired heavily by an ereri fanart I found once and haven't been able to track down since; if it looks familiar hit me up so I can give them credit:)

There's two smutty scenes towards the end so keep an eye out:*

Trigger warnings for non-graphic mentions of child abuse and some angst in general

* * *

It was cold as balls and the wind got some vindictive pleasure from attacking him personally.

Wrapping his scarf more tightly around himself and burrowing his nose into it further, he once again cursed Hanji and their wackadoo ideas. Like fresh air would help him curb his cigarette addiction which he'd mostly kicked _anyway_ , or like it would actually help him be less surly.

He wasn't surly to begin with, thank you very much; it wasn't _his_ fault everyone he came in contact with was a fucking idiot.

Despite the cold and despite the biting wind that also decided it'd be just grand to blow snowy particles into his face, it was actually quite peaceful at the park.

No one else but him was stupid enough to be out in this shitty weather, and he'd gone deep enough that even the noise of New York traffic was largely muted; in fact, the only sounds were the rustle of the trees or the occasional squirrel darting up a tree, chattering away (probably bitching about the cold, Levi mused).

He'd found a bench in front of the pond which was somehow just as tranquil frozen over and covered in a thin layer of white than if it had been flowing with a couple of ducks swimming about.

Or it _would_ have been tranquil had the sounds of some moron bumbling through the underbrush then _racing out into the middle of the fucking ice_ not killed the mood. The kid probably wasn't even legal yet, standing there with a red face and large eyes that screamed "Oh shit" just as loud as the sound of the shattering beneath his feet.

Levi had known what was about to happen, was already on his feet and stripping off his scarf and coat by the time the kid suddenly plummeted straight downwards, everything lost beneath the ice and the snow and _aw, fuck, this was going to suck_.

Of course he'd left his phone back at the apartment to spare himself from Hanji's pestering. He knew how to take care of himself all too well so didn't see it as a necessary precaution to save his own skin; what he hadn't thought of was how it might help some random stupid-ass kid because he was used to idiots but this one was a special kind of stupid.

So here he was, running around to the other side where the kid had entered because if the ice had been strong enough to hold him then, it should be strong enough to hold Levi now. And, here he was, crawling on the ice trying to distribute his weight evenly and ignoring the way the once soft looking snow was now rough and chafing, trying to even his breath to reduce exertion for the plunge he was likely about to take.

The kid wasn't anywhere near the hole (now is _not_ the time for "that's what she said" jokes; get your shit together, Levi), but he removed the floating chunks of ice as best as he could to provide an out.

The sun was blocked by clouds and, even though the snow made everything brighter, when it was piled on top of ice it obscured all of the light and made the water pitch black.

Aw, fuck, this was going to _suck_.

Taking a good sized breath, Levi dropped himself down, his skin burning from the frigid water and his eyes stinging as he tried to look for some type of humanoid shape.

So far all he could see was weird plant life and the occasional littered trash because people were _gross_ but then, there he was - a dark mass almost at the bottom of the fucking pond.

He was floating and not flailing, which didn't bode well, but Levi wasted no time pondering the potential for this kid's survival, instead paddled down and looped an arm around his chest, yanked him upward and wished he'd had more time to strip because his clothes were weighing him down and he might be strong but this kid was _heavy_ and his muscles were starting to seize up already and the hole was so far away and oh, god, he wasn't going to make it -

Just then the bundle in his arm started to flop around and he glanced down to see that the kid was staring back at him. Levi jerked his chin upward, got a nod for his trouble, and soon they were both swimming towards the surface, fingers loosely clutching each other because Levi didn't come all this way just for the kid to lose consciousness and die anyway.

By the time they finally broke the water, Levi's lungs were so on fire he wished they would at least warm the rest of him up. Instead, he was numb and just about lifeless except for the incessant chattering of his teeth and rattling of his bones.

"Stay as flat as you can," Levi instructed through the drumming of his pearly whites and for the first time he wished he had dentures if just so he could take them out. (Would gums knocking together like that hurt? Oh great, he was getting delirious.)

"Kick your feet out and try to drag yourself out, not pull up."

The kid nodded, shaking even harder than he was and such a deathly shade of purple that Levi was once again questioning whether or not he would make it. Was coughing out so much water and jostling the pond and ice so much it was a wonder the whole thing didn't break right then and there.

Somehow they both managed to haul themselves out and land on the opposite end of the bank without falling in again, and for the first time ever the snow felt warm compared to that swirling hell hole they had just come out of.

Lying there for several beats panting and trying to make his limbs cooperate, Levi flopped his head to the side.

"You going to live, kid?"

A nod. Or maybe he was just trembling so much it looked like one.

Levi gingerly pushed himself to his feet, tried not to shiver as he had to walk all the way back to the bench _on the other side of the lake_ for his coat and scarf and shoes. Collapsed next to the kid once he'd retrieved them and immediately began stripping him of his coat, earning weak protests.

"Shut the fuck up, you'll catch hypothermia and die in these wet clothes," Levi grumbled, jerking back when a lump under the kid's drenched coat moved.

"Is this some Invasion of the Body Snatchers shit?"

To his surprise (and concern) the kid started wheezing out what could only be laughs.

"'S'why I went in," the kid slurred back, a dopey grin plastering his face.

Levi eyed him dubiously, noting that he was likely suffering cold-induced psychosis but, knowing he'd have to get him out of as many soaked layers as possible, he carefully peeled back the coat and found a tiny gray kitten huddled inside.

A couple expletives poured out - he wasn't sure which ones, but maybe that was for the best - and he carefully pried the kitten out and tried to swipe off the worst of the water, quickly wrapping it up in the scarf and breathing onto it.

"You tried to kill yourself for a kitten? Suicidal bastard," Levi shook his head, though a surge of fondness spread through him because people like that just weren't around these days.

"I'm not suicidal," he chattered, trying to sit himself up. "I didn't know there was a pond there."

Levi shook his head again, once more returning to the task of getting the boy out of that coat, made all the more difficult now that he was relying on one hand whilst the other was paying attention to the kitten.

"Shouldn't you at least buy me dinner first?" The kid waggled his eyebrows - or tried to, but his face was still mostly frozen so it came out as this awkward spasm.

"Shut up," was all Levi said, adding an order of, "Take off your shirt and put this on."

"Sounds kinky. And that coat probably won't fit."

Levi whipped his head up, narrowing his eyes. "You're an ungrateful son of a bitch, aren't you?"

"You need it too," The kid dipped his chin in acknowledgment of Levi's equally dripping state.

"If you would hurry up and put it on we can go get a taxi and then I won't."

There was a beat of silence before he just said. "Oh. I suppose arguing with you would only cause your death after all, eh?"

He took it back; the kid wasn't ungrateful - he was cheeky, and Levi was torn between laughing and shoving him back under the ice.

Though Levi couldn't help but frown, because the kid wasn't wrong. It really was too small for him, barely covered past his elbows and had no hope of covering his chest.

His exposed chest.

Which, Levi noted (then instantly discarded) wasn't the worst set of pectorals and abs he'd ever seen, and the dark tan was pretty easy on the eyes even tinted white and covered in splotches of maroon.

"Come on," he said instead, leading them out of the goddamn park in the quickest way possible. Was caught off guard when something touched his shoulder and almost knifed the perpetrator right then and there.

Was _more_ caught off guard when he saw the kid was wearing the coat like a cape and trying to cradle Levi against his side.

"This is fucking ridiculous," Levi muttered under his breath, pressing the kitten securely between them and relieved when it started mewing because at least it still had some fight in it.

Couldn't find it within him to protest anymore because, considering he'd just been submerged and it was still barely twenty out, the kid was pretty warm.

. . .

By the time they reached the edge of the park and were able to hail a taxi, any spurt of life or second wind or whatever the hell it should be called had completely _died_ , and they were more leaning on each for support than warmth. At least a taxi responded quickly, some concerned old guy trying to get them to go the hospital.

Levi sure as hell wasn't about to go, but he thought maybe the kid needed it and was just starting to agree when the kid piped up,

"No, I'm fine, just crank up the heat and head to - " He stopped then, turning to Levi. "Do you need the hospital."

Levi shook his head resolutely.

"You live around here?" He questioned, which made Levi bristle a bit because he was paranoid, but he shrugged and said,

"Twenty minutes." It would be closer to five with the taxi, but whatever.

"I'm closer then. Wanna' head back just to get dry? I promise I won't get fresh," the kid added with a grin.

Motherfucking cheeky bastard.

"Take us to wherever this asshole lives then," he gestured vaguely, opening up the scarf to peer down at the kitten who seemed better off than both of them combined and was actually _purring_ , the endearing little shit.

The kid spouted off some address which really was closer than Levi's place and the cabby cranked the heat, claiming it felt like a sauna to him though both he and the kid agreed by way of eye contact that it still felt like a fucking fridge.

. . .

Levi insisted to pay for the taxi, giving him a tip because he got there fast and had an excellent heating system, even though both of them were still shivering and in varying degrees of wetness. Couldn't help but cringe with how damp and gross feeling the bills were, and sighed because at least he didn't have his phone or anything else that would be permanently damaged from the water.

They stumbled out of the car, immediately cursing the wind and the snow and everything about goddamn winter in goddamn New York, and then walked up some stone steps to an apartment complex that finely straddled the line of "shitty but livable" and "livable but not middle class".

Staggered up too many flights of stairs (it was barely two, but Levi was going to bitch about anything he damn well pleased), and fumbled with the lock to the kid's door.

Eren had already stripped off Levi's coat and draped it around his own tiny frame and was walking over to what looked like the thermostat to blast it as high as it would go.

"Stay here, I'll go grab some clothes - "

"No, that's fine, I'll be on my way," Levi was already muttering, but a sharp interjection of, "No!" halted his hand on the doorknob.

"I just came to make sure you didn't die on the way," he commented expressionlessly, tilting his head to the side and trying to take back his earlier agreement of staying until he was dry.

"You could die, too, you know!" The kid pointed out - literally pointed - with the most graceless gesture Levi had ever encountered.

"We're all going to die someday," came his response which was weird and morbid even for him, but to his astonishment it earned a laugh.

"You have shit humor, you know that?"

He did, he really did - both literally and figuratively - but what he didn't know was why he got a laugh out of it.

"Look, just stay until you aren't shivering so much you'll break your bones and you stop looking like a vampire," the kid pleaded.

"I'm not exactly Malibu Ken, you know. I don't get much darker," Levi informed him crossly.

The kid just stared for a bit - probably gauging his seriousness - then ran a hand through his still damp hair, cringing when his fingers came back slick with pond water.

"Please?" He finally asked, pathetically, looking like a kicked puppy who had his ice-cream stolen. Which was a really stupid-ass analogy, but -

"Oh for fuck's sake, fine," Levi growled darkly, ignoring the happy grin sent his way.

"Great, you - "

"Can I shower?" Levi cut him off rather rudely, but his mood kept plummeting the more aware of the situation he became.

He was standing in some kid's apartment, dripping icy water onto the floor as he half-heartedly held a purring kitten against his freezing chest, and his teeth were still chattering so hard it was a very real concern they would shatter.

"Oh, yeah, of course! Definitely. I'll still grab you clothes though," the kid stuttered over his words, turning beat red for some reason and it was then that Levi's mind chose to remind him that the kid was standing shirtless in front of him, rapidly gaining color that went straight to the blush in his cheeks.

Levi just nodded, sure to look as bored as possible and thankful the kid didn't demand he rip off his own shirt in the name of not-contracting-hypothermia. He was proud of his body, all solid muscle despite his size, but he had enough imperfect skin bubbling up everywhere that he wasn't exactly down for the third degree from some teenie bopper.

"I never did tell you my name," No, he did not jump at the sudden voice and anyone who claimed otherwise better prepared for their throat to be slit.

"I'm Eren, Eren Jaeger," he beamed, thrusting a bundle of clothes and trying to pry away the kitten.

Levi withdrew and sheltered the kitten protectively for a moment before he processed the kid's - Eren's - intent and gently handed it over in exchange for the clothes.

"Thanks," he groused, stalking towards the bathroom only to realize he wasn't entirely sure where it was.

Eren, bless him, simply said, "Take the left and it'll be right there."

Levi nodded again.

"I didn't catch your name?"

It was definitely a question - one Levi debated answering falsely or ignoring entirely before sighing and figuring it wouldn't kill him.

"Levi."

And he went into the bathroom.

. . .

Considering the kid was probably twelve and likely born in a barn, the bathroom was overall pretty clean; not exactly tidy, what with the toothbrush and paste haphazardly tossed on the sink and the shampoo and soap tipped over awkwardly on their sides, but it was devoid of any gross stray hairs or bodily fluids or even mildew so Levi could deal with it.

Gently peeled off his clothes and found his fingers so numb that undoing the button and zipper on his pants was almost impossible, the tips so purple he was mostly convinced he'd actually contracted frostnip which, at least, wasn't quite frostbite but was still pretty shitty.

He filled up the sink with hot water and submerged his hands in it, hissing at the contact and sudden change in temperature, but keeping them there until they felt a little less numb and swollen. Also promptly realized he was standing buck naked in some brat's bathroom shivering everywhere but his hands which were immersed in steaming water.

Sighing, (because how did this even become his life?) he reached over and turned on the tub, struggling to figure out how his shower worked because everyone's was stupidly different, and he never got why there couldn't be some universal shower system to spare people this exact situation.

But he managed, and soon the head was spraying down bullets of water so hot it seared against his skin in a soothing way and smoked up the entire bathroom.

He didn't stay under long, wanting to make sure the kid had his chance too and feeling guilty he didn't do a better job of making him go first because Jaeger was the one dying and, shit, Levi could be such an asshole. He toweled off and was pleased he could feel the fibers scraping against his skin, was equally happy about the fact his muscles worked well enough to scrape it against his skin in the first place.

Levi had been clever enough to realize that the kid was at least six inches taller than him and had probably fifty pounds on him, but the way his entire fucking body was swallowed up by the mammoth clothes he'd been provided had him cursing as he tried to roll up the sleeves to a reasonable amount and the waist band high enough that he wouldn't be tripping and fuck, if he didn't look ridiculous.

He scowled darkly, shuffling out of the bathroom and hugging the clothing tighter to himself in a double effort to stay warm and not have it fall right the hell off.

Following the sounds, Levi waltzed into the kid's kitchen where he was standing by the stove preparing something (was that tea?) and draped in about three different throws and a comforter so only his head and hands popped out.

So he looked like the abominable snowman and Levi looked like some brat trying on his dad's clothes, and because everything about this whole situation was so ridiculous Levi didn't even question it other than to wonder why he hadn't expected it in the first place.

The kid turned around, two steaming mugs of something in his hand, and startled so badly when he saw Levi that at least half of the liquid sloshed onto either the floor or the top blanket.

"Goddamn ninja," he muttered darkly once his chest stopped visibly heaving even under the twenty-seven layers.

"Fucking scaredy-cat," Levi retorted with a roll of his eyes, stepping forward to grab one of the mugs.

"Drink this and then go get a shower. That pond water was filthy," Levi added so there would be no room for argument even though he sensed rather than saw the protest frothing inside the kid.

"Yes, mother," he snarked back instead, sliding his feet across the floor rather than actually lifting them up in some sort of awkward shuffle that was as annoying as it was endearing.


	2. Chapter 2

My shitty tumblr is "emmeri" ^.^

* * *

Before long, they were crashed on his couch and watching some goddamn crime show, the kid constantly explaining why he thought who did what as they sipped their tea.

No sooner was his mug done than Levi shipped Jaeger off to the bathroom, once again reminding him that the pond was infested with god only knew what (the kid had only retorted that maybe it would give him super powers with which to fight crime).

So now Levi was left alone in the modest living room, surprisingly nicer than his own if only because it looked like it was actually lived in. A couple of pictures were sitting on the bookshelf next to the TV, and, though Levi respected his privacy enough not to get up and examine them closely (or maybe he was just too exhausted to waste the effort), he thought he could make out Jaeger with someone with dark hair and another with blonde hair.

A piece of laundry or two was scattered on the floor, and an empty cracker box was lying on its side underneath the coffee table but, overall, it was pretty clean too. Which meant Levi felt secure enough to steal one of the blankest Jaeger had been using (after thrusting three onto Levi and making sure he was as nested as possible) and curl up against the arm, resting his head on the back of the cushion and closing his eyes.

The kitten - whom Jaeger had been keeping warm and was fed and watered and had some torn up newspaper in a shoebox for its litter - was toddling over and collapsed in his lap with a tiny little grunt so tiny and so little Levi wasn't sure he heard it.

"Shitty cat," he murmured with a twinge of fondness he would definitely deny. "This is all your fault, you know."

It just batted at where his hand was buried under the blankets and stared up at him before snuggling it's little head underneath it's little paw.

It was just so goddamn little.

"You and Cat seem to be getting along well," the comment was thrown casually from the doorway, and Levi just lolled his head to the side to see the abominable snowman had returned.

"You're calling this pest 'Cat'?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah, we don't know its gender yet, and I don't want a guy to suffer with the name Princess his whole life."

"So if it's a girl you'll name her Princess?" Levi replied blandly, sneaking a hand out to scratch behind its ears.

"I - " Jaeger clamped his mouth shut. "Do you have any better ideas?"

"Because it's so much harder to improve Cat or Princess," Levi snorted. "How about Ugly?"

"Ugly?! That's terrible! You can't - "

"It is gender neutral. And kind of endearing, don't you think?" He remarked, his face softening despite himself when the kitten gently licked his fingers.

"Fine. If it's a boy, I'll name it Ugly and if it's a girl I'll name it Princess," Jaeger huffed, the bustling under the mountain implying he was defiantly crossing his arms.

"You say that as if you've somehow won some battle of wills with those names," Levi stated dryly, shooting a glance from the corner of his eye and noticing the kid was starting to blush again.

"Shut up," was the only response, so he obliged.

They fell into comfortable silence, Jaeger's own hand clawing passed the blanket barrier and giving the kitten attention as well that it was just soaking up.

"You going to take it to a vet?" Levi asked finally - not that he cared or anything.

"I volunteer at an animal shelter - " of fucking course, he did " - so I'll just let them check her out."

He ignored the "her" and went straight to, "You'll put it up for adoption?"

Jaeger faltered. "It's not like I want to, but I don't know if I can keep her. I'm not home a lot with work and volunteering and my sister and - "

"You can't just give her up," Levi interjected, not sure why he felt so adamant about the matter.

"Would you want her?"

"I can't have pets," he sighed, thankful in a way because he likely would have taken the stupid furball. "You can't let just any mongrel get her though, okay?"

"I'll try to keep her, but ask around to see if you know anyone who could take her," Jaeger compromised, and Levi nodded. It sounded reasonable.

"We did almost die for the little shit, least we can do is make sure she gets a good home."

"She will," Jaeger said a little too quickly, but Levi couldn't begrudge him, and they lapsed back into silence.

"So I'm actually a web designer," the kid began suddenly. "I do some IT stuff too, but my focus is coding and design of business' webpages."

"Oh," Levi said because he didn't know why he was being told this much less what to say. A voice that sounded irritatingly like Hanji's told him that it was called being "normal" and "social".

"Sometimes I get to work from home - " oh he wasn't done yet, maybe there was a point, after all " - But usually I'm contracted out to whatever company and work in their offices directly."

He grunted in acknowledgment to show he was listening, but focused all of his attention on the kitten.

"And I volunteer down the street at least three times a week. My friend, Armin, is actually the one who got me involved though he's on to bigger and better things," there was a definite closeness between the two just from the tone of voice and soft smile, indicated by the genuine happiness for his friend's success.

"My sister Mikasa - well, adopted, but that's a long story - joined too, but since our schedules changed too much for us to both volunteer at the same time, she's dropped it too to focus more on her stuff. She's a fitness trainer at a gym in downtown. She's even gotten to help some pretty big names!"

He was the most energetic and enthused person he'd ever met, aside from Hanji who redefined the terms with the qualifier of "insane", and had leaned forward to stare down at him expectantly, clearly waiting for something.

"Wow, that's cool," He tried, and it worked for he was met with eager nodding and an exclamation of,

"I know, right? She's pretty awesome," he paused only to chuckle to himself. "She would probably skin me alive if she knew I took an impromptu swim just to get a kitten."

"It was a dumb thing to do," Levi affirmed, hoping his stupidity of jumping in after a total stranger wouldn't be brought up.

It wasn't, but something maybe more embarrassing was.

"Well, I got a kitten. And I got to meet you?"

It was hopeful, and soft, and gentle, and fuck, he was just a kid and Levi was an old man with more baggage than a goddamn airplane storage and he would only -

"I mean, I don't mean to be creepy or anything," Jaeger added hastily.

"Aren't you twelve?" Levi asked bluntly, smacking himself internally because that wasn't what he meant. He was just trying to figure out how old he was and here he was coming across like a total asshole, or creeper, or a creepy asshole.

Rightfully so, Jaeger scowled at him and plopped back on his end of the couch. "I'm twenty-three not a fucking fetus."

Oh.

"Oh," because what else could he say?

The kid tossed a sidelong glance his way, "And you?"

"Twenty-eight." Closer to twenty-nine, but it was some time away.

"You look younger."

"So do you."

They reached a slightly uncomfortable stalemate, but either it was just Levi who thought that or the kid had no regard for awkward tension, because he started up again.

"Do you have plans for Thanksgiving?"

The query threw him completely off, being such a stark difference to what they had just been discussing.

"I don't know," he mumbled as he often did when met with things he didn't want to answer. "You?"

Jaeger didn't seem bothered by his uncooperative nature, instead eagerly talking about his own plans and even delving into his normal traditions.

"Mikasa and I are going over to Armin's place. They can't cook for shit, but I make the best goddamn turkey and the best goddamn mashed potatoes this side of Virginia!" He boasted, prattling on about their festivities and how they still made those stupid hand turkeys because his mom had always made them with him - while she was still alive, she died some years ago and my dad skipped out not too long after - and then watched football which I don't really get, but Mikasa loves and -

The kid had a motor like one of those goddamn wind up teeth, and every time he thought he was done, he had something new to add. Paused every two hundred words or so to get a grunt or a "Huh" from Levi which must have served as some kind of fuel, because then he'd keep right going like he was only just starting.

It was starting to get dark out, Levi noted. Probably because of that fucking daylight savings bullshit that made it night at 4 o'clock, but Levi was so cozy piled into his little nest and, as irritating as the kid would normally be to him, his incessant chatter was actually rather soothing.

Until it turned its attention on to him and began begging to know what it was Levi did.

"I'm a hitman for the mafia," not even the truth in the statement sent Jaeger running; instead he only threw his head back and cackled, leaning forward and poking his knee out of the mass of blankets as he shifted to face Levi entirely.

"Seriously, you know more than you probably cared to about me. I barely even know you're name!" He added, as if that could serve as persuasion for Levi to confess.

"If you must know, I'm a mortician," he deadpanned, eyes boring into the kid's stupidly wide ones.

The brat faltered, was so obviously shocked and maybe a little grossed out, but also so obviously trying not to be rude, and Levi was convinced he would implode if he wasn't relieved soon.

"Well, I mean, as long as you found your passion. I'm sure many families - "

"Relax, I'm not a mortician," Levi rolled his eyes, a smile trying to force its way onto his lips though he refused to let it. A weary sigh did make its way passed, "If you must know, I work at a museum. Mostly in the art section, but I'm stuck wherever Eyebrows sends me."

"A museum? With art?" Jaeger was practically sitting on his lap in earnest. "That's so cool! Do you get to analyze mummies to see if they're legit? Or the Mona Lisa to see if it's really DaVinci's?"

"I don't work at the fucking Louvre."

"But still, that's awesome!" the kid gushed anyway, clearly unperturbed.

"I guess."

"No, really!"

He just shrugged, petting the cat some more.

. . .

Soon it really was dark - as in actually lateish dark, not clock-fucking dark - and a quick peek out the window showed it wasn't snowing anymore.

"I think I should be going then," Levi announced quietly, momentarily blindsided by the cuteness of the kitten yawning and stretching. It allowed him to mostly ignore Jaeger's crestfallen face.

"Are you sure you'll be okay going home?"

"I've definitely surpassed the worry over hypothermia or frostbite," Levi remarked dryly, hoping to let the fact his nose was that irksome combination between runny and stuffy and his throat was starting to ache slide under the radar.

"You might have gotten a cold," the kid pointed out.

"You might have died," he rebutted, carefully lifting the kitten and setting it to the side, letting the blanket act as a sort of hammock so it didn't have to move despite the transport.

"You could have let me."

The words hung heavier in the air than such a simple statement should have, and he knew he didn't want to make eye contact just as much as the kid did.

"Seriously though, I never really thanked you for that," he was rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, a small smile quirking his mouth upward. "I would have died had you not been there, no doubt about it."

"Don't sweat it, kid," Levi returned just as quietly. "Besides, I was after the kitten too."

"You didn't even know it was there, Mr. Invasion of the Body Snatchers," the kid grinned, all awkwardness sapped from his features.

"Shut the fuck up," was all he said back, standing up and stretching. "Any chance my clothes are dry yet?"

Jaeger seemed a little surprised by the abrupt change of subject, but then shook his head dejectedly.

"I don't have a dryer here and I doubt they drip-dried already even in this heat," which, seriously, as freezing as Levi was earlier this place was like fucking Tattooine or something.

Levi hesitated, "That's fine, I doubt I'll die on the way home after surviving the way here." (And maybe he should stop tempting fate with all of these death jokes.)

Jaeger blinked at him for several beats before launching up, "You're seriously thinking of putting those back on? Keep mine for fuck's sake, you can give them back later."

Which was a bad idea because Levi should get this innocent, exuberant, stupid-ass kid as far away from him as possible, but instead he let out a begrudging,

"Fine."

"And, here, I'll drive you home." He was already grabbing a ring of keys from a plaque by the door, but Levi was already on top of things, too, going on about how he was a grown-ass adult and could get himself home.

"After you risked your life for mine? The least I can do is take you home."

Levi should have listened to his misgivings about his own shitty personality and own shitty past. Should have, at the very least, listened to his paranoia that told him Jaeger could be a psychopath at best, an old mob connection at worst (never mind he was over a thousand miles away).

Instead, he was nodding and saying "fine" which was a word that was maybe becoming dangerous for him to use so often.

"Okay, I'll give directions on the way. It's a bit of a cesspool," he admitted and was graced with a light chortle from the kid.

"Grab your stuff then; I'm sure Cat will be fine for the few minutes I'm gone," the kid acknowledged the pitiful mewls of the kitten, trying to coax her back onto the couch as Levi went into the bathroom to retrieve his stuff.

Cat seemed to disagree with the sentiment, loudly proclaiming her disdain even as the kid locked the door behind them.

Levi was definitely too attached to the little fucker, but he didn't process how much until Jaeger gave him a reassuring smile and said,

"She'll be allright."

. . .

It was cold outside, sure, but seemed like a heat wave compared to earlier. How much of that was psychological and how much of that had to do with actual temperature increases, Levi was unsure, but he wasn't going to complain either way.

Jaeger had a rundown little two door, but it was better than what Levi himself had which was, namely, nothing. The heat barely worked but made a fatal sounding rattle nonetheless that Jaeger kept apologizing for despite Levi's constant biting assurances it was fine and keep your eyes on the goddamn road.

The trip there was one of those curious paradoxes that took no time at all yet also at least a hundred years, and soon they were sitting uncomfortably in the car, neither sure what to say and neither wanting to leave with the same amount of vigor that they did.

Finally, Levi broke with, "Thanks for the ride, kid. Don't go jumping in any more frozen bodies of water, got it?"

Jaeger beamed. "Don't go after any strangers and get yourself killed."

Levi rolled his eyes, shutting the door with a little wave and fully intending to wait until the car was gone before he went about unlocking the complex door, but after about thirty seconds he realized Jaeger was one of those dorks who waited until the person was actually inside before driving off.

Snorting to himself, he pulled out his key and shoved it into the lock, hearing a satisfying click as it popped open and offering another vague gesture behind his back before he shut the door.

This time, when he turned Jaeger was driving off.

Levi slowly ascended the stairs dipping his chin in acknowledgment towards the landlord's daughter, Petra, who often kept watch over the lobby.

She smiled brightly and waved back, starting to say something that was cut off by a violent sneeze on his part.

"What?" He asked, and she just shook her head, waving him up the stairs. Probably some small talk pleasantry knowing her.

Finally, he was in front of his shitty apartment door - something that had certainly never looked so beautiful - but to his surprise (more like terror), he heard voices filtering from inside. He quickly whipped the knife out of his calf holster and held it in front of him, kicking open the door and fully prepared to explain to the police the blood was from self-defense.

Instead, he was met with a screech of,

"Leevii! You didn't die!"

And a calm,

"Put the knife down, Levi, unless you're actually going to kill me this time around."

Goddamn Eyebrows and Shitty Glasses.


	3. Chapter 3

Of course they were in his apartment, though, after the sudden and unpleasant realization that it was in fact _movie night_ and they were _supposed_ to be here, he couldn't quite resent them.

Much.

"I don't _plan_ on killing either of you, but don't push your fucking luck," he grumbled, shrugging out of his coat and toeing off his shoes.

Hanji was on him in an instant, gripping his shoulders and making him face them.

"Whose clothes are those?" They demanded, a glint in their eye that could only mean trouble.

"The punk I stole them off of," He retorted, but they had already switched gears.

They wrenched the plastic grocery bag form his grip and began pawing at it.

"And why do you have a bag of wet clothes? These are definitely your clothes!" They concluded noisily, clomping over to thrust the evidence under Erwin's nose.

"Thanks, Sherlock," He rolled his eyes, snatching it from their hands and stalking off to his bedroom to get out of the ridiculous sacks he was currently swimming in.

But suddenly he was jerked back rather violently by the back of his collar, and Hanji was pressing their nose against his.

"What happened to my Levi?!"

"If you would shut up for one goddamn second and let me get changed I'd tell you," He groused, shoving them off and marching to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him loudly.

It was only then he realized his blunder - "I'd tell you". He had told Hanji he'd tell them. He had willingly plunged himself into the depths of hell.

. . .

Now in normal clothes and swaddled in an extra hoodie or two for good measure (his apartment was far colder than Jaeger's, and the chilly car ride hadn't helped), he walked out to the living room with the resignation a death row inmate has when facing execution.

He'd barely entered the room before Hanji was guiding him to the couch, shoving a bottle of beer under his chin with a hearty, "Drink! You're chattier intoxicated."

Too weary for the verbal volleying, he opted to flip them off instead, taking a good sip nonetheless.

"Story time!" Hanji squealed, yanking their feet to sit in an Indian style on his nice, now contaminated, couch.

"Yes, do tell," Erwin encouraged with a smirk and a casual drink from the bottle hanging between his fingers.

"Well I've been going to the park like you suggested," which he should _not_ have admitted to because now Hanji would think that he would follow their every whimsical piece of advice, but he was spared too much enthusiasm on that count by Erwin's chastisement.

They shared a brief nod of camaraderie - Eyebrows was still an asshole, mind you - and Levi continued.

"And some fucking moron chased this kitten into the pond and fell into it - "

Hanji gasped obnoxiously, and even Erwin started.

"No one died," he interjected hastily before the barrage of questions could start, and took a solid chug from the beer this time, wishing Hanji had at least had the consideration to bring him something stronger. "But I didn't want some brat's death hanging over my head - " not that it would be a new concept for him, but _focus_ " - so I went after him and - "

"You dove into the pond in this weather?" Eyebrows echoed, resting his elbows on his knees and cocking his head towards Levi.

"I didn't bring my phone," he said instead of properly answering.

"I noticed that. Every time I called I'd hear this weird bee infestation in the walls of your room before Erwin pointed out it was your phone," Hanji commented sincerely.

He was surrounded by idiots.

" _Anyway_ ," he forged on. "We both got out with the kitten and took a cab to his place because it was closer."

"Did you, you know?" Hanji interrupted with an eyebrow waggle.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," he growled, smacking the back of their head and finishing his first bottle only to promptly crack open another.

" _No_ , he offered me dry clothes because otherwise I would have died of pneumonia or hypothermia or some shit I probably got anyway, and once I wasn't a complete wreck and could actually feel my extremities I came back."

That wasn't entirely true; he had definitely stayed longer than that, but he knew if Hanji, or god forbid Erwin, got a hold of that information his life would truly become nothing but torment.

"I always knew you were a softie at heart," Hanji beamed fondly, patting his chest and leaning forward to plant a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"You're disgusting," he scolded, heaving them off and wiping his face with his sleeve but leaning against their warmth anyway, knowing they noticed but didn't comment.

"So what was this kid's name?"

"How old was your damsel in distress?"

Both of them asked at the same time, Hanji coming up with the latter.

"Darren. Maybe Eren. And he said twenty-three, I think," Levi answered coolly - maybe too coolly - but any amount of enthusiasm would result in outright stalking from Hanji and low key matchmaking from Erwin.

It did still, of course, leave him with some teasing and joking cupids at his side, but they didn't sound too serious.

. . .

Levi wasn't entirely sure how much he had drunk, but he knew it had to have been a fuckton because he held his liquor than anyone else he'd ever met - Erwin, twice his size, included - and here he was inebriated like a sorority girl trying to impress the frat boy.

Not that he was alone, Hanji was cackling at nothing and Erwin was going on about some existential meaning of life shit. He almost processed there was some ridiculous sci fi movie playing in the background, but kept forgetting and startling at the loud explosions or terrified screams and jerking up from the couch, proclaiming he would save whoever was in trouble.

Actually, maybe that was why Hanji was laughing; there they were, pointing their scrawny finger at him and singing, "Darren and Levi sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G".

And if he corrected them with an adamant, "Eren", well, no one was going to know their own name much less the brat's in the morning.

At some point, however, they had all fallen asleep. Levi almost thought he remembered seeing the sun peeking through the crack between the curtain and the wall, meaning they'd gotten to bed considerably later than they should have.

It was no wonder, then, that when Levi woke up to some drool on his shoulder (fucking Shitty Glasses) and snoring louder than a goddamn jackhammer (fucking Eyebrows) and a headache so intense he was sure he had actually _died_ and gone to _Hell_ because he was used to pain, but hangovers were something innately supernatural; he was dazed and groggy and in _pain_.

He pried himself out of the mass of limbs entangling him in varied fashions, spared a brief moment to note they had at least had the sense to lay down some pillows and blankets on the floor and moved some furniture for larger space (ignored the other note that he had no memory of doing that), and trudged towards the bathroom.

Consuming more alcohol than morticians used for embalming fluid - funnily enough - made a guy have to piss.

By the time he had gotten to standing in front of the mirror above the sink to wash his hands, he wasn't so sure he even wanted to know what he looked like.

Hell, would be a good word. Shit might be even better.

His hair was an atrocity in and of itself - the nasty white flecks could only be Hanji's drool - and his usually pale skin was really bordering on that vampire chic Jaeger had accused him of. If he had one more set of dark bags under his eyes he could probably pack all of his belongings and move to Tahiti with room to spare.

A few splashes to the face weren't going to cut it, and, since he vaguely knew he wouldn't have to go into work until the evening, he considered going back to bed. His own bed, not the makeshift pit that was infested with two idiots.

But once he was up, he was _up_ , so getting more sleep would be fruitless. That concluded, he wandered across the hall to his bedroom to grab some clothes before indulging in a very long shower.

He only hacked up half of a lung and sneezed out a few bits of brains, so he deemed it a win.

It's not like he was getting _sick -_ Levi didn't get sick in the first place. But his chest did ache and his head was lighter beyond the hangover and his nose made a peculiar noise crossed between a train's engine and it's horn.

Food was a revolting concept at the moment, but coffee was something he could always choke down, so he began brewing a pot - adding some extra grinds because he knew he'd need it.

A quick glance at the clock showed it was just after eleven, which was later than he had expected but earlier than he'd hoped for. Hanji and Erwin seemed to be dead to the world still, so he hopped up on the counter and cracked the curtains open to peak outside.

Not that there was a much of view. A shitty streetside with shittier and cars and shittier people. A couple of buildings across the street blocked most of the the sights due to his being far shorter on the second floor, and he noted once again that the one window was still broken though he couldn't figure out why.

It'd been like that for months.

So lost in his idle musings over the window and its story - how did it get shattered? Why did no one fix it? - was he that he didn't notice the hulking presence until it was mostly in front of him. But he wasn't an Ackerman for nothing, and he managed to catch the tensing that wanted to surge his muscles into a jump, instead turning a cool expression to the blonde buffoon.

"Shitty Glasses still asleep?" He questioned, pitching his voice low so as to keep them that way.

Erwin nodded - massaged his temples after the action in a way that informed Levi he was suffering from a hangover at least as bad.

"Coffee?" He grunted, pausing to stare blankly at the pot.

Levi just grunted back, flopped his arm up towards the cupboard in a loose invitation to get it himself.

Erwin continued to blink rapidly and absently rub his forehead before he nodded again, and wandered off towards the bathroom with some guttural noise that Levi interpreted likely meant "shower".

By the time the pot was done and Levi was on his second cup, Erwin returned. Had just gotten down his mug and was pouring the java when a loud banshee-worthy moan reverberated through the small apartment.

"What _year_ is it?" Each word was dragged out obscenely, every consonant slurred with the vowel next to it in a drawn-out song that sounded more like a zebra's mating call than English.

As expected, Hanji came stumbling in, crashing their shoulder into the doorjam because they were uncoordinated on a good day, stupid on days like these. They didn't seem to notice though, simply staggered a little to the left and made another attempt.

The second try was successful, up until they reached the table where their hip smashed into it - making them lose their balance and fall face down onto the surface.

Another groan and they tilted their head to proclaim,

"I'm never drinking again."

"You say that a lot," Levi commented dryly, taking a long, savoring sip of his coffee.

"I _mean_ it," They insisted, managing to push themselves up only to slide forward and snag Erwin's cup which they chugged in less than two seconds.

Erwin looked like he really _wanted_ to be angry, but was so confused by what had just happened he couldn't work out how to be.

"You'd just get drunk on one of your weird science experiments instead, only to kill yourself because it was poisonous," Levi shook his head, recalling the many times they had him hold their hair back while they vomited whatever concoction they had tried to ingest.

"Venomous," Hanji muttered. "Poisonous if you bite it, venomous if it bites you." They added, and he chose not to remind them they had just backed up his usage and not their own.

"What time is it?"

"Not quite 11:30," Levi sighed, darting his eyes over to Erwin who was pouring more coffee in quite the daze.

They hummed in response, taking Erwin's new mug and giving him back the old one. Levi had to hide a chuckle at that, more so when the blonde's eyebrows scrunched together as he stared between the two before it finally clicked and he yanked it back.

Suddenly, a wail that would challenge most air raid alerts filled probably all of fucking _New York City_ as Hanji cried,

"Armin! I was supposed to meet Armin at 11! I still need to - " Levi blocked the rest out in light of keeping his sanity (or maybe it was because his sinuses stuffed up and did that thing where all he could hear was a faint ringing).

A hand waving in front of his face finally got his attention.

"What?" He finally bit out.

"Do you want to catch a ride?"

"I don't have to be there for another few hours," he scowled like Hanji was stupid - because they were.

"Yes, but then you can meet Armin - "

"Coconut headed floof? I did."

"He's so sweet! And - "

The ringing once again spared him, and soon he was sighing and shrugging and then nodding and now he was piled into their car, about to show up several hours early to be at his work when he wouldn't even be paid.

. . .

His mood was not improved by Hanji's chatter or _horrifying driving_ , because they had somehow already gotten over their hangover. Hanji may have gotten drunk faster than most anyone he'd ever met, but they almost never suffered any amount of hangover ever - at least not more than twenty minutes' worth. It was unfair and cruel and something he was constantly bitter about.

So while they were happily yammering about god knew what, he was left to question his existence and just what he had done to deserve this all. They reached the museum fairly quickly though, and Hanji was already screeching to Armin (who very likely couldn't hear her) about how sorry they were and they'd make it up to him with something sweet.

A few onlookers stared at them, but he was kind enough to nudge them forward with a hand to their back to spare them too much embarrassment - not that they had any amount of shame.

All the way to the lab on the second floor Hanji was shouting to Armin, and, unable to take it anymore, he left them to their own devices so he could grab a cup of coffee from the staff room before joining them.

Even all the way on the opposite end of the floor - several corridors away - he could hear when they had finally reached the blonde mushroom by the way their pitch changed from shrill to pealing. A weary sigh dragged passed his lips, and he slowly trudged towards them, the voices growing louder by the minute.

He shouldn't have agreed to this, but Hanji was such a whirlwind he wasn't sure how he wound up in most of the situations they forced on him.

Unassuming and bored, he wandered into the lab only to be tackled by Hanji and slosh a dribble of coffee.

"Fucking hell, asswipe, what?" He bit out, half heartedly blotting his shirt with his hand and sighing that at least it was a darker shade of purple and not something like white.

"I'm just so excited you can help Armin and I experiment on Sonny and Bean!"

"You haven't already killed them?" He retorted.

It was going to be a long fucking day.

. . .

All too soon - or maybe not soon enough - it was time for him to actually go to work so he bid the two geeks goodbye and prepared for telling people to keep their grimy-ass hands off of the priceless art or chasing away teens from making out behind a statue.

He felt that his glowers lost some of their bite when his stupid fucking chipmunk sneezes made their appearances - a moniker Hanji had given them that he could never forget - but, on the other hand, also gained some intensity because his shitty constitution made his irritation all the more prominent.

By the time he was ready to close down the museum at eight, he seriously considered how screwed over he would be if he didn't go through any of the closing routines. He decided it wasn't worth it (after a solid five minutes of pondering and a solid five of zoning out), and set to work shutting down the exhibits and making sure no one was in the building aside from the three night guards, a trio of kids that looked like they could kill even him with just one look and - more importantly - never engaged him in small talk and rarely in conversation at all.

It wasn't even pushing nine-thirty by the time was done and locking the front doors, and he really, really, really wished he had asked Hanji or Erwin to give him a ride home.

A steady whiteout of snow made seeing three feet ahead all but impossible, and the slush already settled on the ground was just deep enough to slither into his shoes and seep into his socks. To make for an even more perfect night, it had to be ten degrees at the most and he hadn't thought ahead enough to bring proper protection from the chill since he had gotten a heated car ride.

He also blamed his lack of foresight on the fact he was suffering from a hangover and whatever cold tried to be working its way into his system against his will; not to mention that Hanji skewed everything out of proportion and understanding.

When he at last saw the lamppost that flickered to an irritatingly predictable rhythm which signaled his apartment complex, he was heaving and shaking and trying very hard to just put one foot in front of the other.

Ice fingers worked to get the front door and succeeded only after about three years of trying, and finally he was stumbling in. Absently wiping his feet and his addled brain tried to tell him that Petra was calling out to him with concern but his eyes weren't working and he couldn't make out her petite red-headed frame so he chalked it up to insanity.

A long (so fucking long) trek up the stairs dumped him at his apartment and he didn't even have the peace of mind to try the lock, just jiggled the handle and stumbled in.

Maybe processed a deep voice above him before his knees gave out and his cheek was smashed into rough carpet and he was out like a light.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry guys! I updated this on ao3 but forgot to do that over here, so have a couple chapters at once to catch up. Thanks for all of the positive feedback^.^

* * *

Restraining hands.

Hushed voices.

Artificial light.

Desperate yelling, and maybe that one was him.

He thrashed against those holding him down, was shouting at them to let him go and he would kill them if they didn't -

Then suddenly he gained enough leverage and someone's grip slipped and he was wrenching himself away - rolling off onto the floor and struggling to right his feet on the cold linoleum.

Something was clutched in his hand; something wet was dribbling down his arm. It took him far too long to realize he had ripped out his IV and it was only then the world shifted into focus.

Several people in medical garb were using gentle tones to soothe him - slow, deliberate movements to not startle him.

And there he was in a hospital gown, ass hanging out as he brandished around the needle in front of him.

It was irrational - and the thing was he knew it was irrational - but he was plagued with the idea of these people belonging to some black market organ trade, or being lackeys Kenny had sent after him after their less than pleasant dissolve.

But then suddenly another body joined the fray - an impossibly tall, built, blonde buffoon and his entire being sagged in relief as the syringe slipped between his fingers to land gently on the floor.

"Erwin," he tried to keep his voice steady, but it was weak and shaky and everything he hated.

"Levi," Eyebrows acknowledged, hands out in front of him and steps ginger. "You passed out and I took you to the hospital. You have a moderate case of pneumonia and are here for treatment. I should have stayed until I knew you were awake and understood the situation."

Levi just shook his head, his muddled head and blurred eyes trying to process the testimony and see if his surroundings added up. The medical staff looked somewhere between frightened and concerned and ready to sedate him, so he hastily nodded (ignored the rush that brought) and set himself down on the edge of the bed with a muttered, "Sorry".

"There's no need for that. It was just a huge misunderstanding," Erwin assured him, crouching down in front of him and any other time Levi would have joked about finally being taller, but now he just felt impossibly tired.

"These people are going to hook you back up and take your vitals, but I'll be right here," the blonde continued, peering up at him with a gentleness Levi could never deserve.

Levi nodded this time; struggled to tell Erwin he could go but couldn't actually find the words because his breathing was still shallow and fast and painful, and his heart was in a similar state.

Soon, the staff had done their job and Levi was letting his head sink into the pillow, closing his eyes even though he couldn't achieve true darkness with the brightness of the lights.

"Are you okay?" Erwin asked only after several minutes of silence interrupted only by the monitor's beeping any time Levi took too long to take a breath and it reminded him to actually breathe.

"Yeah," he sighed, lifting a hand to scrub through his hair and opening his eyes again. Everything was too white and too distorted and he figured he must have a fever.

"You do, they just said your temperature is 101," Erwin answered, so maybe he said that out loud.

"You did," Eyebrows chuckled, so he had said that out loud too.

"I don't like this. What do they have me on?" Levi questioned, craning his neck to read the IV bag.

"Saline fluid and some antibiotics."

"Fan-fucking-tastic. I'm high without even shooting up," he scowled, scratching at his hand in irritation but being careful to not actually jerk it out again.

"Hanji knows you're here, but I told them not to come until tomorrow. I figured you'd need some rest before that," Erwin added.

"You're an actual saint, aren't you?" Levi yawned, his hand absently in front of his mouth, only to serve a greater purpose when he started hacking up phlegm and spit.

"Fucking hell, this is disgusting. How the hell are you even here?"

"A little snot never bothered me," Eyebrows beamed, already leaning over for the glass of water next to him. "The important thing is to just keep breathing."

Levi flipped him off because he wasn't that goddamn stupid.

"You can leave if you want. I'm just going to try to go back to sleep and now I at least know where I am," Levi told him, fingers playing with the loose thread on the hospital blanket and eyes avoiding contact.

Erwin didn't say anything, so, sucking it up, he snapped his gaze upward.

"I really appreciate your sticking around and getting me here in the first place," that was followed by a loose gesture to the room. "But I know you have that meeting with that douche Dawk about picking up a few more pieces early tomorrow morning, so head home and sleep."

Eyebrows was about to say something, but he continued.

"Why the hell were you at my place anyway?"

"I never left to begin with."

"You're a fucking idiot," Levi growled. "Your penthouse is about three thousand times better than my shitty apartment."

"You have more alcohol."

"Are you still a little hammered?"

"Well, I was. Until you decided to take a snooze on your goddamn floor right in front of me," Erwin added pointedly. "Next time you're feeling sick, use your words."

"Shut the hell up and get out of my face, Eyebrows," he groused, crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest and pursing his lips in what some might call pouting - but really wasn't.

Erwin laughed, "I care about you, too, Levi."

But then he was actually standing up and shrugging into his coat and saying goodbye; and he hadn't even left yet, but Levi felt impossibly lonely.

By the time he did get his perfect ass out the door, Levi was slumped in his bed and battling weary eyes to stay awake.

He may have said he was planning to go to bed, but he knew quite well that he would be waking up in a panic and, without Erwin to ground him, someone could very well get hurt.

His damn eyes were trying to start a mutiny, however, and kept watering until he gave them relief by closing his lids briefly. Then he'd realize that he was about to drift off and jerk awake.

It was a shitty cycle, and a glance at the clock showed that it had been less than five minutes since Erwin left.

"Um, Levi? Is that you?"

And if Levi shit himself because that sounded like Eren fucking Jaeger at least he had a whole staff to clean him up.

. . .

He paused several beats to regain composure before he finally cleared his throat and replied with a satisfyingly steady,

"Jaeger? That you?"

"You can call me Eren, you know," came the response.

Motherfucking son of a bitch. Jaeger - Eren, whatever - had been right there through his whole little freak out and Levi just wanted to die.

He heard shuffling from the other side of the curtain and soon it was pulled back to reveal a standing, grinning Eren Jaeger with eyes too bright and hair too messy and skin too tan and holy hell, why was he even here?

Apparently he still wasn't able to control the whole brain-to-mouth thing because Eren just beamed wider and said,

"Well looks like we're in the same boat. I've got pneumonia too."

And if he had spoken more than the curiosity over Eren's presence then Levi would probably just slit his throat right then and there.

"Of course you do," Levi mumbled, watching from the corner of his eye as the kid shuffled to crawl back under his own covers then flopped his head over to look at him. He didn't seem to be acting like someone who had just received any form of commentary about his appearance, so Levi tried to relax.

"Sorry."

"For what? Getting yourself sick?" Levi snorted.

"For getting you sick," the brat corrected, complete with a finger pointed sharply at him.

He waved Jaeger off. "It's been a while since I've harassed the nurses around here, I guess."

"None of them are that cute though," Jaeger pouted, actually fucking yelping at the glare Levi shot his way for being so rude to the unlucky bastards having to help his shitty ass.

"I mean they're all nice and pretty but there's not a single attractive guy," he bemoaned, gesturing dramatically and staring upwards as if to ask God why He had cursed him.

Levi just about choked on the air, or his spit, or something equally trivial because that was news and a reminder to get as far from this kid as possible.

Instead, he just coughed uncomfortably and fidgeted with the blanket.

"Ah, hell, I made things weird didn't I?" The kid was rambling. "I didn't mean to. Great, now you're stuck with the creepy gay kid who checks out nurses and complains when they're girls and I promise I won't like, try to make a move on you - oh shit, I just made it worse again! I mean what I'm trying to say is - "

"Take a fucking breath, Jaeger," Levi stopped him, running a hand through his hair. "I don't give a damn if you like it up the shitter."

Now the kid was choking on nothing and blushing and avoiding eye contact, and soon they were both wheezing out laughs at the ridiculousness of the night so far.

Once he had finally calmed down - had to actually wipe tears from his eyes and blow out several breaths before he managed to stem the giggles - Levi commented,

"At least we're both complete social disasters."

Eren chortled at that then sobered enough to ask, "So you really don't mind?"

"I prefer my men too, so don't sweat it."

Which he should not have said because now maybe the kid would see some potential that shouldn't be there, because Levi was a complete basketcase and didn't do relationships ever so he should just cut off all ties.

His worry wasn't eased when he noticed Eren's eyebrows shoot up and the not-so-subtle once over he shot his way.

"So Erwin - ?"

"That bastard who gave me a job at the museum," Levi offered, not willing to outright admit they weren't dating but feeling he owed the kid some type of explanation.

"Oh. I don't really have anyone either," He said which would have seemed harmless and random in any other context but now had Levi just shy of panic. He was going to fuck the kid up; this sweet, gentle, perky dork who designed web pages and rescued fucking kittens.

Levi just nodded, staring down at the back of his hand where the IV had been placed.

"How long have you been here? I got in around six," Eren remarked, absently staring at the ceiling and twirling his hand in the air as if listening to some tune only he could hear.

He glanced at the kid, mesmerized by the unnecessary rhythm and took several beats to respond.

"Not sure, sometime after ten though, I guess."

"Did you have to walk home? That probably didn't help, you know." Before he could answer, Eren was continuing, "I really am. Sorry, I mean. I never thought I'd give some guy pneumonia when I went to rescue that kitten."

He was so sweet it hurt; maybe he would try to hook him up with Petra. They'd be perfect.

Never mind, Petra wasn't exactly a guy. But he was. Shut the fuck up. Oh shit, was he saying any of that aloud?

Levi hastily jerked his neck over to Eren, but he was still chattering about the kitten and the goddamn weather, and his arm was still restlessly waving around in what was far too soothing an action.

"It's fine," Levi cut him off without thinking. The subject had probably changed five times over, so he hurriedly added. "I don't mind getting sick. It doesn't happen often and I could use a break from that dusty museum."

Now he had Eren's attention, whose head was cocked and pupils trained on him and teeth gnawing on his lip.

"I think you might be an angel," Eren's words were soft - painfully sincere - and the burning in those cheeks was only rivaled by the burning in his own.

"I highly doubt that," Levi murmured after a beat or two of silence.

"I'm not trying to make things - " The kid struggled over his words for several moments. "You didn't have to save me, or worry about the kitten, or pay for the cab, and here you are saying you don't mind getting pneumonia and trying to make me feel less guilty."

Levi just shrugged, a tinge of shyness that he thought had vacated him basically the day he was born spreading over him and making him duck his head.

Like some fucking high schooler, which only made him more embarrassed and more red and this stupid kid would be the death of him without even doing anything.

It wasn't like Levi was smitten - that wasn't even the denial speaking, either. He wasn't magically head over heels in love with this kid, but there was no denying he was sweet and he was attractive and he actually laughed at his shit jokes and gave him a chance and -

There was that potential there.

And potential was dangerous. Potential surpassed love because love was painful. Potential was fucking hope and it made anything seem possible without any of the negative aspects of love, and potential meant that some part of him believed it might actually work and tried to talk him away from the smart choice of dropping everything and moving to Tahiti.

Potential was the danger in the romantic world; potential destroyed lives, and the thing was Levi wasn't sure who would be worse off in the end.

Maybe he'd been musing (panicking) too long, because suddenly Eren was leaning off the edge of his bed and gesticulating wildly to get his attention.

"What?" He snapped. Or meant to. It came across shocked and timid and, really, this pneumonia would be a blessing in disguise if it saved him the humiliation and killed him.

"Are you okay? You spaced out there," Eren's voice was filled with concern and his puppy dog eyes were shining.

"Yeah," Levi snapped. Or meant to. It came out as a cough and then a hack and soon he was doubled over spitting out saliva and mucus and god knew what.

He even got the attention of a few nurses, some tiny blonde thing (and, damn, she was tinier than him so therefore should stay by his side every day to make him feel tall) and a giant with freckles.

The short one was an angel and the freckled her demon counterpart, but they gave him something that eased his throat and helped his nose unclog so he couldn't hate even the dark haired one too much.

While they were there, they dropped over by Eren's cot and checked his vitals, fluffed his pillows, and were all around a lot nicer to him.

Levi pouted a bit as they left - which Freckled Satan caught and glowered at him with such ferocity even he was nervous.

Eren made some guttural noise that indicated he was going to speak, but an invasive yawn interrupted him and took a solid ten seconds to run its course.

"Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly.

"You're probably tired; I'm sure I woke you," Please don't acknowledge the bigass elephant in the room that I'm a complete nutcase and flipped the fuck out earlier.

He didn't, which confirmed Levi's suspicions that the kid could only come from heaven itself. He simply shrugged,

"We got to talk some and I found out I have a pretty awesome roomie through this hell. I am pretty beat though. You should sleep too," he tacked on with a significant look that Levi ignored.

"Night, brat," he sighed, flipping to his side so his back was to Eren and pulling the blankets so his skin wouldn't be exposed and give the kid a free show.

"Good night, Levi. Don't let the bed bugs bite."

"Don't let Freckled Satan hear you say that. She'd probably skin your ass for insulting her ability to keep this place clean."

That earned him a throaty laugh that started to turn into a cough before it was under control, and then an even quieter,

"Sweet dreams."

. . .

Despite Levi's best intentions to stay awake, he must have drifted off sometime after the sun had come up because he remembered feeling solace that at least the sunrise was beyond gorgeous - all blood reds and deep oranges that danced across the sky before being dissolved into blue.

His eyes felt crusty and his nose was nothing but hardened snot; some hushed voices and squeaky wheels were floating in and out of his muffled hearing. He was planning to go back to sleep rather than face what was surely a cruel reality, but his throat hurt like hell and breathing was becoming more and more of a bitch, so he finally cracked a bleary eye open and blinked several times.

He still couldn't see beyond the shit gunked to his eyelashes, rubbed away at them and tried again.

This time he was met with a face not two inches from his own, eyes magnified and breath a cross between coffee and boiled eggs.

Jerking back and swatting violently maybe wasn't the most rational thing to do, but they were just lucky he wasn't home where he'd have access to an array of actual weapons.

Hanji just squawked some twisted sounds of amusement, and Erwin gently pulled them away by their shoulder.

"I always think you're the cutest asleep and then you wake up like that!" They informed him, an edge of solemnity to their tone that had nothing to do with the statement.

"You're fucking insane, you know that?" He grumbled darkly, pushing his hair back from where it had flopped onto his face.

"You like to remind me," they replied cheerily, using their hand to pull up their leg over the other rather than using their leg muscles like a normal person.

Before he could comment on that, however, they leaned forward in a conspiratorial whisper,

"Have there been any cute guys? Everyone loves a good nurse costume - "

"Oh for fuck's sake, shut up, you hag," he shoved them away.

"Are you feeling any better today?" Erwin switched gears before Levi actually killed them.

"Just ducky," he sneered, scratching absently at his hand where the needle was inserted.

For some reason, he just really didn't want them to meet Eren and couldn't help but pleased that some dark-haired chick had visited him with a long-faced guy and another freckled one. At least both parties were too distracted to notice the other.

"Levi?"

"What?"

"The doctor says you can probably leave sometime today or tomorrow as long as you have bedrest and keep up with your medications," Erwin stated slowly, as if he'd repeated it many times before. He probably had.

"Oh. Good." Levi nodded, his gaze flickering back over despite himself.

The sooner he could get away from this kid, the sooner he could forget him and shove any potential down the fucking drain where the rest of the shit belonged.


	5. Chapter 5

Just remember every time you see the word "endearing" it's because Levi is too 'Levi' to use the word "cute" ^.^

* * *

Soon Erwin and Hanji had to leave due to their still having obligations to the museum, so Levi was left to his own devices.

Or, he would have been, had Eren not insisted on including him with his own visit and gaggle of idiots. Armin - who, funnily enough, was the same floofy coconut head that Hanji dragged around with them (which seemed obvious now because there wasn't exactly an "Armin" around every corner, though he was pretty sure Eren missed that exchange) - even pulled a chair over and planted himself closer to Levi, and Eren started whining that he should be able to just move his whole cot because it wasn't fair.

"Life isn't fair," the long-faced guy rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest and sending a look to the kid.

That got a much sharper reaction than Levi had expected, having only witnessed the gentle and awkward person before. Now he was graced with a red-faced, flailing dork who was yelling with much more intensity than strictly necessary.

"Is that what your mom said when you were born?"

"No, it's what she said when she saw your face," the other guy shot back. Original.

"At least I don't have a horse-face!" Eren retorted with an extravagant point.

So Levi wasn't the only who noticed and, if "horse-face's" reaction was anything to go by, he wasn't the only one to notice by a long shot.

Freckle-boy was putting a careful hand on his friend's arm, trying to calm him from tearing off Eren's limbs and straddling the line between stern and gentle.

"Now, girls," the dark-haired girl mediated, shooting glowers that had him wondering who would win between him, her, and Freckled Satan. "Play nice; we are in a hospital setting after all."

Eren started protesting, but the other one calmed down and rudely encouraged the brat to do the same.

Armin leaned over and quietly whispered, "Eren and Jean are always like that. I think the only reason Jean listens to Mikasa was because he was stalker-crazy in love with her until he met Marco. Well, I mean he and Marco aren't actually a thing, but we all know it."

Fucking hell, was basically everyone in that goddamn room gay? Levi almost considered asking Armin about himself and Mikasa, but decided against it due to creepiness factor.

Mild arguments continued - Armin helpfully commentating on what the "beach ball" incident referred to (apparently Eren almost got eaten by a shark chasing after a beach ball into the middle of the ocean), or the peanutbutter effect (so Jean was fatally allergic to peanuts and Eren was constantly giving him blatantly peanut infested stuff, not that he would ever actually let Horse-face eat it; he hated him but didn't want him dead).

It was a little refreshing to see this side of Eren; to know that he had some spunk to him beyond being able to hold his own against Levi's barrage of insults

But, unfortunately, his observations couldn't last because suddenly Mikasa was addressing him which brought with it the attention of everyone else.

"So you saved him?"

Levi started to nod, but was interrupted by her continuation of,

"Why?"

Which he wasn't really expecting so he scowled, "The fuck if I know."

Mikasa bored into his eyes for several beats before apparently finding whatever the hell she was looking for and dipping her chin curtly.

"All right then. Thank you."

"Sure," he mumbled, not really sure what to do with the exchange.

Eren saved him by butting in, "Calm your mother hen tendencies, Mikasa. Not everyone is out to get something from me."

That was her angle? Well, he supposed he would think the same way had he been in her shoes.

"I mean I did get some of your clothes out of the deal," Levi shrugged because he was a fucking idiot why did you say that?

No one said anything for a solid beat before Armin started to laugh, and then soon everyone was - Mikasa even cracked a smile.

It wasn't supposed to be that funny, but he guessed he was hilarious so it wasn't unsurprising.

"You can keep them if you want," Eren finally breathed out - having, of course, suffered a coughing fit because god forbid anything go well for more than twenty seconds.

"They fit about as well as potato sack on a puppy," he replied as if it were obvious - which it was.

"I thought they were pretty endearing," Eren smiled and maybe it was his imagination (probably it was his imagination) but time stopped along with his breathing and sound muffled aside from his hearbeat and sight zeroed in on the brat's eyes. He really should just request a new roommate and get the hell out of this before it started because that potential was hovering over him like a goddamn gray cloud.

"Fuck off," he grumbled with a pretty effective eye roll.

Everyone was laughing again except for him, as he was too busy battling his imminent demise.

. . .

Everyone filed out; Jean and Marco first, followed soon by Armin then Mikasa. He found that he liked all of them for vastly different reasons, and he wasn't sure why he had softened so much around the kid. He automatically hated someone until they proved him wrong and, yet there he caught himself considering half a dozen friends in twenty-four hours, starting with the kid himself.

"I'll trade you that turkey sandwich for an egg-salad. I literally hate this shit," Eren frowned, prodding his dinner as though it were hazardous waste.

"You don't like eggs?" Levi questioned, already getting up for the exchange, annoyed that he had to fidget and drag his IV pole with him like some kind of tethered charge.

"I love eggs! But not when they're squishy and smell like sewer," he cringed then, shoving his plate away gingerly.

"Most people who complain about hospital food are worried with the taste, not the menu item they themselves ordered," Levi commented, taking a nip off the corner and finding the taste pleasant.

Eren tossed his head back in a groan. "Mikasa ordered it because she always makes it and thinks I love it. She can't make anything else, really, and I don't have the heart to tell her I pretend to eat it by shoving scraps in my pocket then later flushing it down the toilet. Nurse Ymir scares me too much to ask about changing orders."

Levi snorted, half at his reasoning for deceiving Mikasa (and that reasoning was endearing as fuck), and half because he was pleased that even the kid noticed the terror that was Freckled Satan.

"How about you? Anything you don't like? Or have eaten to appease someone else?" The latter was said around a mouthful of bread, a contented pop as he licked some mustard off his index finger.

Levi stared up at the ceiling.

Isabel always made those godawful cookies - godawful not because he didn't like peanutbutter blossoms but because she couldn't fucking bake - but he wasn't sure he wanted to go down that road.

Instead, he shrugged and offered, "I'm not big on most seafood and fish. Even popcorn shrimp makes me want to die and it's more bread than crustacean."

"I'll have to make my coconut Thai shrimp dish; if you don't like it in that, then there's just no hope for your taste buds," Eren grinned, and Levi tried really hard to smile back, but his heart was too busy trying to break passed his lips for them to achieve anything but a grimace.

. . .

The night passed uneventfully - unless he decided to count Eren's tripping on his line on the way to the bathroom and causing a flurry of staff to check on the blaring machines - and the morning greeted him with Petra's visiting with a bouquet of flowers that had him blushing despite being from a seventeen year old girl.

Well, maybe he was less blushing at her and more blushing at Eren's teasing.

At his seemingly innocuous remark that the orchids could never be as pretty as his eyes.

. . .

The doctor's prognosis had been correct.

He had gotten out a few hours after Eren - which was that third evening - with strict orders to stay away from anything that wasn't going to let him lie down or take a piss (which wasn't quite how the doc had phrased it, but close enough).

Also the medications were a big deal, apparently, even though he was sorely tempted to flush them down the toilet. Erwin said he would personally beat the shit out of him just so he'd be hospitalized again and be under the supervised ingestion of drugs if he even suspected that Levi maybe had skipped a pill.

At least he had managed to get both overbearing mother hens - Hanji and Erwin - to go to their own respective homes and give him some peace. Though with that peace came the freedom of invasive thoughts about sea green eyes and bedheads so he shrugged into some sweats and a floppy hoodie then dropped on the couch to flick on some mindless TV.

He watched about seven episodes documenting poor Rachel's tragic love life and how she had actually been dating her long lost twin brother only to find out he was trying to kill her to get to the money she didn't know she had either, and it was about then he passed out.

. . .

Levi knew his life was really beyond saving when, as soon as woke up the next morning, he found himself googling Rachel's fate. She turned gay for her best friend, and he swore if there was one more gay reference anywhere he might puke because all it did was remind him of his pathetic state.

Curiosity satiated, he wandered to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and take his first dose of antibiotics with a small glass of orange juice. Checked his phone to see about a dozen missed texts and as many missed calls from Hanji, and a stray reminder courtesy of Erwin.

He irately replied to both that he wasn't dead yet and had just downed some pills, and went back to wallowing.

. . .

Several days passed in much the same manner until he couldn't take it any more and went back to the park.

Eren didn't show up, and he was equally relieved and disappointed.

. . .

About a week had passed and he deemed himself worthy enough to go to work again, despite both of those idiots' protests who kept trying to chain him to the bed and make him eat via a feeding tube.

Usually Hanji threw themselves at him as soon as he stepped through the door of whatever godforsaken room they were in, but this time, as he stalked into the staff room, they merely gingerly approached him and cautiously poked his shoulder.

"You're not dying?"

"I wish I was," he muttered grumpily when they did so, pushing passed them and wandering over to the counter where he began pouring some coffee.

They gasped at that, ran over just to squish his cheeks in between their hands and exclaim,

"My little Levi shouldn't even joke about such things!"

"Whatever," he groused, shoving them away this time.

"You're even surlier than usual," they noted - actually wrote down in a memo pad with it purposely angled so that he could see.

"I haven't exactly been in top condition the passed few days, you know," he rolled his eyes in excuse, moving away.

"Levi?"

"What?"

"You'd tell me if something had happened, right?"

He hesitated in the doorway.

"Sure."

No, he certainly would not explain to them that he was too preoccupied thinking about some brat that he barely knew to take care of himself properly.

. . .

Less than a week brought Thanksgiving with it; a cruddy, late-night dinner at Hanji's place with Erwin and some drunken festivities that may or may not have involved hand turkeys.

He had no elaboration as to his abrupt desire to make them, was only comforted that the other two were too intoxicated to question much of anything beyond how their project could look more like an elephant than a turkey.

. . .

"You can meet Armin's friend! I forgot it was bring a friend day!" Hanji gushed, clutching his wrist as they stalked towards their lab and causing a bit of tea to attempt to slosh around.

Grumbling and glowering, he brushed off their arm and let them go at their own ridiculous pace while he trudged slowly behind. Despite it being an obvious meeting if he had used more than two brain-cells to consider it, he was beyond unprepared to see whom Armin had brought.

To meet a stupidly messy bedhead of brown hair and even more stupidly green eyes.

"Eren?" He found himself asking blankly, almost drowned in the just as astonished,

"Levi?"

That, of course, caused Hanji to lose their shit.

God forbid he know anyone but them and Erwin.

"You have other friends?" Was battled by Armin's far less grating,

"I didn't even think about your working here."

"Levi!" They wailed. "Why didn't you tell me? Eren's always been my favorite cutie, too!"

That had the kid blushing deeply, he noted, clearing his throat in embarrassment then doing it again in favor of saying nothing else.

Hanji paid that little mind, too busy flipping the fuck out.

"Is he your secret boyfriend? Do you - "

"Shut the fuck up, Shitty Glasses," he growled, shoving them away. "This is the brat who almost died to save a kitten."

Armin smiled smugly, the devious fucker, and Levi got the idea that this wasn't entirely a chance meeting despite the blonde's earlier innocent remark.

"Didn't expect to see you here," Eren commented with a shrug.

"I could say the same to you," Levi shot back, taking a sip to ignore the way Hanji was hanging onto every fucking word.

"So this is the museum you work at? I've been here a couple times; I wonder if we've ever run into each other," the kid mused which was definitely going to cause Hanji a stroke right then and there.

"Could be," he offered, then turned to the moron beside him. "Take a breath. I know him; he knows me. It's not something for some goddamn history book."

"But it is interesting! And I can't believe I didn't introduce you sooner!" They cackled, clapping him on the back and then hauling him forward.

He just rolled his eyes and they all stood there in fairly awkward silence until Armin finally asked what they were doing today.

That, blessedly, diverted Hanji's attention away from him and the kid and soon they were babbling to Armin about some new technique for dating the new artifacts that would come in. Taking another drink of the tea he had gotten before Hanji dragged him along, he glanced at Jaeger from the corner of his eye to see him chewing on his lip.

"I really can't believe you know Hanji," He remarked softly.

"I'm more surprised you know them," Levi replied, gesturing loosely with his tea. Armin may have known them, but it honestly hadn't much occurred to him that Eren might know the psycho. "We've known each other for years now."

"Oh really?" The discomfort was slipping and his enthusiasm was coming back. "How'd you guys meet?"

Levi hummed thoughtfully as he deliberated what to say. "Erwin was letting me stay at his place then that banshee waltzed in and took a liking to me."

That earned him a chortle.

"They keep things interesting, at least."

In return, Levi snorted then switched the subject, "Are you actually interested in any of their horror projects?"

"He keeps trying to get me to go back to college and is hoping that this 'learning adventure' will entice me." He added, complete with finger quotes.

"You dropped out then?" Levi prodded, ignoring the voice that was demanding an explanation as for why he even cared.

"Yeah, after the first semester. It wasn't really worth it, you know?" He was leaning against the counter now, staring out the window and clearly lost in thought. "It was fun because I had friends and it was nice to learn some stuff, but it wasn't worth the years of debt it'd put me in. Besides, I've been able to expand my field without dishing out the dough."

"Computer shit, right?"

It was Jaeger's turn to hum in acknowledgment. "Need anything done?"

Levi just shook his head and they fell into silence very thinly straddling the line between comfortable and awkward.

"The shelter is babysitting Ugly," Jaeger spoke at last.

"You named the little shit Ugly?" Levi echoed in disbelief.

"You were right; it is kind of endearing," He laughed, a twinkle in his eye and a flush to his cheeks.

Levi directed his gaze outside.

"How's he doing then?"

"Caught a little kitten cold and has a pretty bad infestation of ear mites, but that wasn't anything surprising to me," Jaeger answered. "I visit him when I can, but they've been watching him since I haven't been home and he needs more constant care."

"Who?"

Suddenly Hanji was right there, and Levi instinctively swatted at them.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you it wasn't nice to eavesdrop?" He jeered with fake sweetness.

They ignored him and immediately targeted Jaeger for their third degree. "Who?"

"What, are you a fucking owl?"

They ignored that too.

"The kitten we saved."

(No, he wasn't lingering on that 'we' at all.)

"Awww, how's he doing?" They cooed, flopping all over the counter like a goddamn fish.

The kid repeated the same thing - well, most of it - because then they interrupted him,

"What's going to happen to him?"

"I think the shelter will have to find a home for him," Jaeger responded sadly, but then they were gripping his shoulders and shaking him and exclaiming what a tragedy that was.

"I'll take him!" They finally ended.

"What?"

"You will?"

"You'd kill it."

The three sentences were spoken at once, and they chose to focus on Armin and Jaeger's curiosity instead of his snide comment.

"I'd love to! You know I'd take good care of it, and I'm home enough. Besides, maybe Erwin would let me bring him here sometimes!"

Somehow Levi doubted it because, as much as he loved cats, that love wasn't blind. They were demon spawn and would fuck shit up whenever possible, so the idea of having one loose around priceless artifacts somehow left something to be desired.

But all in all, it didn't sound like a bad idea. Hanji was insane, that was no doubt, but they were also loving and gentle and cared more about the safety of anything living more than anyone he'd ever heard of, never mind knew.

Levi had definitely missed some of the conversation because they were already figuring out when Hanji could pick Ugly up, but he couldn't help but feel happy that the stupid little thing would be having a good home.


	6. Chapter 6

"Armin said that cutie Eren has been asking about you," their voice was high pitched in a mock version of a song.

"So?" He asked boredly, shifting to face them and taking a theatrical, apathetic gulp (that was really fucking hot; there was a price to pay for being so suave).

"So?" Hanji echoed incredulously. "He's perfect - "

"Shut the hell up."

"But - !"

"I would just screw him up. We both know it."

Their expression softened. "Aww, honey, don't say such negative things about yourself! Me and Erwin have managed to stick around; you can't be all bad."

"Yeah, but you're certifiable and he's persistent, so - "

"Eren seemed pretty determined, if you ask me."

"Yeah, well, no one was asking you."

"And yet here I give you free advice anyway. The only payment I need for you to accept it is - "

He cut them off with a glare, but much to his dismay, that only encouraged them for they raised their voice,

"A glare! You've accepted my advice!"

"You're lowering my IQ," he growled. Which wasn't particularly original; at least, he used it often enough that it lost its bite.

They wouldn't let him get away with any form of subject change, and immediately plowed on,

"You and Eren would be perfect! What are the odds that you would meet so often outside of fate? New York is a big city, you know!"

"Yeah, but Bed Stuy isn't all that huge," was his lame response. "It's more than plausible - "

"You just don't want to admit the truth," they shot him down. "Let Hanji help you with that."

Their grin was definitely one that usually preceded world wars or at least some minor catastrophe.

"No," it was childish and wouldn't solve anything, but he flipped her off and all but ran to the safety of fucking anywhere else.

. . .

Erwin was the one to find him and, honestly, if that idiot even mentioned 'Eren' or 'green' or 'bedhead' or 'hospital' or - Well, the list for what he would not kill him for was probably shorter. Point being, Levi was in an even less of a mood to deal with his shit than normal.

Much to his surprise, Erwin simply plopped down next to him where he had hidden in the cleaning closet. He tidied a bit while he was in there, wiped down the bottom of the bucket he'd chosen for his seat, but it was by no means clean enough for Eyebrows to sit on the actual goddamned floor.

"That's pretty fucking disgusting, you know that, right?" Levi groused, gesturing vaguely and trying not to stew that Erwin was still almost taller than him.

"Some guests are wondering what happened to the art curator," and it wasn't angry, it wasn't patronizing - it wasn't even disappointed. It was quiet and concerned and Levi had done a lot to deserve a lot, but Erwin certainly wasn't on that list.

"When have I ever been a people person?"

He got a chuckle for that, and then Erwin was facing him more fully.

"Remember when we first met?"

"Nope, I've completely forgotten."

Erwin - actual saint that he was - breezed by the snark to get to his point. "You were pretty bedraggled and in some deep shit, and I remember at some point that night you said, 'I used to love art, you know. I was always fascinated by how someone could create something beautiful when all I can create is something ugl - "

"What, did you bring a fucking tape recorder with you?" Levi interjected, not really needing the reminder that he only fucked shit up.

The moron didn't comment on that either. "I wouldn't have offered you the job if it wasn't something I thought you'd like doing. I know you enjoy the art here. And, even if you won't admit it, I know you enjoy talking with people about the art."

"Why would I enjoy - "

"You do. There's no need to deny it. I know you complain about this job, and I know you complain about the stupid customers you do have deal with. But I also know you're passionate about art and love the chance to see some first hand."

"Yeah, okay, Freud. Going to tell me my love for art comes from my daddy issues and sex drive?"

Erwin shot him a look that said well, yeah, kinda, but wasn't suicidal enough to say it out loud. Talking about Kenny or his sexuality while in a goddamn broom closet wasn't exactly high on the things he wanted to do.

(He knew there was a 'coming out of the closet' joke right there, but he couldn't quite get it out.)

"My point is, I can gather something is eating away at you. And I could guess what it is, but I value my life too much for that." He was smart too. "Unless, of course, you decide to sulk in here the rest of the day. In which case, I'll have to pry it out of your cold, dead hands."

"Tch, like I'd sulk in the first place," he grunted.

Apparently Erwin wasn't going to let him ignore the point, and even went as far as to prod him in the ribs.

Scowl fixed in place and sigh creeping its way out, he nodded.

"Yeah, fine, you fucker."

"Good. And if this continues just know I will be nagging about it. I'll even get Hanji on board."

They were pestering him enough as it was, god only knew how homicidal they would make him if Erwin encouraged them.

He decided right then and there to go into ultra-stealth-mode and hide every last feeling in the depths of his soul with the other shit.

. . .

The thing was, Erwin wasn't wrong.

Levi bitched and bemoaned about his job at least twice every hour, but he really did enjoy it overall.

The painting in front of him had come in while he was sick - even though he was the primary candidate to choose a painting, he wasn't the only one; Rico was the other art curator and she had taste at least as good as his.

It had a meld of blues and greens and oranges and yellows and at first he hated it because it was gaudy and swirly and one of those pop art pieces of shit that looked like someone had thrown fruit at it in a rage; but then he depicted the winding and followed and the pattern and saw that it was a scene overrun with waves of water. That there were two people and one of them was dying, their body being swallowed up by the ocean so that only their head and shoulders were available.

And, fuck, the expression the living one had was twisted and tragic and terrible. The longer he looked the more he loved it, and the longer he looked the more he hated it.

"It was submitted anonymously and I knew I had to have it the moment I saw it," Rico commented, crossing her arms and standing next to him.

"It's hideous," he stated flatly, barely hiding a flinch of surprise.

"Isn't that what makes it so beautiful?" She rebutted, her hand reaching out to stroke it but stopping an inch from the canvas, dropping listlessly back to her side.

He didn't know what to say, because she couldn't be more right, so he just stood there.

. . .

Eren had dropped by the museum with Armin three times within the past week and a half, and Levi kept trying to convince his two idiots that it was purely coincidental he happened to be in the bathroom for three hours, or taking his lunch break, or just generally not there.

They didn't buy it, which didn't surprise him because as many derogatory names as he called them they really weren't stupid.

But, gracefully, they also didn't pressure him. At least one of them (by that he mostly meant Erwin) must have sensed this wasn't something he could face at the moment, so they didn't tease him a great deal, much less force him to interact with the brat.

This had been going pretty well - okay, really well - for almost another week now, and business was really starting to die down because there was less than two weeks til Christmas and everyone was super busy with last minute shopping.

So his job had been blissful - had been just like how he wanted it to be. His standing there with a cup of hot tea and admiring each of the pieces in the gallery, always finding something new the longer he scrutinized it.

Until he heard a rather timid,

"Uh, excuse me. Is the exhibit open?"

He heaved out a sigh, rubbed his forehead, and then plastered on the most pleasant expression he could manage (which, for the record, was definitely not a smile).

And goddammit all to hell if that wasn't Eren fucking Jaeger - the very person he'd been dodging for close to two weeks now.

"Levi?"

The kid had repeated his name at least twice now, probably concerned with the near catatonic state he was in.

"Yeah, it's open," he finally answered a little shakily but much more steadily than he thought he might be capable of.

The brat grinned a little unsurely at that, took a step forward into the room and closed some of the distance between them.

"I just figured I wanted to see it in person," he remarked almost breathily, eyes glazed over with wonder as he looked around the gallery.

"We do have some pretty amazing stuff here," Levi affirmed, his coolness back now that he had gotten over the initial shock.

"Which one is your favorite?"

Levi hummed thoughtfully.

"It depends on my mood," he switched his tea to his other hand and began wandering over to the corner to point out one of the very first pieces had had approved.

Eren made some kind of pathetic noise in his throat when he saw it, instantly gushing over how beautiful it was - how the colors made the image have that much more of an impact.

Levi agreed, "I like the darker tone they set the piece with. It could almost be happy, but the deep strokes and deeper hues make it melancholy."

Eren was hanging on to his every word, and soon they were having in-depth discussions about each of the works, even making fun of a few.

"I mean I think it looks like shit, but Rico liked it and it's not as though the museum caters just to my tastes. I get that people like different things," Levi explained when Eren was in stitches over one of the works, finally managing to gasp the questions of, "Why the hell is it here then?"

"Rico? Have I met him?"

"Her," Levi corrected, eyeing him from the corner of his eye, just like the kid was doing to him, as they were both trying to gauge the reaction of Rico being a she.

"Ah," was all the kid said, and Levi almost backtracked and said she was a dude, had he not been sure that his ass would be buried six feet under if she were ever to find out.

"She has excellent taste, but ours differ enough that we can provide for a larger audience or some shit."

"So Erwin owns the museum?" Eren asked, seemingly out of the blue, then quickly tacked on, "You said he helped get you the job, and that's what it sounded like from when I came with Armin and ran into him. Didn't run into you, though."

There was a question there that Levi easily glossed over.

"Yeah, he offered me a job right after they finished renovating it, but it's been in the family forever basically," he replied, only then noting his tea had gotten cold and there was still a mostly full cup.

"You like it?"

"I doubt I'd find anything better," Levi offered instead.

"Have you ever tried to paint? Or draw? Anything?" Eren asked in a rush, seeming to think if he didn't specify the exact art style Levi wouldn't answer him. He wasn't exactly wrong, but he wasn't right either.

"I dabbled here and there, but it takes too much practice if it doesn't come naturally," he shrugged. "You?"

Eren just gave a noncommittal throat noise and kept up the barrage of questions.

"Did you go to college for art?"

"No, college wasn't really an option for me," Levi was walking away now - not really from the conversation (or so he told himself), but because he was still tired easily after standing or walking too much (which really fucking pissed him off), and most of the day had been spent on his feet.

Eren followed at his heels like a puppy, plopping down on the bench before Levi even got the chance to decide where to sit.

Aw, shit, he'd be in this for the long haul. He really needed a conveniently timed phone call or fire or something to get away.

"How'd you learn so much then?"

Levi paused, gnawed on a stray piece of skin on the inside of his cheek. "It's not really hard. I mean I don't necessarily have to spot a forgery or anything. It's just my examining a piece to see if it looks worthy of being bought and displayed and then shooting around theories with interested patrons."

"I think there's more to it than that," Eren commented dubiously, tilting his head to the side and angling his body to face him in a pose eerily reminiscent to that first time they'd met and had gone back to his place.

"That's the basics," he took of a sip of his nasty tea more for something to do under the intense gaze than because he was actually thirsty.

"Do you ever get into arguments with people about the meaning of the paintings? Or whether or not they're good?"

This was like the motherfucking Spanish Inquisition. (And the fact Levi didn't mind the volley of questions was far more irritating than the questions themselves.)

"Yeah, sometimes. I mean that's kinda' what makes it art, you know?" He responded absently. "Being able to get two completely different interpretations from the same work. There's rarely a right or wrong answer for these things."

Eren was staring at him, enough that Levi even shifted a little bit uncomfortably, then suddenly blurted, "You're fascinating, you know that?"

He quirked an eyebrow, not really paying much mind to the kid's backtracking.

"Oh hell, I'm so weird. I just meant - "

"It's fine, you shitwad," he waved it off, leaning back against the bench and looking resolutely ahead.

"You're so nice," the drawl was sarcastic, but the smile was amused.

"I fucking am," Levi agreed, barely meeting the kid's eyes and soon they were laughing at nothing again - and, really, what the fuck was it about this kid that had him wheezing over nothing? Had him smiling broader than he had in actual years aside from the ones Erwin or Hanji could pull out when he was especially drunk.

They grew quiet, managed to sit in a companionable silence for minutes or hours or days, until Eren finally cleared his throat,

"So, um, I was wondering. Wanna' maybe exchange numbers?"

It was shy and nervous and outgoing and confident all at the same time, and Levi wanted to say yes as much as he wanted to say no.

Debated by rubbing his forehead in that telling gesture he knew he had but didn't care enough to hide, before finally sighing and holding out his hand.

"Give me your phone, brat."

If the kid was grinning any more he would literally be nothing but a set of perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth.

Something was plopped in his palm and he massaged his brow some more before nodding once and locating the phone number, quickly adding it to his own.

"I'll, uh, text you sometime," he mumbled, still too hesitant about the whole thing to give out his own number directly, what with the negative voices telling him how badly everything could go wrong.

Eren seemed to understand, or, at the very least, didn't mind. Just beamed stupidly until they finally said goodbye, taking a step forward like he wanted to hug or some gay shit (you're both fucking gay, you idiot), but instead settled on holding his fist out.

Levi gaped at it for a beat before he understood then, with a massive roll of his eyes, bumped it with his own.

Eren flashed his teeth in a final goodbye before at last wandering out of the exhibit and left Levi questioning what the fuck had just happened.

. . .

So he had the kid's number.

And Hanji and Erwin knew he had the kid's number (fucking dammit how even - ? Armin. Apparently Armin and Hanji spent their days gossiping about them, the bastards). And since they knew he had it, they both threatened to text him themselves if he didn't get off his ass and do it.

Here he was staring blankly at the screen and ignoring the breathing on his neck in favor of trying to steady his own heart.

"I don't know why I got his number in the first place," Levi muttered, thumb hovering over several buttons before resting against the side again.

"Because he's cute and perfect and - "

"No one fucking asked you, Shitty Glasses," he growled, slapping their grimy paw away.

"They're right though," Erwin chuckled, leaning down even more (somehow) and leaving his hot breath all over Levi's neck until he shoved him back.

"I shouldn't have taken this first step."

"You didn't," Hanji cackled, but was cut off by Erwin's more rational thoughts,

"He asked for it, from what I gather. And you haven't even texted him yet."

"And maybe I won't."

"We all know that wouldn't be even a little bit fair to him."

"Yeah, well, life isn't fair," it was muttered more as an absent remark than one with any amount of malice.

"You're always so chipper," Hanji laughed, prodding him in the shoulder. "But seriously, just a 'hey, it's Levi'. Or because your cranky how about, "Hey shitstain, it's that short-ass Levi."

"I'm not that mean," he rolled his eyes.

"You are to me," they pouted.

"Because you're a fucking idiot."

Instead of being insulted, they just launched up and clutched his shoulders,

"So you're saying he's not a fucking idiot?"

"Most people would consider that common sense, not a compliment."

"Here, let me tell him that - "

"You say one word to him with my phone and I will pull your brains out of your ass."

"So graphic," they grimaced, but were cowed enough to sit back down like a proper person.

"All right, fine," he heaved out, giving in only because it had been two days of this.

It's Levi

He shot to him. Short, sweet, and to the point.

So why did he feel such a mix of nausea and relief?

. . .

That odd combination wasn't particularly settled when an hour had passed and he still hadn't gotten a reply.

Maybe he'd gotten the wrong number? Or Eren had become miraculously smart and realized what a bad deal Levi was? Even though that would be for the best, Levi found himself disheartened by the fact.

He couldn't wallow too much, however, because as soon as he smashed his thumb against the 'send' button, the other two maniacs had brought out the booze. He only had one bottle of beer - still half empty (or half full? No, he was definitely a pessimist - or, as he called it - a realist). If the brat did text back, the last thing he needed was to be shitfaced and say something idiotic.

As it was nearing Christmas, the other two had flipped on some cheesy, Hallmark classic where the characters were currently caroling at some poor, isolated shut-in of an old man (Hanji had commented it was just like him, before abruptly bursting into tears because the movie was 'so goddamn beautiful'.) Hanji was still bawling and Erwin was tearfully singing along to "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and there was such a racket going on that Levi almost missed the small inconspicuous vibrating of his phone.

He sighed, still not sure if he hoped it was Eren or someone else but, never one to senselessly put things off, unlocked the screen and opened the new message.

Sorry I didn't see this earlier. We just found one of the dogs who had run away almost a month ago! He's doing awesome.

Of course he was, because of fucking course this stupid kid volunteered - not worked but volunteered - at an animal shelter and got excited about finding some lost mutt.

The real kicker was that he even used proper grammar; not that it was a dealbreaker if he didn't, but there was that goddamn potential bubbling up like a goddamn volcano.

Glad he's okay

Levi replied after debating how enthusiastic he should be.

Apparently that was enough, because he spent the next ten minutes hearing about this stupid dog and how it was a wonder he was alive, much less returned, and how it was a Christmas miracle and how -

"Did he text back?!" Was screeched, followed promptly by some gangly idiot climbing all over him and pawing at his fingers to release their death grip on his phone.

"No," he lied; it was such a blatant lie he wasn't sure why he bothered, but admitting outright after the first try seemed wrong for who he was fundamentally.

"He did!" The gasped, managing to grab the phone only because he let them.

"He's just talking about some shitty do - "

His words were cut off by the phone buzzing to life, and of course - of fucking course - this would be the message that read,

So what are you doing for Christmas? I have something small for you if you want it.

Quickly tacked on was,

You don't have to feel obligated to get me something. I just saw it and thought of you:)

If he was any nicer Levi might actually die - or at the very least Hanji would, because they were failing at sucking in air like a fish out of water, flailing about and starting to cry because, again, it was 'so goddamn beautiful'.

"Give me that," he groused, wrenching it back and very much regretting that he had let them get their grimy hands over it in the first place.

He really wished he wasn't entirely brain-dead sometimes.

You didn't have to get me anything, brat

He reprimanded, trying to squelch that stupidly fluttery butterfly-in-his-stomach feeling that was either elated or anxious as hell.

It took a minute to get back,

Like I said, I just thought of you. It wasn't expensive or big or anything. You don't even have to consider it a Christmas present.

He was pretty sure the kid was going to launch into 'ramble mode' so sighed again and wearily replied,

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Maybe we can meet up Christmas Eve or something?

Making plans was a bad idea and - he shut those thoughts up. Or, rather, Erwin did, when he started to pet his hair and mumble about how 'grown up his little Levi was' and that he was 'so proud he was setting up his first date'.

"Would you shit-heads stop crying?" He demanded, weakly shoving each sobbing mass away from him.

Instead they started weeping on each other, moaning about how wonderful this was, and they never thought it would actually happen.

It was about then he figured they were just pulling his leg to be assholes, so he rolled away from them entirely and sequestered himself in the corner of the couch.

Christmas Eve would be perfect. How about around noon at the little coffee shop by the museum? I know someone who works there so we might even get a discount.

Levi stared at it - fully realizing that was actually happening - before he finally blew out whatever left over air he had and sent,

Sure

So. He and Eren were -

"Ohmigod, you have an actual date!" Hanji wailed.

And the scary thing was, they weren't actually wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

Just remember guys, I'm actual trash and update on ao3 but forget about my lovely audience here. I really do love you guys and flail over all of the support you've given me! Love you all so much :*

* * *

Time passed in a blur after that. A few drunken nights with the two idiots broke the monotony of being alone all the time aside from work, as did the sporadic texts with the brat. And, seriously, they were beyond sporadic.

A buzzing at five o'clock at night was just as likely as five o'clock in the morning and, while Levi tended to send short responses, Eren's messages were generally mini novellas detailing everything and nothing. But even with as lengthy and numerous blurbs as he shot Levi's way, never once had he pestered for a response.

That was Levi's biggest issue with phones these days. A person could never have a life or time to himself because if he didn't take the two minutes to read and reply to a single text - that could easily turn into an entire conversation - he obviously didn't care and was a terrible person. It was an annoying and needy and overall stupid as fuck concept, so when the kid let hours go by without a reply without those idiotic "Are you there?" "Hellooooo" prods so many were accustomed to sending, Levi was immensely grateful.

In fact, he even felt more inclined to reply within a reasonable amount of time, though, depending on the subject, rarely had much to offer other than an acknowledgment for the text.

Anyway, the point was that he and Eren had been texting quite a bit, but it wasn't until the day before Christmas Eve that it hit him that he didn't have anything for the brat. He knew the kid had been extremely pointed on the fact that Levi didn't need to get him anything, but he felt like he wasn't even living up to the bare minimum giving that was part of any relationship (as in two people knowing each other, not any type ofrelationship relationship).

Which was why he was wandering aimlessly down the streets trying to figure out what the hell to buy this dork. A fly-away thought had him considering enlisting Hanji's help, but was quickly squashed when he took more than a millisecond to realize how fucking stupid of an idea that would be.

If he were a girl he would just go with a piece of jewelry - he had yet to meet a girl who didn't like receiving that shit even if they didn't admit it. And Eren didn't seem like he'd want something macho.

He liked tech and he liked animals. Anything tech-related would Levi feeling stupid because he didn't know shit and would probably get something lame. On the other hand, it wasn't as though he could buy him a pet. They'd already established he may not be able to take care of a cat, and something easier like a goldfish was idiotic.

Something practical, perhaps? Not that anyone but him enjoyed practical gifts - but at least it would be some sort of offering.

This is why it was nice to only have two people he was required to buy for - both of whom generally preferred alcohol over anything else to begin with.

Just then, he came across a novelty shop and decided to pop in. There had to be something to get a twenty-three year old excitable brat.

After looking through about eighteen thousand mildly amusing or just plain dumb mug sayings, he found one that he thought was fitting enough,

"Wanna' go outside? Never mind. The internet's back up."

Eren had mentioned being on the track team when he was in high school, but confessed he wasn't much for that type of thing. And, hey, internet, so it was at least playing up his geeky job.

. . .

Since he was out and about and realized he hadn't gotten anything for anyone else, he picked up some booze for Hanji and Erwin (he was serious; they didn't want much of anything else). Petra he got a dainty necklace, and Rico he got some artsy shit because neither of them expected anything of him, but both did more than they could ever know to keep him sane and deserved at least something.

Christmas shopping complete, he found himself in front of an animal shelter.

Well, not an animal shelter - the animal shelter. At least, he was almost positive this was the one Eren worked at. A quick, curious peek inside showed no one he recognized, but after another beat of awkward loitering he realized what he was doing and all but ran down the street in his haste to get away.

. . .

He was lucky enough to have the day off, and, as much as he appreciated not being alone every second of every day, there were a lot of times he appreciated his solitude just as much, if not more.

Which was why he was particularly irritated to hear two boisterous voices from inside.

"You better start forking out for the rent at this point," he growled as he plowed into the door, finding the two morons draped over his couch and surprisingly sober considering their current giggly state.

"Levi!" Hanji bounced up excitedly. "Tomorrow's the day! The big date! The one that - "

"Shut the fuck up," he cut them off, stalking to his bedroom to drop his things off.

"Soo, did you get him something?" They asked, peering behind him and resting their head on his shoulder.

"No," he lied. Not that he knew why he bothered - they could always tell when he was lying, it was just up to them whether or not they called him on it.

They called him on it.

"You di-id!" They sing-songed, grimy hands pawing the bags and trying to get a peek.

"Oi, your shit is in there too so sto - "

"You got me something? Oh, Levi!" This ended in a bear hug that had his ribs all but cracking.

"Of course I fucking got you something. I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't."

They just ruffled his hair like he was some kind of goddamn puppy then bounded back into the living room. He puttered around in his room for a few minutes; changed into clothes more comfortable and spent a few minutes wrapping the presents to psych himself up for going out there and facing the socialization.

In fact, by the time he was done he was greatly considering not even wandering to the living room at all and had even gone as far as to flop on his bed when there was a polite knock at his door.

Must be Erwin.

Hanji would just barrel in like they owned the goddamn place.

He didn't respond, pretending that he didn't hear it.

"Levi? Are you all right?"

"Yeah?" He questioned the concern.

"You've been in there a while."

"And you've been out there a while. What the hell are you here for anyway?"

"Can I come in."

Why the fuck not. Make it a party. Bring all the cool kids and the hot drugs and maybe a stripper or -

Erwin was pushing the door open and a pair of bushy eyebrows peeked over the edge before stupidly blue eyes followed.

"We're here because we thought you might need support for tomorrow."

"You are not coming," he stated flatly, horrified by the idea of their presence.

"That's not what I was getting at," Erwin replied hastily, going as far as to hold his hands up in defense.

Levi just pushed himself to a sitting position and stared expectantly.

"It's just we thought you might be nervous is all," he was sitting down on the edge of the bed now, everything about his actions light except for the heavy seriousness of his eyes.

"I know you haven't had the best track record with people in the past, and I know you have a lot of baggage that still - "

"For fuck's sake, you're not my shrink. I know I'm a basketcase and I know I have more issues than Sports Illustrated, but I'm not a kid going to his first date. It's not even a date in the first place," he added, though it sounded weak and stupid even to his own ears.

"But you are worried," Erwin pressed, ducking his neck so Levi would meet his eyes, but he wouldn't - he refused - because then this might really turn into some kind of therapy session.

"I mean it would be unnatural to not have at least a little healthy anxiety," he shrugged because he'd shoved any fears down as far down the shitter as he could, and now that they were being exposed they were all swirling out full force and shit, maybe he couldn't do this and -

"You deserve to be happy."

"I am happy," Levi insisted as though it were obvious, gestured loosely around his room to showcase all of the shit he had to keep him that way.

A dubious eyebrow was aimed at him paired with a rueful smile. "You're living. And you have the necessities and even a few friends but I wouldn't say you're happy."

"And you would know, would you? What it is that makes a person happy?"

Actually, if anyone were to know that stuff it would be none other than his Captain fucking America so he couldn't entirely discount what he was saying like he wanted to.

"I know enough. Hanji says they've never seen you as carefree as you are with Eren. Like some heavy weight has been lifted," he added because apparently he was now a goddamn poet.

"Make it sound gay."

Which only got him a 'look' because, yeah, it was kind of gay.

"I just - I know you've been through a lot. And I know you don't want to talk about it," Erwin defended hastily in the next breath. "But I also know that you don't think you deserve to be happy and I want you to know that you do. Isabel and Farlan would want you to be happy, too."

"Just had to fucking bring them the the fuck up, didn't you?" Levi bit out harshly, launching off the bed and twitchily gazing out the window, fingers playing with the blinds.

"I thought it would help make my point."

"You're a manipulative piece of shit, you know that?"

"Only if it's for a good cause," he responded quietly.

. . .

Levi felt pretty okay about his gift.

Right up until the moment he was walking up to the cafe.

Because it was then he noticed the plethora of mugs for sale and it really hit him how fucking stupid a goddamn mug was to get as a gift. Impersonal as shit and cliche as shit and just shit altogether. Maybe he had time to buy something else before Eren -

Ah. No. There the messy brat was, waving him over vigorously then smiling and walking over to him instead.

"I'm surprised you're punctual, brat," Levi commented. It sounded smooth and stable and overall not like he was about to die - which he was, about to keel over right then and there - but there was an edge to it that he hoped wasn't picked up on.

"I beat you, didn't I?"

The kid not only rolled with the punches, he punched back.

"Did you order yet?" Levi asked, nose taking in the seasonal scent of coffee and peppermint and some spice he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"No, I wanted to wait for you," Eren answered, already heading over to the barista anyway.

Levi took one look at the chalkboard menu before realizing he had no idea what the hell any of it meant, so he just requested a plain coffee.

"Noo," Eren bemoaned suddenly, whipping around and looking ready to shake him by the shoulders. "You can't just buy some boring old coffee! We can make that any time!"

Oh, fuck, there was that we again.

"Here, let me choose for you. Do you like a lot of sweet things?"

"No. I like things bitter like my soul," the cashier chuckled more at that than Eren, though he was sure it had more to do with his intense concentration over finding a suitable drink for him more than not finding it humorous.

A sort of whiny groan stretched out from his mouth, lingering in the air so long Levi thought he might pass out due to lack of oxygen, but finally he ended with,

"You're killing me here."

"I'm fine with just a coffee," he tried again. Pointlessly. It went fabulously unnoticed and he decided to spend his time swiveling his head and really taking in the place.

Cozy was the first word that came to mind; it was dimly lit but not uncomfortably so. Light, tasteful music was playing to break up the dullness of silence but was anything but overpowering. And the tables were cramped in an intimate way, but now so much so that it felt crowded to the brim.

It was nice - was maybe considered hipster these days, but that idea sickened him because people liked coffee shops far before the idea of a fucking 'hipster' came about.

"Here," Eren was thrusting something into his hands and gently pulling his wrist along with him in clear invitation to follow.

"I didn't pay - " he was cut off by an eye roll and an, "I invited you, dumbass, of course I'd pay."

Which made it really seem like a date so he halted his tracks and became an immovable object to Eren's unstoppable force.

This mini tug of war lasted a solid ten seconds before Eren realized the problem and turned around to face him. A quick look at Levi's impassive expression and he wrenched away his hand like he was burned and closed the minimal gap between them.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab you like that. I'm not trying to force you to do anything or make you - "

"Oi, calm the fuck down, brat," Levi interjected. "I just don't like the idea of owing you. How much was this shit?" His arm raised the drink to help his point.

"No, really, I want to - "

"Well so do I."

Resolution was present in both of them, and he figured if he didn't give they would literally spend the rest of the goddamn day locked in some staring battle, but, to his surprise, Eren caved first and rubbed his neck sheepishly as he stared at the ground.

"How about you pay next time?"

Next time. Aw, shit. Next time.

He really needed to get out of this whole thing before it was too late, before potential got the bright idea to rear its ugly head and sink its teeth into his soul before ripping it to shreds.

But, even with those reservations, he still found himself saying, "Fine. Next time."

That got the kid to flash a dazzling smile, his eyes twinkling somehow brighter and it hit Levi all at once that a tanned, perfect, beautiful motherfucking angel was in front of him.

Levi was known for making regretful choices despite his mantra of not regretting any choices he made because it wouldn't exactly fix them; and he could already feel the regret coming because this was a bad fucking idea and yet here he was, closely following an excitable brat ready to exchange Christmas gifts.

They'd barely sat down before Eren was badgering him about whether or not he liked the drink - and if he liked it a lot? Or if he hated it, they could always buy something else -

"If you shut the hell up for two seconds I could take a sip and let you know," he grumbled with no actual disdain, his tongue burning because it was still a touch too hot.

It was actually, "Decent," he shrugged.

"Decent? Just 'decent'?" Eren echoed incredulously, leaning forward and wrenching it out of his hands only to chug some from the top - which, okay, fucking disgusting-ass brat with his germs.

Almost dropped it because it was fucking hot and loudly complained about how all of his "tastebuds had been burnt off" and he "may never taste anything again".

Once he was done darting up to the counter and asking for some ice water, and once he was seated and breathing like a normal person again, he finally all too casually commented,

"Well. I, for one, think that's the best goddamn drink I've ever had."

"Needs some bourbon," Levi added, taking a larger sip now that it was cooler (seriously; the brat had been carrying on for a solid five minutes, the drama queen). "Sorry, I shouldn't talk about alcohol to those underage."

Eren spluttered for a beat before shooting back, "Being an old man like you I'm surprised you can even have alcohol in the first place!"

He frowned in thought after that, but both knew it didn't make a great deal of sense no matter how you tried to interpret it. Levi knew what he had meant and was feeling uncharacteristically generous so let it drop.

"Well, whatever. It's good and you know it," Eren finally huffed, trying some of his own and moaning in an all too lascivious manner to be decent.

Levi's face felt hot - his whole body felt hot - and he quickly covered that by taking in a mouthful too big and blaming the blush on the 'trauma' of searing off his entire tongue.

"Ha! Now you can't make fun of me for over reacting!" Eren stated triumphantly, pointing at him in a wild gesture and continuing with. "It hurts, doesn't it? Here."

He pushed the ice water over and Levi gratefully took a sip.

"So, anyway," Eren was leaning down and pulling something from his messenger bag and Levi was tomato red all over again because not only was he getting something, he was giving absolute fucking shit.

Seriously. A goddamn, fucking, ugly-ass, unoriginal-ass, stupid-ass -

"Here," a package was thrust at him, and Eren's smile was faltering and nervous but no less shining.

Levi slowly slid his finger between the tape and the wrapping, impressed by how neat it was and realizing that his wasn't even wrapped all that nicely. He liked things neat and clean and people thought he had OCD but he really didn't; at least not with anything crafty because he was literally the most shit person at anything crafty. Like gift wrapping.

So he had a crap gift and a crap package and he thought maybe after this not-date he would play in traffic and get hit by a bus.

He hadn't even peeled back the first slit and Eren was fidgeting and making little noises.

"What?" Levi bit out.

"I know you're old but do you have to be so slow?" Eren lamented theatrically.

"Fine."

And he went even slower.

It was probably a solid five minutes before he had fully unwrapped the box, each square inch of the snowmen decoration in perfect condition, and he was so absorbed in Eren's annoyance that it took him several beats to realize he was actually looking at the gift.

Tea.

But not any tea.

Some of that fancy-ass loose leaf tea he had been specifically eyeing up for the better part of six months but couldn't justify splurging on because,

"This shit's expensive." He commented, staring at it blankly and angling it in different facets of the light as if he would suddenly yield something different.

"I mean, it - "

"No." He said firmly. "No, no, Eren, I can't take this," he added, hastily shoving it towards the kid as though it were toxic.

"Levi, I - !"

"You spent like - like - " he was blanking on actual monetary value but he knew it was " - like a shitton of money on this! These are worth more than my life!"

"Nothing's worth more than your life," Eren told him solemnly but he kept spouting off how much money it was and now he felt even worse because he'd gotten a mug.

"Okay, Levi, wait. I didn't want to seem like an asshole so I wasn't going to tell you, but I didn't buy that."

"Eren, you can't - " Wait, what?

"Wait, what?" He sounded really stupid, but, hey, he was starting to feel pretty stupid so may as well keep up the trend.

"I didn't buy that," Eren repeated with a sheepish smile, starting to rub the back of his neck. "A coworker gave it to me and, I mean tea's all right, but I knew how much you liked it and thought you'd appreciate it a helluva lot more."

So he felt more than stupid. Felt even smaller than he normally was and the idea of the whole 'hit-by-a-bus' thing was just shy of heavenly.

Not only had he acted like an ass, he made Eren feel like an ass by admitting he was re-gifting. Levi sure as hell didn't mind, but he knew a lot of people would and it was probably a hard thing to confess.

Levi gaped openly at the teas, soul crushing and heart pounding and breaths stuttering.

"Well, I'm an ass," he broke the silence only after several seconds' worth.

That earned him a chuckle because, somehow, Eren wasn't actually offended.

"And here I thought that's what I was. I know recycling is the trend and all, but I don't think that applies to gifts," his grin lopsided and his eyes sincere, he gestured loosely to the box in Levi's limp hand.

Levi shook his head, a smile tugging at his own lips and soon he was chuckling along with Eren.

At least they were both idiotic assholes.

Together.

Shut the fuck up, insecurities, he was damn well going to enjoy this.


	8. Chapter 8

As it turned out, his insecurities didn't heed his command and after the laughter subsided Eren was poking his nose into the unopened parcel intended for him.

The lame motherfucking mug.

And it hit Levi like a train all over again how stupid he was for thinking anyone would like some dumb-ass mug that -

"You got me something, too?" Eren asked, a hopeful spark in his eye that clearly said he was trying not to be too excited but couldn't help it.

"Yeah," Levi responded lamely because - like his mug - he was lame.

"You didn't have to - "

"It's not much. It's not much at all," he added for clarification. Maybe if he sold it as the trash it was it would seem like high-class garbage instead of low-class sewage.

"Oh that's fine. I mean I didn't pay a cent for yours, so..." he trailed off good-naturedly.

Levi tried to hand it over - he did - but when Eren's fingers closed around the edge his decided not to let go.

Eren tugged a bit, but Levi's grip didn't falter.

"Um, Levi?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to give it to me, or - ?"

Levi nodded, "Sure."

But his fingers wouldn't cooperate and he was maintaining a death grip like no other.

This was such a bad idea and he was such an idiot and why -

A particularly forceful jerk had it tumbling out of his hand and into Eren's, who looked at him once for permission and - once he received a tired but affirmative nod - dug into it with an astounding lack of grace.

He was pretty sure wrapping paper was literally about to fly into the mouth of that chick catty-corner from them, and he knew a shred volleyed into the scoop lights on the walls.

Then he got to the box (managed to tear the cardboard lip in his desire to open it) and wrenched out the mug. The most surprising thing was that he didn't break it in the process.

His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes went from glazed happiness to mild confusion, his lips moving along silently with the words as he read the caption.

Then all perplexity melted off his face and morphed into something too bright, too genuine, to be called something as small as 'happy'.

"This is awesome! I just broke two mugs last week and have, like, zero for company," Eren was prattling on, waving his arms (and the mug and, shit, he really would break it at this rate).

"You know I even got this amazing Garfield travel mug - he's my favorite, you know? - " no, he didn't, but it was good information " - and when I broke it a couple months ago I ordered two more because I knew I'd break it again. Not two weeks later I dropped the backpack it was in - which was how I broke the first one, mind you - and I'm too nervous to use the spare. It's kinda just sitting in my cupboard, though I'm thinking of making a shrine for it."

He ended with a light laugh and a "gee, I'm so stupid" motion, and Levi offered an amused smile in return.

"You seem like the type of clumsy brat to do just that."

"You're so old everything you hold shakes anyway - "

"You should respect your elders."

"Don't you know? My generation is trash," this kid. He was golden. Smart and funny and cute and witty and beautiful and cute and Levi thought his heart might actually burst.

. . .

Somehow his deathly hot drink had chilled to a bland room temperature, and it wasn't until he tried taking a sip that it hit him how long they'd been idly talking about basically nothing.

Eren seemed to reach the same conclusion because he glanced at his phone and leapt to his feet.

"Shit, I was supposed to meet up with Mikasa almost ten minutes ago! Man, she's going to kill me," he groaned, smacking his forehead and chugging the rest of his drink.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry to cut this short," he started apologizing but Levi cut him off,

"It's fine. We have been gossiping like old ladies for quite a while now."

The kid's brow relaxed, and he nodded mostly to himself.

"Well, hey, I'll text you soon, okay? It was amazing to see you again. We have to do this again sometime?"

It was phrased more like a question and, after a beat of hesitation, Levi nodded,

"Yeah. Definitely."

"Yeah, okay. Definitely," Eren repeated, beaming like the goddamn sun and shoving his mug into his bag. "And seriously, thanks for the mug. It's awesome! Merry Christmas, Levi!"

He stepped forward as if for a hug then paused, and - just like last time - offered his fist.

. . .

Levi found himself staying in the coffee shop even after the kid had left, quietly sipping on his coffee shit (it really was fantastic) and people watching. Considering it was prime business time, the cafe wasn't particularly busy; however he mused that had something to do with the hurried last-minute Christmas gifting he saw several people racing down the streets for.

A light snow was beginning to fall, but, rather than obscuring the entire street and turning into a pesky slush, it simply offered a gentle blanket to the bleak gray.

Vibrating against his thigh jerked him out of his wandering thoughts, and a quick glance told him Hanji was already sending nagging texts his way. Rolling his eyes, he took advantage of the idea that they didn't know Eren had left and likely wouldn't badger him too much lest they interrupt 'sexy times'. At least, that's what he thought they had called it the night before.

More ringing - a call this time - but it was Erwin's number. Being the saner of his friends, Levi decided he wouldn't actually call without a good reason, and answered after a beat.

"What?" It was sharp, but not malicious.

"Is Eren there? We're shutting down the museum early, and if you need a ride I can pick you up," Erwin explained.

Bless him, because the snow had turned from a delicate coating to an onslaught of white and walking home would probably mean another case of pneumonia.

"Yeah, you can pick me up," he responded in a relieved exhale.

"You all right?" Eyebrows questioned the weary tone, or something else equally as stupid and overbearing.

"I'm fine, asshat. Just pick me up," he added before hanging up the phone and chugging the last of his drink. A second later he was tossing the paper cup in the trash and waiting outside.

. . .

Had he not been so acutely familiar with Eyebrows' car, the painfully slow, creepy, stalker drive-by would have raised his hackles. Instead, he rolled his eyes and stalked towards the car, landing roughly in the passenger seat with a huff.

It only took one glare for Erwin to shrug and say, "I didn't want to pass by you is all."

Levi rested his now freezing hands against the dashboard vent and settled his ass more comfortably in the luxurious heated seats.

Only when he had relaxed into the warmth did the manipulative bastard try to start up conversation.

"So. How'd it go?" The words were innocent, and even the tone held little ulterior intent. But the sidelong glace, quirked eyebrow, and dimpled cheek screamed of mischief.

"I don't know," Levi answered, stuffing his hands under his armpits and staring out the window, noting that of course now the snow chose to lighten up.

Erwin just hummed in response, gave him a few moments of peace to lull him into false sense of security.

"So do you think he liked your gift?"

"I don't know."

Which wasn't entirely false; the kid seemed to thoroughly regard it as the best thing in the world, but no one could be that sincerely hyped over some goddamn mug, so Levi wasn't positive that -

"Did you like his gift?"

"It was all right," he muttered after a few seconds of pondering what to say. Conversations with Erwin always felt like a ticking time bomb. No, more like a spider waiting for a fat, juicy fly to come along and get gobbled up.

Manipulative bastard.

"What'd he give you?"

"I don't - " know almost poured from his lips, but that would bring trouble. Would cause him to switch from this suspiciously vague questions right into his true volley.

"Some tea," he offered instead, using a cough to cover his earlier blunder.

"Sounds nice."

Now Levi hummed in agreement, trying not to fidget too much under the intense weight of knowing Erwin was manipulating him and not doing a damn thing about it. He darted his eyes over to the big buffoon, casually eyeing the road like a responsible driver and casually not looking his direction.

More time passed in silence, and Levi realized just how Erwin was playing this. Trying to make him speak to fill the empty air, purposely leaving the radio off and keeping his own mouth shut.

Two could play that game. Levi had no problem with silence so -

Erwin knew he had no problem with silence. Knew he preferred it.

That couldn't be his scheme then, could it? Levi wiped off the layer of sweat on his palms against his sides and chewed on the inside of his cheek. This was terrible. He knew Erwin was up to something, but couldn't for the life of him figure out what.

"Levi?"

"What?" He barked, all but jumping out of his goddamn skin.

"You seem tense."

He grunted, shooting his eyes over to Erwin's but receiving no acknowledgment.

"Did it not go well?"

"It went fine."

"You seem tense."

"So I've been told."

Erwin hummed back, and maybe that was his ploy because one more cycle of this pointless questions and dodgy answers and goddamn humming and Levi might actually barrel roll into the street to end the pain.

"Where's Hanji?" Levi asked, hoping (but not for a second believing) that a change of subject would ease the situation.

"They just said they had stuff to do."

Erwin obviously knew more, but wasn't budging.

Which was suspicious as fuck, but so was this whole goddamn car ride so Levi ignored it in favor of pursuing his current career path of avoiding shit.

"Did you tell Eren tomorrow was your birthday?" Erwin asked after a near eternity of blessed silence.

"Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Most people tell their friends when their birthday is coming up."

"I wouldn't say he's my friend, idiot. And, seriously, why the fuck would I do that?"

Erwin sighed in that way he reserved for when Levi was being particularly dense or socially inept, which prompted another,

"What?"

"Well did he say when his birthday was?"

Yeah, March 30.

"I don't know."

"Well it's probably not coming up or an international holiday, something most people would mention even to acquaintances," Erwin pointed out with an almost chastising tone.

"That's all the more reason not to tell him. He already got me a Christmas present; I don't need something for my birthday too."

Eyebrows seemed a little disappointed by the lack of details - other than the unhelpful "some tea" - on the Christmas present which was satisfying.

"Hanji and I don't always get you two separate things," he decided on instead.

"That's because you're assholes," Levi groused back, huddling further into the seat and trying to will his apartment to appear magically into view so he could be saved from the confines of the car.

Erwin just sighed and, miraculously, let the subject drop.

. . .

Erwin had some shitty Christmas party with idiots like Dawk to go to (he'd tried coaxing Levi into going at least a dozen times and always got a variation of 'fuck you'), so he dropped Levi off at his place and sped off with a gentle reminder that he and Hanji would come for dinner around six the following night.

Levi grunted his understanding and thanks, cramming his key into the door and greeting Petra as always. Walked towards her and pulled out the small box with the smaller necklace.

"Oh, Levi, you didn't have to - "

"You folks have done enough for me; don't worry about it," Levi cut off gruffly, not quite meeting her twinkling eyes or blushing cheeks.

A few splutters shot out before she offered a composed, "Well thank you very much."

He walked away before she could say much else, but didn't miss the gentle, "Merry Christmas! And happy birthday!"

Levi flopped a hand in her direction as acknowledgment before hauling his ass upstairs to collapse into his couch, suddenly feeling weighed down with burdens that had no right to be there.

He flicked on the tv without paying attention to what was playing, and let himself fade away. His phone buzzed to life, a message from the brat blinking on its screen.

But he just set it on the table and rolled his back to it, burying his face in the cushion of the couch and trying to go to sleep.

. . .

Considering how drained he'd suddenly felt at fucking four o'clock or when-the-fuck-ever he'd managed to get himself home, he was beyond awake now that it was dark outside, only the sounds of church bells or carolers or some festive drunkards with their windows down at the red light piercing the deafening silence of his apartment.

He still hadn't replied to Eren, suddenly overwhelmed with the whole situation and too baffled by his own stupid insecurities to deal with an excitable brat stuffed to the brim with potential. Too frustrated with his own neurosis that refused to let him let a good thing be a good thing without bringing up all of the shit from the past, unclogging it like a plunger - only instead of letting it all go down, it just marinated sickeningly in the bowl.

Scrubbing a hand over his eyes and through his hair and into his undercut, he tried to block everything out; tried to shut down the voices reminding him he was a worthless piece of trash who broke everything he touched, who couldn't protect anyone and deserved every single motherfucking hit he ever took - deserved a thousand more - and instead of Eren, deserved some abusive asshole to put him in his place and keep him from rising to decency.

It was all in his head, of course. A collection of memories morphing into a series of conversations he could very well be having right then. He turned the TV up louder, tugged his blanket closer and reminded himself he'd gotten over this. That all of his demons were in the past and needed to stay there.

He wasn't sure how long he had spent on the couch, wasn't sure how long he was struggling to crawl out of that murky depth of sorrow and regret for the life he never had - for the life they never had. When he finally pulled himself somewhat together, he staggered to the kitchen and took a bottle from the top shelf with the intent to get shitfaced.

It was his birthday by now, and he felt fucking entitled.

. . .

Some goddamn fucking asshole had their car alarm blaring, wrenching him out of what wasn't a particularly restful slumber, but one that had him dead to the world and was blessedly nothing but empty blackness.

Peeling an eye open - scratching at the gunk pooled in the ducts and muttering about how gross it was and how gross he was because it hit him like a goddamn train how fucked up he was.

Sitting uselessly on his couch and getting stuck in the lowest points of his life all because he was freaked out from that goddamn fucking potential and now he wasn't sad, wasn't frustrated, wasn't even tired; he was just angry and pissed off and whatever else described that feeling where a person can't decide if they want to kill everyone else or just themselves to save the trouble of figuring it out. It was definitely better for Eren to get away now than have to deal with what Hanji would diagnose as legitimate depression - maybe a splash of something akin to PTSD - but was little more than being pathetic in general.

Heaving out a spew of hot air, he stumbled off from the couch - was still wearing what he wore to that stupid coffee shop and somehow found his way to the bathroom before heaving out approximately twenty pounds of acid and chunks of eggs.

His hand absently rose to swipe at the lace of saliva gravity was trying to splash on the ground, and his nose was sucking back some loose snot. One second he was in yesterday's get-up and the next he was buck-ass naked, letting cold water stream down his goose-pimpled back and resting his forehead against the tile.

He hadn't texted Eren back yet, despite getting at least two more texts (that he was aware of), and that part of him reminded himself it'd be a grand idea to just cut off all ties right then and there.

Save the treasure from the trash and all that jazz.

Because Eren, see, this kid was a fucking treasure and needed to be treasured and someone as fucked up as Levi couldn't do that for him, not the right way. He'd push him away and taint him and give him stupid gifts like a mug that the kid would pretend to like because he's such an angel; and Levi would be left taking cold showers and listlessly banging his head against the wall, hard enough to leave a dull throb but light enough to avoid drawing blood or bruises.

He always got especially moody on his birthday; was always reminded of his mother trying so hard to get her pimp to give her just a few extra bucks to spend on her little boy. Was always reminded of the guilt that later weighed on him once he was old enough to understand just how much she'd sacrificed to get him that stupid bear, or that ugly shirt - the guilt that was doubled or tripled of fucking quadrupled because she was dead, and there was no way to thank her, never mind repay her.

Was always reminded of Kenny, on a good day ruffling his hair and spouting off some half-hearted insult like "another wasted year of life" but giving him a new shiny knife, or some cool lock-pick set. On a bad day getting wasted and blaming him for Kuchel's death because if it hadn't been for him, his sister would have had more money to get herself the proper medicine.

Was always reminded of Isabel and Farlan and how they tried so hard to bake him a cake and frost it with squiggly, illegible letters and thrust some new towels under his nose because they knew he liked things clean and wanted him to be able to wash his body and dry off in ultra luxurious comfort.

It got easier when Hanji and Erwin came along - he'd be fine by the time they rolled in for dinner - because they always tried so goddamn hard to make his day special and make him feel loved and not alone for once in his fucking life. But they had family and they had friends and they had loved ones to spend a majority of their day with before coming over to visit his sorry ass.

Right about then he was hit with the intense desire to call someone - to call Eren - and hear his stupidly cheerful voice as he babbled about how he and Mikasa and Armin were spending Christmas while Levi lived vicariously through him, wondering what it was like and reminding himself the kid already had good people in his life and didn't need someone -

For fuck's sake, grow a pair, he told himself adamantly with a particularly hard slam against the wall (ignored that the words sounded suspiciously like Kenny).

The water was finally starting to heat up, and he spent the rest of his shower scrubbing at his skin. Not so much to scour the memories away, but to surface a pain that made forgetting his worries easier.

He wandered around his apartment in a tshirt and sweats, white bandanna on his hair and another over his mouth as he did a power clean to make him feel more at ease, more in control. By the time he was done with his second sweep through and second cup of coffee following his first cup of tea, he felt like his old self.

After getting himself yet another mug of Earl Gray, he plopped himself on the couch and felt about three thousand times better than he had in maybe ever when he saw a blurb notifying him of a new message.

It was Eren - of course it was - and he'd sent a picture of himself holding a cup of coffee.

Using that stupid-ass mug Levi had gotten him.

The caption read: Your my hero. I wouldn't have had morning coffee without you;)

Levi felt like he might actually die, though it was an unfamiliar feeling of bashful happiness at the stupid brat's stupid face and stupid message. He buried his smile in his mug despite the fact no one was there to see it anyway.

After a few beats of just staring at Eren's endlessly green eyes, he typed back a simple: *You're

It didn't take long for the reply to vibrate obnoxiously against the wood of the coffee table, and Levi saw that it was a grumpy face and a grammar nazi.

Another small smile tried to tug at his lips - which he hid in a sip of tea that left him choking because he was a goddamn idiot who could survive bringing a knife to a gun fight but not taking a drink - and he was left wondering how mere hours before he had felt so helplessly lost when there was someone right there, waiting to guide him into the type of light he'd never been able to dream of hoping for.

* * *

Eren's dropping his Garfield mug is a true story and I still have that stupid-ass thing lurking in my closet because I'm too scared to use it if I'm just going to drop it again :')


	9. Chapter 9

Eren kept telling Levi that he was starting to do something else - eat, open presents, greet another guest, or listen to another story - and that he probably wouldn't reply to much of anything, yet every time Levi answered back, he was met with a buzz signaling the brat's response.

It battled most all of the negative feelings, though a minor surge of guilt kept telling him that he was taking away precious time from Eren and dragging him down. He even kept badgering the kid to really just say goodbye for the day, to really put his phone down for more than two seconds and help out Mikasa with the dishes, or Armin decorate the gingerbread house.

(And, fuck, this dork still made gingerbread houses.)

It wasn't until Hanji came bounding in like it was actually their apartment that he finally stated he wasn't going to be responding to his shitty texts anymore because he now had two morons of his own to entertain.

The "glad you have someone with you too. I was about to invite you over myself haha" didn't have him swallowing his heart from where it was trying to climb out of his throat and right out the window, didn't have him momentarily speechless even as Hanji prattled on about something.

A present was shoved under his face along with the excited proclamation of, "You have to put this on now!"

Levi rolled his eyes but opened it nonetheless, revealing a horrendous red sweater with a redder faced Santa whose eyebrows were made of fuckingpipe cleaners. The tinsel held together by goddamn staples and goddamn scotch tape told him that Hanji had actually made this stupid piece of shit.

Arguing with them, however, would be a waste of time and energy, so he peeled off his black cardigan - ignored their reaction of covering their eyes with their hands (and peeking through their fingers anyway) and shouting "Indecent exposure!" despite his black tee - and crammed himself into the atrocity.

It was baggy and awkward and scratchy, but something stupid and warm and fuzzy settled into his chest; and he wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world.

Not that anyone could ever know he appreciated Hanji's gesture; even his future self would have to attribute the thoughts to momentary insanity.

Before Hanji could do much more than squeal over what a perfect fit and festive joy his new pullover was, Erwin came gallivanting into his place with steps that would rival a fucking horse.

He was definitely a little tipsy if his too-bright eyes and pink-tinted cheeks were anything to go by, never mind the cheesy grin plastered to his face. A second later and he was towering over Levi, pulling him into a bone crushing hug and cooing out some ass-backwards version of the "happy birthday" song, Hanji joining in just as off-key.

No, worse. Definitely worse.

By the time they tried to start up a second round, Levi shoved the oaf off and pushed passed Hanji, into the kitchen to make sure the cheese had softened to room temperature.

He'd never been able to cook for shit, so instead was opting Christmas dinner to be some wannabe French dish of grapes, bread, and cheese. And wine. Don't forget the wine.

Erwin brought out the wine - some fancy shit because it was Christmas and his birthday so he was damn well going to live it up - and retrieved the glasses. Hanji was in charge of slicing up the bread and was singing motherfucking Jingle Bells.

"If you value your life you'll shut the hell up," Levi warned her darkly, waving the knife he was using to peel off the skin - or whatever the fuck that coating stuff over brie was.

They stopped singing Jingle Bells, instead moving on to "Baby It's Cold Outside", Erwin joining in for the girl part and pitching his voice into a grating falsetto.

Seriously, how the fuck had he been feeling so hopeless when he had nerds like these to come bellow Christmas carols and get drunk with? He pretty much had it all, if he were honest with himself.

(Though he was rarely honest because admitting something that dangerous was practically inviting fate to fuck shit up.)

Food prepared and wine already half-drunk ("Don't worry, I brought more"), they meandered their way out to the living room and turned on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer because it was playing and Hanji had a fucking hard-on for the Abominable Snowman.

It wasn't until they'd settled down and watched most of the movie - in uncharacteristic silence on all counts - that he considered half of the point of their even being there.

"I forgot your stuff in the bedroom," he muttered, hauling himself up after cramming a piece of bread smothered with cheese into his mouth.

"Dat ass is the only present I need," Hanji cackled - complete with an indecent slap.

"One of these days," he muttered under his breath as he flipped them off, lowkey considering locking himself in his bedroom to spare himself.

He didn't.

He grabbed their poorly wrapped booze - no, really, scraps of scotch tap littered the surface of wrinkled, mutilated snowflakes - as well as the smaller almost decently wrapped gifts he'd picked up forever ago and all but forgotten about.

The first thing Erwin said was, "Oh, good, maybe we won't even have to break into my stash."

"Psshhh," he saw Hanji's spit flying and had to take another drink because he was too sober for that shit. "We'll be drinking it all, no worries!"

They wrenched theirs out of his hand and tore some of the paper from the top - didn't even unwrap it to see what it was - just began chugging like their life depended on it.

His friends were weird.

Erwin, on the other hand, cradled the opened bottle of wine like it was his child before slowly taking sips from it in a manner that was more like gentle kisses than actual drinking. Levi just collapsed in between the two and ate some more grapes, only then realizing that he hadn't actually eaten anything the whole day.

"Oo, you got us something else, too?" Hanji beamed, paws already darting towards the other two parcels.

He swatted them away and deadpanned, "It's my birthday so I got myself some things to unwrap."

Hanji's face fell and eyes watered, and he couldn't tell if they were that drunk already or if they were just pulling his leg.

"That's so sad! My poor baby Levi wraps presents for himself so - " they hiccuped and, yeah, they were just being an ass. " - so he has something to open up on his birthday!"

They were petting his head and Erwin was rubbing his neck and suddenly he started giggling like a five year old and every time he'd start to calm down one of the other two would join his bout of insanity. Their blubbering heap went from sobs to laughs to sobs because of laughs.

"Thanks guys. I needed that," he murmured softly, wiping at the stray tears trying to leak out of his eyes.

What he did not need was their action of enveloping him in a suffocating bear hug that left him on the verge of dying due to lack of oxygen.

"Well, we got you stuff, too!" Hanji announced as they shoved another package under his nose, Erwin's soon joining them.

Levi passed his other ones out too, though they insisted he shred through his own first. Still wearing that lame-ass (heart-warming) sweater from Hanji, he slowly worked through the layers of immaculate paper (Erwin) to reveal a thick sketch book.

"Erwin, I - "

"There's more," he handed over another rectangular package which he opened to find a pack of professional art pencils - both colored and graphite - and some paints.

"I know you said you can't create something beautiful, but I think you should try," Erwin was saying but Levi wasn't paying much attention, too busy running his fingers along the gloss of the brush and the smooth coarseness of the paper.

"It doesn't have to be grand, but you spend too much time sitting alone watching bad TV," it was said lightly, but no one was stupid enough to miss the somberness of the statement.

"Thanks," he swallowed thickly, still mesmerized by the set. It was so immaculate - too immaculate for someone like him -

He stopped himself there, imagined Isabel's excitement and Farlan's encouragement the last time he'd tried to draw something. It had failed spectacularly, but their reactions pushed him to keep going. He hadn't thought about even attempting to create art - despite how much it surrounded him - in actual years.

Lately things seemed to be shooting up, seemed to be laying out a fresh slate for him. Maybe this time he'd succeed.

"This makes mine seem pretty lame," Hanji commented sheepishly once everyone had oo-ed and ah-ed enough.

He shook his head in dismissal of the remark, finding a poorly sewn together quilt made of misshapen patches of plaid.

It was perfect.

"This is perfect," he told them sincerely, flopping it out - knocking off a piece or two of bread - and pleased that it covered the three of them well considering Erwin's hulking mass alone.

"You mean it?"

Usually those types of comebacks were sarcastic, were playful in at least some manner. But this one was painfully genuine, was seeking assurance that their clearly home-made atrocity shit-stain of a blanket was good enough for him and somehow that it made it all the more meaningful; left him wanting to throw out everything single other covering he had if it would make them realize he loved it beyond normal reason.

"It's perfect, Shitty Glasses," he reiterated, burrowing into it so his nose was buried and only his eyes and bangs peeked out.

Their worried features slackened into a loose grin that reminded him far too much of a dog, and they wrapped their arms around him in a tight hug and wished him a "happy birthmas" once again.

Pleasantly warm from the wine and the quilt and some sappy shit like friendship, Levi decided this was maybe the best birthday he'd ever had and wasn't sure if he wanted to drink any more and forget even a single detail of the night.

Hanji tore into their present next, squealing over the Nikola Tesla key-chain (which launched them into a brief speech on how underrated Tesla was and what a jerk Edison was) and drooling over the "According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution" t-shirt.

Erwin, on the other hand, brooded over his eyebrow stencil.

Hanji thought it was as hilarious as he did.

However, the blonde buffoon did greatly appreciate his driving gloves ("You pick me up in this shit weather and don't even have goddamn driving gloves") and a knit hat ("Do you even get cold?") and spent the rest of the night sporting the striped beanie.

He wasn't sure if the other two had his same idea - that more drinking would mean some lost memories - or if they were both just too lazy to emerge from their cocoon of warmth and lean forward for the liquor, but no one touched another drop the rest of the night.

Soon it was getting late enough that It's A Wonderful Life had played twice - on different channels, but Erwin insisted on watching it and who didn't love Jimmy Stewart? They all decided it would be a good break to call it a night, and Levi got up to see them to the door.

They only looked back at him in confusion, Erwin with a small shake of his head and Hanji with a rueful smile, then shoved the furniture away and set up their usual blanket nest of pillows and cushions to sleep in one goddamn big heap.

Levi chuckled to himself, finally pulling off the sweater (because he didn't want the doodads to fall off) and shrugging back into the cardigan he found had gotten wadded up under the couch at some point.

He snuggled into Erwin's chest and Hanji snuggled against his back and, he sighed, remembering when Isabel and Farlan used to do this.

Mused that just because one family faded into black didn't mean another couldn't rise from the light.

. . .

As usual, Levi woke up before the other two drooling and snoring masses, pried himself away from their groping paws and sweaty breaths and shuffled into his room for a change of clothes, then the bathroom for a cleansing shower.

It was a rare but pleasant surprise to not have a pounding headache or squirming insides, and he vaguely considered why they got shitfaced all the time when just getting tipsy had less terrible side effects.

He hadn't been under the hot stream for more than ten minutes when he heard Hanji's tell-tale bumbling around followed almost immediately by a stifled cry of pain as they stubbed their toe or their shin or maybe their goddamn head.

With a sigh, he decided to speed things along and hastily scoured away the rest of the shampoo in his hair, already blindly reaching for a towel even though the shower was still running.

It didn't take long to slip into some clothes and scrub his teeth raw - usually he waited until after breakfast to spare food being tainted with mint, but he had really bad cheese breath that would definitely do more to make him lose his stomach than a hint of wintergreen.

By the time he wandered out to the living room, Erwin and Hanji were both already in his kitchen invading the cupboards and lamenting the lack of 'decent food'.

"Buy your own shit then," he grumbled as he stepped through the doorway, lithely dodging Hanji's barreling hug.

"I brought wine," Erwin pointed out, as if that made his argument valid.

Levi just rolled his eyes, sighing at Hanji's bright suggestion of,

"Wine for breakfast it is! They're grapes and grapes are fruit - "

"Take a fucking breath," Levi huffed, clamping a hand over their mouth.

They slobbered their tongue all over his palm and cackled like a goddamn serial killer when he darted over to the sink to scrub it off.

"You're fucking disgusting," he muttered.

And they were - they really were - but somehow he didn't actually mind.

. . .

Erwin left first, but Hanji followed after him not more than thirty minutes later. Usually Levi insisted on straightening and cleaning and making everything spotless, but the clutter they left behind made his normally stale apartment feel homey, and he couldn't bring himself to do much other than the few dishes so as not to attract ants.

And, okay, by the time he got back out to the living room he moved his furniture back and cleared away some wrapping paper, but he left his new drawing supplies in plain view and swaddled himself like a goddamn infant in Hanji's quilt, sparing an amused smile at a particularly bunched patch where it was clear they'd tried to backtrack and fix their mistake, only to make it worse.

The sketch pad drew his attention, and he almost considered dabbling in it; but he knew it would probably only frustrate him right then, and he wanted to enjoy his current peace.

. . .

He had spent most of the day doing literally nothing - not even half-paying attention to the TV. He just sat there in his quilt and cuddled into his couch and relishing in the solitude that was gracefully tranquil.

It didn't last forever; soon he couldn't handle the toothpaste he knew Hanji had spit onto his faucet - why it was too much coordination for a lab technician who dealt with terminally specific details every day to just simply not hit his goddamn faucet was beyond his understanding.

Erwin usually left his stupid blonde hairs all over his sink, and he was sure there was some amount of spit seeping further and further into his carpet every waking moment he spent sitting on his couch.

Sighing wearily, he hauled his ass off of the couch and began moving his furniture once again, this time to run a vacuum and some baking soda - pro tip baking soda cleans the shit out of everything (literally) - to scrape up whatever microorganisms decided to inhabit his floor.

While the baking soda was killing biohazards, he decided to tackle the bathroom and bleach everything to the point even the paint was eaten away. (He was right, Hanji still couldn't spit worth a damn and Erwin shed more than a golden retriever.) When he was finally done the little tiled room smelled of nothing but bleach, but the only dazzling white that could rival it were Eren's annoying perfect teeth.

Wait, what?

Ahem, well, yeah, anyway, after his shitter was cleaned he worked on sucking up every square inch of the living room before switching to the kitchen and scouring every visible surfaces - and even some of the not so visible surfaces.

His lungs were burning, and his head felt funny, and his fingers were raw, despite the gloves he'd shucked on; and his knees ached, and his shoulders were sore and, and, and -

But it was a good type of pain. A cathartic pain that told of his productivity.

A cathartic pain that reminded him he was still alive in the first place.

* * *

If this wasn't an Ereri fic it'd definitely be an OT3, you feel me?


	10. Chapter 10

A loud buzzing.

A deafening, blaring, thundering, soul-shaking loud buzzing.

Well, okay, it wasn't particularly loud, but that was different when it was Satan's ass-crack of dawn and not even the fucking birds were out chirping their goddamn beaks off. If it ripped you out of a really nice, peaceful, goddamn happy sleep, then it seemed noisier than a fart at a funeral.

He'd barely had time to stretch a pale hand towards it - he noted his arm looked almost ethereal in the dim lighting and wanted to cram it back so he wouldn't be forced to look at it again - when his phone went off once, twice, in quick succession.

"Calm your fucking tits," he muttered darkly, hand making more than one attempt at picking it up before he was successful.

Even though his eyes slammed shut before the screen had been brought to actual life, his retinas were burning and oozing back into his very skull, his eye sockets soon to be empty pits of bubbling gook because of the goddamn brilliance of the goddamn phone.

Several beats worth of watering eyes and mumbled curses (and yelled ones too) left him able to see that it was the brat texting him at - dear God, four motherfucking thirty.

He almost asked what the fuck he even wanted without reading the messages, but before he hit send had the wherewithal to read what the kid had said in the first place.

Hey, we're inviting a couple of friends over for movie night. Wanna come over?

There won't be a lot of people or anything; I'm sure you wouldn't want to hang with a bunch of bratsXD It's just four or five of us right now.

Followed quickly by,

Shit, sorry, I hope I didn't wake you I forget most people don't have my unpredictable hours and actually sleep go back to bed and don't kill me pls

Levi rolled his eyes fondly - no, definitely not fondly - at the final plea, before heaving out a sigh and confronting the previous request.

He was right about one thing: Levi had no desire to hang with a bunch of brats. Even Eren tested his limit (which wasn't really true, but, see, he'd gotten passed avoiding the potential there and was now just straight up denying it), and he doubted he could deal with a veritable colony of teens and twenty-somethings cackling or sobbing or criticizing some movie.

Maybe those characteristics were only present at the movie nights between him and his two idiots, but nevertheless he didn't fancy the idea of experiencing that with strangers.

Though he did kind of owe the kid for giving him some stupid mug and figured it may not actually kill him to drop by.

For, like, a minute.

Then he'd excuse himself on urgent business. It seemed like a fair trade to him; Eren would be graced with his presence yet Levi would be spared overexposure to idiots.

At last he shot back a quick,

You did wake me, shitstain, so be prepared for when I shove my foot up your ass. What time?

Levi had almost snoozed again when the phone shook violently - seriously, just about sprained his wrist with the force. Who was he kidding? That was a lie. He was tired as fuck and delirious from it.

...What time can you shove your foot up my ass?

He had never really understood the whole facepalm thing. Sure, he'd rubbed his temples, or rested his head on his fist, but he didn't much slap his palm to his forehead in frustration because physical pain was the only thing that could ease the emotional turmoil of witnessing honest to god brain damage.

What time is your movie night, stupid

Went his reply after several moments of heavy breathing then relief because that kind of shoved any potential down the drain. (It didn't. It was actually kind of endearing.)

Ooohhh, that makes a lot more sense. I don't know, I think like six-ish? We haven't made all that many plans yet. It'll probably just be us two and Mikasa and Armin and maybe that fucking horseface.

Levi snorted at the disdain for the other kid, answering with a simple, okay, see you then. Some ridiculous happy emoji popped up on his screen and, now that he was fully awake, he slid out of bed and plodded into the bathroom to hop in a scalding hot shower.

. . .

It was closer to 6:15 when Levi found himself huddled in his scarf and texting the brat that he was stuck waiting outside because he'd have to be buzzed in or some shit. As prompt as he always insisted on being, he decided he'd rather be "fashionably late" than deal with the potential awkward small talk of being one of the first guests - small thing or not.

A loud huff and a soft "calm down" had him whipping his head over to the left only to be met with Horseface and that freckle-nosed kid.

This had better be a small goddamn gathering or else this would be the entirety of his appearance.

"That dick is making you wait outside, too?" Jean complained with an extravagant wave, only for Freckles to put a placating hand on his shoulder and say something that was lost in the howl of the wind.

Levi only grunted in acknowledgment to the statement.

Marco rolled his eyes and told Jean that he was being ridiculous, then softened with a small, "I don't understand why you two can't just get along."

It was around then that Eren came barreling through the door, dangerously close to locking himself out in his clumsy haste, and waved them inside.

"Sorry, sorry, I - "

"No one wants your pathetic excuses, douchebag."

"Next time I'll let you freeze to death out there, you ass," Eren snapped back, and Marco got right in between them with a smile and a mollifying,

"What are we watching?"

"Hell if I know," Eren shrugged, gesturing for them to take the lead without really paying attention to what he was doing.

Any absence of mind disappeared the instant he saw Levi, his eyes glowing and his cheeks widening and his whole demeanor perking up.

"Hey, I'm so glad you could make it! I didn't think you'd come," he added seemingly to himself, a crooked smile quirking up half of his face.

"I don't think I can stay long," Levi confessed - well, not so much confessed as prepared. Prepared for a swift exit after a slightly respectable amount of time.

The kid looked crestfallen at that - of course he did because he was tooth-rottingly sweet - but he recovered even quicker, was aiming that stupidly bright grin with his stupidly bright eyes and saying with so much sincerity it left Levi a tad breathless,

"It's nice to see you at all."

Levi blinked awkwardly then averted his gaze; offered a nod that was so brief it may as well have been called an involuntary flinch.

They stayed in their two groups until they reached Eren's apartment, and a spasm of relief washed over Levi when he saw it really was small. Marco was the only unexpected one, while Mikasa and Armin were already lounging on the couch munching on pizza.

"Hey, guys!" Armin greeted exuberantly, in contrast to Mikasa's uninterested nod.

It was moments like that he wondered if he and the girl were related. That muse was usually followed by the horror of being related to Eren's sister and therefore Eren himself, before rational (or insane) thought reminded him they weren't familial blood.

Jean had already shucked off his shoes and was leaving of a trail of clothes - hat, scarf, coat, a mitten here and the other one there - animatedly discussing what they'd be watching. Marco didn't pick up after him, per se, but he did put the mittens together and get everything more out of the way.

"They're fucking by now, right?" Levi murmured with a glance at the two obvious love-birds.

"Ssh!" Eren hushed with a flailing wave downwards, as if the motion could manually lower his volume. "We all know they want to, but so far it hasn't gone anywhere?"

"Straight boy confusion?" He offered, not remembering if Armin had ever elaborated on why they weren't official.

"That's just it! Jean's flaming and Marco, well, he's not really flaming - " that surprised Levi about as much as shit being brown; that is, not at all " - but he's definitely openly into guys, you know? They've been friends since basically forever. There's actually a pool on when they'll get together. You want in?"

He would honestly feel a bit like a pedophile if he were to bet on two young gays getting together - five year difference or not he was old as fuckwhen you counted his mental state - not to mention it was a serious invasion of privacy. At least for someone who knew one as 'Horseface' and the other as 'Freckles' because he hadn't known them long enough to really get used to calling them by their first name.

"Maybe if I get to know them myself," Levi commented and god fucking dammit that was a big ol' invitation for potential because here he was basically whoring himself for more opportunities to spend time with Eren and all of his gay little friends.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Eren's voice was soft, his features smoothed out into something hopeful. If he were any more obvious that he didn't actually give two shits about whether or not Levi joined the pool then leprechauns could easily come flying out of someone's ass.

That really made no sense.

Well, none of this did, so Levi didn't spare much attention on his lack of understanding of metaphors until he realized it was a distraction from thinking about this whole ridiculous thing.

Levi was studiously not looking at Eren - or, more like, was studiously studying the suddenly overwhelmingly interesting loose thread on his glove - and Eren seemed to be dazedly staring at him. Until whatever weird-ass spell was broken by Jean's beligerent,

"Oi, shit-face! Bring in some beer! And Dr. Pepper!"

"All we have is Dr. Thunder!" Eren countered triumphantly, as if that somehow was a comeback fitting of an applause.

Levi rolled his eyes, peeling off his coat and scarf carefully, placing his earmuffs on top only after he had properly folded them on the table in the way that would take up the least space. Eren was watching him again, all doe-eyed and stupid, so Levi just grabbed a six pack and the other soda (fucking Mountain Path like what the fuck even) and stalked into the living room.

All at once he realized the biggest issue here: fitting six people on a three person couch was a spacial thing porn had tried to overcome since the dawn of man. In fact, he was on his way back to the kitchen to put his winter wear back on and spout some shit about "thanks for having me", but Eren pushed his way passed him and Marco was right there and Armin was smiling up at him and leaving would make him feel like ultra-douche.

Heaving out a weary sigh, he scrubbed a hand down his face and pointed out their predicament, deciding to leave out the porn example so he didn't seem like the creepy old perv he probably was.

Armin was the first to pipe up, "Oh, Jean's getting the beanbag chairs."

Because of course this dork had beanbag chairs.

Eren rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly like he always did, and offered Levi his spot on the couch because of course he did.

There was moderate deliberation (okay Eren and Jean were in each others' faces spewing spit) as to who would sit where, but in the end it was Levi, Eren, and Jean on the couch. Armin was comfortably beneath Jean's legs with Marco slumped beside him, while Mikasa was hoarding a beanbag and probably fifteen blankets to make a comfortable nest for herself on Levi's side of the couch.

It was cramped and Levi was beyond self-aware of the fact that if he or the kid took a particularly large breath their bodies would shift and touch, so he was sitting ramrod straight and counting the seconds until the movie was over. Idly, he wished that he'd had more of a voice during the earlier "debate" and either just walked out or, at the very least, insisted on sitting somewhere by himself.

Eren noticed his well-hidden (obvious) discomfort, and asked him about it twice before he got the hint and backed off a little, Jean's ostentatious protest at Eren suddenly being up his ass disrupting the whole movie and earning several harsh "ssh's" from the others.

A few more swigs of beer had him loosening up a little - finally - and he was at least spared any hushing when he asked to be handed another slice of pizza. By now the first movie was over and they flipped on some dumbass chick flick; and he was comfortably buzzed from the alcohol and the food. A warmth settled into his stomach, into his bones, and he chanced a quick gaze at the kid.

With a sigh that was deeming he was being childish and - aw, fuck, Eren looked a little hurt - deciding he was a grown-ass man whose thigh and forearm could touch another grown-ass man without getting cooties, he slackened his stiff posture and made actual contact with Eren.

(He hadn't noticed how tense he'd been until he'd mostly relaxed.)

Eren whipped his head over to his and was gaping openly, but Levi was doing that thing where he pretended not to see and was looking resolutely ahead, vaguely wondering how the hell a rom-com had become a flick that had giant mice tearing through LA.

The TV's glow reflected off of something shiny, making his eyes dart to the left.

Eren's teeth.

It was his fucking teeth that were shimmering in the darkness and, without delving into the potential symbolism of that one, Levi tried not to notice too much when Eren pulled his feet up and settled his toes beneath Levi's thigh.

. . .

Mikasa had fallen asleep at some point (which surprised him?), and Armin and Marco had started leaning on each other out of sheer necessity to battle the gravity trying to drag them down. Jean kept nudging his leg in between them before at last huffing and saying he needed to get 'sleeping beauty' home but 'thanks, this didn't entirely suck'.

And, somehow, despite Levi's intentions of not only leaving but leaving early, Mikasa and Armin bid their goodbyes and Levi was putting on his coat, but all Eren had to do was ask in a small voice, "Stay?"

And, somehow, despite Levi's intentions of getting away from this kid in general, he found himself watching Armin and Mikasa's retreating backs and instead of going with them just stood rooted to the spot.

Soon, he was slipping back out of his coat and following Eren to the living room, his eyes barely glancing at the clock to note it was well passed one in the morning and he had work tomorrow. You know, in case he needed more incentive to ignore what a bad idea this was.

Levi sat in the same corner and Eren casually leaned against the other one, pulling up one of his legs on the cushion only to drape the other one over the ankle. A sitcom had been turned on - wait, maybe it was just that shit of a drama - which filled the otherwise silent room comfortably.

All he really wanted was Hanji's stupid-ass quilt, and then this moment would be perfect.

Just - just being.

It was only fitting, then, that things take a slight turn when Eren shifted so instead of leaning against the couch's arm, he was leaning against Levi'sarm. And, hey, what the hell, he was tipsy and content and there was no harm in some no-homo (very homo) leaning on one another.

"This is nice," Eren murmured with a soft sigh, burrowing further and bringing the blanket up and over them.

Levi hummed in affirmation, shifting to take some pressure off of his muscles and onto the cushions.

And then, all of the sudden (it'd been over an episode), Eren was fidgeting around again and pushing himself up into a seated position and staring at Levi with some unnameable expression.

Not unreadable, mind you. Just something so tender and so gentle that it was foreign enough to Levi that it left him unable to describe it with any word he understood.

He turned his head to really try to decipher the look, to really understand what the fuck was actually happening, and then suddenly Eren was tilting his face upwards and coming closer and, holy shit, Levi felt his warm breaths puffing against his cheek.

They just held that position, exhales mingling and inhales getting sucked up inside each other, and there was something so intimate about sharing such a small amount of oxygen that Levi wished he were more poetic.

And then Eren was tittering forward and towering over Levi - but in the exact opposite of an imposing way; just in an enveloping, almost protective way. Was so close that Levi could count his eyelashes if the lighting was better, could count the pores on his nose or the smooth wrinkles of his lips - and, holy fuck his lips.

Moistened when a pink tongue darted out in what was either nerves or something else that had Levi swallowing his heart back into his chest.

Seriously, what the fuck, Levi, get off of that goddamn couch in that goddamn apartment in that goddamn kid's life.

His heart seemed to realize it couldn't escape through his throat, seemed to be trying the alternative method of bursting through his eardrums as it filled all of his hearing with only its ferocious pounds and their uneven breathing. His muscles were shaking and skin dampening and lungs stuttering and suddenly everything left him in one big whoosh as Eren's lips were on his.

Gentle - so fucking painfully gentle - as he asked for permission to do this (this? What even is 'this'? What are you doing?).

Eren took Levi's freezing as some mild form of consent, not deepening the kiss but continuing it. Simply moved his lips to inhale lightly through the space he created before molding them back down, following up with a teasing nip to his bottom lip.

Levi melted.

Just literally fucking melted.

Everything that had left in that big goddamn whoosh had stayed seeped out and now he wasn't even sure if his heart was beating or his lungs were filling - just knew that Eren was kissing him with a gentleness no one had ever shown him ever and then he was kissing back.

Was melding his own lips to Eren's and swiping a tongue across but never going any deeper, never making it more passionate or -

Holy fucking shit, what the actual fuck, fuck-fuck-fuck -

Levi jerked back so violently he thought his teeth scraped roughly against Eren, knew he was one extra inch from tumbling right over the couch and landing in an inglorious heap.

"I fucked up," he mumbled to himself, voice still hoarse from lack of use, and he thought maybe the only words that came out were 'fucked up', but everything was muffled back into white noise.

Everything except for Eren's reaching hand as he tried to touch him and,

"Mistake. This was such a mistake," he found himself muttering, launching off the couch and pacing. Trying (failing) to soothe his nerves and compose himself to take a solid look at what was going on, what had just happened.

He barely caught Eren's crushed face before it transformed into something too muddled between confusion and anger to be called anything but maybe frustration.

"A mistake, huh? Did I misread all of these signs? God, I was so stupid."

"Hell, what the fuck, what the fuck - "

They were both muttering their own tirades; maybe Eren was multitasking and picking up on his but he sure as hell wasn't picking up on Eren's.

"I - I should go," Levi spoke up, abruptly loud in the muted tone the apartment had taken.

"Yeah, maybe you should," Eren sounded bitter and hurt, and Levi never wanted to be the cause for that type of emotion. Before he could try to clear anything up, Eren was forcefully shoving him towards the kitchen.

"Go. Yeah, just go. Just get out," anger now. That was really all he could zero in on. Maybe Levi was just too freaked out from everything to note anything else, but anger was definitely the prominent factor in his voice, his expressions, his movements.

"Eren, I - "

"Fucked up, I know," he cut off, eyes flashing dangerously and for the first time Levi was a tad frightened of the kid.

Maybe not of, but for, because that wasn't a healthy look on anyone, never mind one usually so bright and -

"Get out!" He shouted, waving his arms, a droplet of saliva landing on Levi's chin.

"Just - just get out," defeated this time, and Levi didn't know how one person could cycle through so many emotions in the course of a minute - especially when he himself just felt numb to everything and had no room for feelings.

"I'll - I'll text you," Levi offered lamely, a crater forming in his stomach because this wasn't how this was supposed to go - this wasn't how -

Eren huffed, picking up his coat seeing as Levi had neglected to thus far. He was irrationally annoyed when his scarf and earmuffs toppled to the floor.

Levi snatched them up so Eren wouldn't have to, and hurried out the door before he had time to put any of it on.

Something broken - some type of terrible, wrecked, strangled sound - erupted as soon as he shut the door, and he tried knocking, tried calling out to make sure Eren was all right, but he got no answer.

Only stuffing himself into his coat because he didn't want to carry it, he shoved his earmuffs and scarf into his pockets and soon burst into the gelid winter air, relishing in the bite at his exposed nose and gnawing at his bare ears.

It would be a long walk home, and all he could think of was the last time he'd left Eren's apartment ended in the kid waiting to drive off until Levi was safely inside.

* * *

What the hell I don't even like conflict and yet I have this goddamn chapter  
But tears = views and I'm actual trash


	11. Chapter 11

None.

That was exactly how much sleep had gotten.

Literally zero seconds of shut-eye, catching z's, getting forty winks - whatever stupid phrase a person decided to use, the point was Levi had exactly no amount of rest the night before.

Not that it was an surprising occurrence; lord knew insomnia kept him up on a good night, nightmares on a bad one. So when the whole, you know,thing happened - he had been far too worked up to even consider sleep.

Had, instead, scrubbed down the whole fucking apartment until his eyes strained and he considered serious damage, and his hands were suffering from mild chemical burns from the cleaners and raw scratches from the scrubbies.

Because he had known this would happen; had known right from the very first time that they met in that stupid fucking park. And then came the hospital and by the time the chance (planned) meeting at the museum rolled around, and he felt something tugging in the inner recesses of his heart that were called "inner recesses" for a reason, he really should have listened and gotten the hell out of dodge.

He had promised to text the kid last night, and he wanted to - really - but...Goddammit, he was terrified of that. Terrified of what hateful things Eren would have to say,. Terrified of what hateful things he would have to say only to later regret. Terrified of ending things so badly, but even more terrified of patching things up and having to think about their potential taking bloom.

So he left Eren's inbox empty, instead wallowing in his own self-hatred and self-pity and whatever other negative "self" there was out there.

Part of him (most of him) wanted to call in sick, and he debated for a good half-hour whether it would be better to have this confrontation at work and get it over with when people were around, or put it off and hope. Hope that he could regain enough of his bullshitting ability for when Hanji and Erwin inevitably lumbered into his place, not leaving until they knew the gritty details.

It was only decided when trying to cradle his mug against his palm for the heat - instead of the usual way he held it - resulted in aggravating the harrowed skin of his hands even more. Clearly staying home wasn't going to help his physical health, and he doubted his mental health would improve either.

. . .

He could hear Hanji's voice clear cross the building which, on one hand, helped him avoid them. On the other, it filled him with that primal fear borne of anticipation because every time he thought he was safe, their voice got closer and remind him of his impending doom.

Most of his shift had passed without incident - thank god Rico had off because if she got caught sight of him - ! He shuddered to think about it, because while both she and Hanji were equal in persistence, Hanji was annoying whereas Rico was just downright scary.

Even he probably couldn't survive an interrogation.

Of course it had to be in those final moments when he thought that maybe - just maybe - things were looking up, and he'd escaped the unleashing of the Spanish Inquisition, that Hanji came silently bounding out of nowhere, catching him in a sidetackle.

The only reason they were still upright was due to Levi's quick reflexes and the conveniently placed display.

"Fucking hell, Shitty Glasses," he murmured, hastily wiping off his handprint now staining the glass covering. At least he hadn't broken it. With his luck, he'd either slit his wrists by mistake, or, because fate really hated him, get accused of attempted robbery and go to jail for twenty to life.

"Le-vi!" Each syllable was drawn out gratingly. "I haven't - "

There it was.

The gasp of horror and the cheek pinching of mortification.

"What happened?"

They left him no room to answer, just began dragging him off to the parking lot, giving Erwin a quick call to let them know they'd both be leaving but gracefully not inviting him along.

At least they weren't entirely demonic.

He was all but manhandled into their car - not that he was putting up much of a fight because he learned experience or strength didn't matter when Hanji had a goal. They'd achieve it regardless.

The drive was silent (remember that whole anticipation-induced-fear? Definitely valid) and their driving disconcertingly normal. A brief stop at some convenience store took two minutes - they told him to stay in the car with a mere look - before they came out sporting some ominous plastic bag filled with god-knew-what.

Eventually, they dumped at Hanji's apartment and clamored out of the car, Levi following behind like a cowed child awaiting punishment.

Which was disturbingly accurate, though they didn't know he'd done anything worthy of discipline other than being a fuck-up in general.

It wasn't until they'd flung off their shoes and ushered Levi into their spacious living room that they finally spoke, rustling through their spoils from the store and shoving a pint of icecream at him.

He snorted at that, huffed out an almost-laugh when they went leaping back into the kitchen to grab spoons before tossing themselves onto a couch in that stereotypical chick-flick manner that left them with their legs crossed and their back hunched forward.

"Spill," they stated, already peeling back the plastic seal but giving him no less attention.

He opened his mouth to heave out a deep exhale, and was surprised that a high-pitched mew came out instead.

"Ugly, hush, you can give your two-cents' in a minute," Hanji scolded lightly, lowering their ice-cream tipped spoon to the cat waiting patiently for attention on the floor.

At first, he was just horrified that anyone would share a spoon with an animal when they fully intended to continue using said spoon.

Then he realized what little pest was now perching on the coffee table, and his heart just shattered in two because it was Ugly, the little shit that had caused him to meet the other little shit.

"You kept him?" It was meant to be a question, came out as a soft observation that should not have made him feel like crying for no reason at all.

"Of course, silly," Hanji's voice was just as quiet - quieter maybe? - and they didn't push for the juicy story again. Just ate their ice cream and let Ugly join in, not even sending him a sidelong glance as a prod.

Levi slowly took a taste of his own tub, rolled the creaminess around in his mouth for a few beats before swallowing something else down, too.

"So Eren and I kissed last night," he started abruptly, and if he thought they had lost their shit when they found out he even knew the bright-eyed brat, he was sorely mistaken.

A barely stifled yelp tore through their throat, and they jumped off from the couch so violently Ugly was startled and scurried into the other room.

"You guys kissed?" They echoed incredulously, bearing down on him with baited breath.

"Yes, but don't make it sound like it's such a good thing," he groused back, moodily stabbing his spoon into the chocolatey swirl.

"But it is - " They cut themselves off, knowing Levi needed time to process his thoughts without being interrupted or told what was right or what was wrong.

"I fucked up, Hanji. I'm fucked up," he amended, looking down and feeling the exact opposite of hungry.

"No, sweetie, maybe you moved too fast, but you're not - " They stopped themselves again, but their imploring eyes spoke louder than words anyway.

Levi mulled over what to say and how to say; that had never been his strong suit, in case his shit humor and abrasive personality weren't the first clue.

"I can't give him what he wants. What he deserves," he carded a hand through his hair and rubbed his forehead. "Hanji, you don't know how perfect this brat is. He's an angel, hand to god. And he can do so much better than a bitter old man too - "

Too jaded, he was going to say, but that didn't really do his mental state (or lack thereof) justice.

"I saw this coming a mile away and I tried to stop it, but he's just - ... You ever want something to work so desperately that you ignore the warning signs? Like you're on the train tracks and you hear the whistle and the bells, and the crossing sign is coming down; but you just keep walking? Just keep waltzing on down the tracks even though you know it's only going to kill you, but you think maybe - just maybe - you can get there before it does?"

The silence was heavy, and he wished once again he knew how to phrase things better. But Hanji, bless them, could read him better than maybe even Erwin; was deceptively perceptive for how they portrayed themselves, and answered after a beat,

"We all have. We've all jumped out of a plane without knowing if the chute would actually work, and sometimes it does while others it doesn't."

At least they were keeping up with the shitty transportation metaphors.

"But you have to try, Levi. You have to try or else you'll never see that scenery, or feel that rush, or know that peace when you land safely."

Levi just shook his head woefully, placing another spoonful in his mouth, but tasting little but dirt.

"I shouldn't have agreed to give him my number, or get that present from him - or give that shitty-ass mug - or go to his dumbass movie night, or - "

He cut off his rambling. He didn't do that. Didn't ramble aimlessly until the right words came out. He only spoke if he knew his intent, but, the thing was, right then he had no idea what the fuck he was thinking, much less what to do.

"So what happened exactly?" They questioned in a low tone finally, prodding him to formulate some coherent sentences.

"He invited me to a movie night. I should have said no, but he seemed really sincere - I mean, who the fuck am I kidding? Everything about this brat is sincere - " he snorted " - and I figured it wouldn't hurt to drop by for a few minutes. Before I knew it, I'd had a couple beers. I wasn't drunk! You know I don't get drunk that easily," He added hastily, jerking his chin up to make eye contact and make his point concrete.

They nodded as if he wasn't acting like an ass, and he in turn nodded to himself.

"So, yeah, I was a little tipsy and while everyone else left, he asked me to stay. I should have said no, I only had about a shitton of completely valid excuses to leave, but I'm a fucking idiot and I said yes."

All the air left him as his shoulder sagged, and he shoveled another bite into his mouth more for something to do than because he wanted whatever gay flavor they had bought for him.

They were patiently silent, only prodding him to continue with a gentle toe nudging his knee that they both knew he could easily ignore.

"We were on the couch watching - I mean, fuck, if I know what that shit was - and all of the sudden he was staring at me and, yeah, we kissed like fucking horny teenagers."

His cheeks felt hot and he thought maybe he'd fling himself from their window if only because he was blushing at the thought.

"And?"

Another sigh.

"And I kinda lost my shit and was muttering how fucked up I was and what a mistake I'd made and Eren definitely took it the wrong way. I just haven't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

Even when he was finished with his sad little tale, Hanji didn't say anything. Just thoughtfully sucked on their spoon and absently patted Ugly's head when he came back.

"Why would a misunderstanding be a good thing?" They finally came out with.

"I don't know," he grumbled, feeling stupid enough as it was and most definitely unprepared to be on the receiving end of those type of questions.

"Because you think you'd save him - and yourself - some pain if you just cut it off before it gets serious?"

See? Unnervingly adept at uncovering secret truths.

"I don't know," he repeated even less intelligibly.

"If you were to break it off, don't you think Eren deserves more of an explanation?"

"He'd just argue - "

They raised their voice to override his counter. "Didn't you say he was an angel? Does an angel deserve to be thrown away after making a bold move they'd probably worried over for days - weeks even?"

He stayed silent, and they took that as a cue to continue.

"Isn't it most unfair to leave him feeling guilty and confused and overall shitty because he took a courageous step and you wigged out?"

"I guess," Levi consented, setting his pint on the coffee table and reaching over to scoop Ugly into his lap - hushing his protesting meow that quickly morphed into pleased purrs.

"So there, you admitted you have to at least text him that it wasn't his fault," this was barely understandable as they had crammed basically half of the goddamn container into their mouth, flecks splattering any time they had to flick up their tongue to form a sound. "I mean you really owe him at least a call if not a date - meet up - " They were quick to correct themselves.

"But he needs to know that he didn't do anything wrong, and you sure as hell weren't talking about his perky ass when you said it was a mistake. He needs that reassurance."

"And what if he tries to push the issue? To continue seeing me anyway?" Levi shot back dejectedly, frown tugging down his usually blank features.

"What if? Would that be so bad?"

"Yes," he said instantly, but there was no consideration to those words - just a hurried denial so he wouldn't have to face the prospect of that goddamn fucking potential.

. . .

Two days had passed and Eren still hadn't texted him, so, remembering Hanji's talk that they at least needed to clear some of the air, he shot a simple,

Hey, kid

It took most of his dinner for a response to pop up, being an irate,

I'm not a kid. Is that the problem here?

It's not you, it's me, he almost answered, but that was so stupid and so cliche a piece of his already withered soul would definitely die if he used it, so instead he said,

Of course not. Can we maybe talk? I fucked up

Yeah, you made that pretty clear

The reply came before Levi had even time to set his phone down and all he could do was stare at it. The hurt and the anger poured into the words on the screen, and he could easily picture Eren's scrunched up face, that terrible noise from the night before playing in his ears on some sick version of repeat.

I can promise you that's not what I meant. Please let me explain

No reply.

. . .

The only reason Levi had gotten any amount of sleep that night was due to the sheer exhaustion of getting none the previous days, leaving him passed out (fully clothed) on top of the covers.

The fact his phone was right next to his hand meant nothing other than insurance his alarm would wake him.

His head was fuzzy and his mouth was moth balls and his eyes couldn't pick out shapes, only colors. Limbs sore from the awkward position and neck cricked to the left had his movements sluggish beyond the blanketing fatigue, but he was still quick and functional when he checked his inbox.

Nothing, and he considered that maybe if alcohol wasn't easing any of this maybe a pack of cigarettes would do the trick.

. . .

He'd gone to the drug store on the way to work. Had even looked over the packages to decide which brand he wanted - he'd never been picky himself - before those goddamn blackened lungs filled his vision and he was backing away with wobbly steps.

Erwin was waiting for him in the lobby, dammit. The freedom from Eyebrows he'd enjoyed the passed few days apparently wasn't leaking over to today.

A meaty hand clapped on his shoulder and guided him towards the art department, though Levi wasn't stupid enough to think this was work related.

"Hanji didn't tell me what was wrong, but they did say something was up," His stupidly calm voice started and suddenly they were standing in front of that fucking closet from the couple weeks before.

"I'm not having a conversation with you in the goddamn janitor's - "

"Where then?" Erwin interrupted, looking down on him with an expression that would be condescending were it on anyone else.

Levi gnawed the inside of his cheek, rubbed his forehead - used every tell in his arsenal because, fuck it, he had nothing to hide at that point - before finally consenting.

"Yeah, okay, shithead, we can use this fucking broom closet."

A gay joke was right there again, but whether it was nerves or he was just too lacking in creativity in general, he couldn't figure it out.

Following a fast sprucing up of the place - seriously, the bottom of those buckets had seen actual shit at some point - left them both awkwardly cramped together, knees touching and backs pressing uncomfortably against the metal shelves behind them.

"Does it have something to do with Eren?"

Levi grunted, fingers tapping an idle rhythm against his thigh.

"Something...happened?" He pressed carefully, actually leaning back to give him more space.

"We kissed," Levi blurted out.

The thing with his friends was Hanji could get him to talk, but Erwin could get him to say things.

The tiny space was silent other than his own frustrated sigh.

"I said I fucked up and it was a mistake and all sorts of shit. I think he hates me now," Levi admitted with a quiet honesty.

"Why would you say something so harsh?"

Because it's true, he almost said before thinking better of it. Because everyone else does would only set Eyebrows off more.

So he mulled over his words and worried at his lip and let all of these nervous gesture eek out because Erwin knew most of what was going through his head anyway, and it was tiring to keep up a facade at all times.

"I asked to meet to explain what happened, and he still hasn't replied," he confessed softly, a dejected lilt at the end of his voice that he definitely didn't want there.

"When did you ask?"

"Last night."

That actually got an amused chuckle and a friendly hand on his shoulder.

"Levi, you asked him last night. When did you two kiss again?"

"I don't know, two or three days ago," he commented in a mumble.

"It took you that long to pull your head out of your ass to explain yourself, and yet you're anxious that Eren hasn't replied within a few hours?"

Well, it was more than a few, thank you very much. He wasn't that clingy.

"Shut the fuck up," he blew out the air in his cheeks along with the venomless statement.

"You could have told me what was going on sooner, you know," Erwin told him seriously, blue eyes trying to bore into his own though he refused to meet them.

"Levi."

He didn't say anything.

"Levi," he stressed his name like it mattered, like it was important to gain his attention.

"What?" He snapped.

"Even if this doesn't work with Eren, you know you still have me, right?"

Maybe if he weren't as straight as a goddamn fucking arrow, Levi mused knowing full well that wasn't what Captain America meant but unable to confront the veracity of the remark head on.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever," he finally muttered, getting up and dusting off real (imaginary) dust from his ass.

"Now," he began as they went back into the hallway. "If only we could get you to come out of the other closet."

Erwin laughed and placed a gentle hand on the small of his back, and Levi wondered how they could have such a meaningless conversation yet have him feeling at least a thousand percent better.


	12. Chapter 12

"This is fucking hideous," he stated flatly, frown pulling at his mouth and eyebrows pulling towards each other.

"That's what you said about the other one," Rico rolled her eyes, sparing him a mere half glance from over her notebook.

"Other one?" He echoed, tilting his head, taking in the painting before him.

It only had whites and blacks, derivatives of grays - some of which could maybe be called blue - but was devoid of any real color. A mottle of strokes and a flurry of spots obscured the image, the distorted figures huddled in front of what were likely trees - maybe a pond? - visible only after a solid minute of staring and interpreting.

"Yeah, that painting you bitched about before. With the water and the people," she clarified when he leveled a look at her because he'd bitched about far too many paintings for that to be helpful.

He made an affirmative grunt, eyes darting over to that one and thinking it was just as awful and just as beautiful as he had that first time he'd laid eyes on it.

"I think I like this one better. It's not as sad, somehow," he decided, wandering aimlessly to the next new pick from the recent gallery.

"I thought you liked the depressing ones?" She snarked back, a hint of sincerity in her tone.

His mind conjured images of Eren, of his bright eyes and messy hair and angelic personality, and he found himself murmuring, "Yeah. I did too."

. . .

His shift had almost ended - thank god. He understood perfectly that art could be interpreted individually, but there were times when people's opinions made him want to either slit their throats or his own.

But, at last, it was over and he was faced with the prospect of walking home. The three night guards nodded their head in acknowledgment - the girl borderline icy, the blonde with a grin, the brunette sweating rain. He dipped his chin back, plowing through the door. At least it was moderate out; it was definitely chillier due to the sun's going down, but there was no snow or sleet or hail to beat him up, and the wind was more akin to a gentle summer breeze than a violent winter squall.

He hadn't even made it to the actual sidewalk yet when a small voice behind him said, "Hey".

Just short of jumping out of his goddamn skin, Levi whipped around with every intention to pummel the shit out of whoever was there. But a pair of too bright eyes and messy bedhead greeted him, and his entire body sagged in something that he wanted to call defeat, but was probably relief.

"You wanted to talk?"

Levi swallowed, his spit suddenly thick and his throat closed off.

"Yeah," his voice sounded sharp in the relative silence.

"You wanna go back to my place, or - ?"

"That's fine," he interrupted without really thinking about any implications.

"Okay."

. . .

The car ride was deadly silent, each shift of the gear or shift in their respective seat deafening; each involuntary sniff or absent fidget drawing too much attention.

Levi wasn't willing to be the first to speak; at least, not in a car with no chance for escape if shit got too real.

It wasn't until they were pulling up alongside the curb that Eren finally commented,

"I didn't text back because I wasn't sure I wanted to see you," which didn't sting except for the part where it really did. "When I finished my day at the shelter I found myself driving aimlessly and then, when all of the sudden I was in front of your fucking museum - " it was spat with frustration that Levi didn't think was aimed at him " - I realized I at least owed it to myself to hear you out."

Levi nodded, unsure of how to respond and waiting for Eren to have shambled out of the car before even opening the passenger door.

Even once they at last made it to his apartment, Eren tiredly tossing down his keys and shucking off his shoes and coat, neither spoke.

Eren put on the kettle and Levi decided a cigarette would be really fucking nice right about then. Instead he stood awkwardly in the doorway, keeping his face impassive as he looked at Eren's cheek even though the kid was boring into his eyes.

They were both exhausted, that much was evident. Both weary from the talk before it even started.

"You said I had misunderstood?" Eren began eventually, words nigh echoing.

Levi nodded quickly. "Look, I - I fucked up."

"I know - " Eren was growling, taking an angry step forward before Levi raised his voice,

"I'd been seeing this coming since we met and, fuck, Eren, I'm a goddamn basketcase, you know?" The last part was rhetorical, but the kid tried to answer anyway before shushing with a wave as his cue.

Hand flopping back to his side, Levi continued, or, tried to, but he was shit at this whole emoting thing. Was better at showing his feeling with small gestures or gaping actions. He could feel his face darkening with every passing beat as he grew more and more upset with himself for his inability to say what he was feeling.

Eren took another stride towards him - this one softened, and called out a quiet, "Levi?"

"That's just it!" He exclaimed with too much vigor, arm flailing loosely at Eren. He didn't deserve that gentle concern, not when he was the one at fault. Didn't deserve such genuine care when -

Eren was right there, leaning down in that secure enveloping way, and then Levi was standing on his tip-toes and their noses were an inch apart, breaths mingling.

Levi closed the rest of the distance, starting off with the same tender touches as the other night, darting his tongue out against Eren's lip and gasping in surprise when the kid had the same idea. Soon their mouths were open and he wasn't sure whose tongue was whose anymore, and Eren had crushed him against the wall, moving with a type of intensity Levi didn't know the sweet brat was capable of.

Hands were threading through hair and around waists and then, just like that, Eren jerked away and scattered to the other end of the kitchen.

"What the fuck?" He exclaimed, chest heaving and lips still wet and plump. Hair still mussed and shirt rumpled, and it was irrationally hot.

Levi tried to step forward to explain himself, faltered at Eren's defensive reaction, and instead slumped where he was. A hand scraped against his scalp as he combed his hair out of his face,

"I'm not good with my words," he conceded with a sigh.

"Yet you're good with your mouth," Eren retorted before processing what he'd said, and if the sexual tension built up any more, Levi was pretty sure actual sparks would fly.

"We were both fucking drunk that night, for one," Levi finally stated, deciding that was one problem he knew how to address.

"I - " Eren wavered, then nodded. "Yeah, okay, but there were a lot better ways to tell me you didn't want to regret anything sober than - than - " he gesticulated aimlessly " - than that."

"I just said my speaking ability is shit," Levi grumbled, trying to smooth out his jacket.

Eren blew out a sharp exhale from his nose. "You sound like there's more to it though."

And, oh god, he had no filter when it came to face-to-face chats and blurted out, "It's not you, it's me."

They both reveled in the lameness of that excuse by staring blankly at one another.

"What I mean is, I'm not the type of person you should get involved with. I'm moody and stingy and a neat-freak and the littlest thing can set me off and have me wallowing in my shitty past which I can't even get myself to talk about because I'm emotionally constipated and - "

Hanji could get him to talk and Erwin could get him to say things and this kid - this fucking kid - could apparently get him to do both.

"But do you like me?" he asked, somehow right in his face again, breathing ragged and hand coming up to brush some of his bangs from his eyes.

"What are we, in grade school?" Levi avoided the question, avoided his gaze, and avoided the kid altogether by sidling to the left.

A small grin was turning Eren's lips up as he accused, "You do like me, don't you?"

"There's - " goddamn fucking " - potential," he mumbled slowly, letting Eren tilt his chin up, but neither moving to escape it nor moving into it.

"Potential," Eren clucked as if trying out the sound, the feel, of the word on his lips. "I like that."

A cocked head like fucking puppy, "But you know what I like even more? You."

Levi tried to take it seriously - he really did - but it was without a doubt the corniest thing he'd ever heard (still had him blushing and hiding his face in his hands) - and he chuckled out a soft,

"You fucking dork."

"That's why you like me, though," Eren poked his arm with one hand, used the other to pry away Levi's fingers from his cheeks to place a soft kiss on his eyebrow.

His eyebrow of all the goddamn places, what the fuck even was this kid?

"So when you said it was a mistake?" He trailed off, expecting Levi to finish the query.

"I don't want to mess you up, too, kid," Levi tried to pull away - he did - but this kid was so warm and right there and somehow he was pressing his nose against the brat's collarbone.

"I'm not exactly a poster child for mental health, you know. Anger management and daddy issues all wrapped up into one grim package," Eren tried to say it lightly, but there was too much truth dragging it down.

"You and me both," Levi whispered, angling his face up just enough to catch a glimpse of Eren's expression, open and terrified and hopeful.

"So..." the kid was trying to understand what had happened, and considering it'd been rambled between kisses, he couldn't blame the bafflement.

"So I like you. And it freaked me the fuck out because good things don't happen to people like me," Levi told him flatly. "And while I was losing my shit I was so focused on my own panicking I didn't think about how it would look to you. That's the type of shit you'd be stuck with if - if - "

If you give this a shot, if you don't run away, if you -

"If," Eren repeated in much the same manner he'd clicked out potential. "'If'," he continued, putting an emphasis on the word that somehow made it sound a lot more like when. "You'd have to get used to my getting angry and jumping to conclusions and probably being jealous of anyone else who looked at your hot piece of ass."

Levi couldn't help the small laugh, starting to voice that he never thought any of those things about Eren, then realizing maybe the kid had felt the same way about him - at least now that he had a better idea of what had happened.

"Besides, if all of our fights end like this..."

Levi was expecting a kiss to follow that statement, had actually looked at the kid only to see a gleam in his eye as he bypassed his lips and went straight for the neck - nipping, sucking, hnng, licking the goddamn, evil son of a bitch.

A little, breathy exhale glided passed his lips as he shifted his head to the right, exposing more of his flesh.

"This is a bad idea," he muttered with no real enthusiasm.

"The worst," Eren tongued - hummed - in agreement, taking steps until suddenly he was pleasantly trapped between the wall and the kid.

"No, really, I was with the literal goddamn mafia," Levi confessed.

That did get him to stop that sinful thing he was doing and surface enough to look at his face. Instead of horror or anger or just all-out fear, he was met with a face-splitting grin.

"That makes you a bit of a naughty boy."

Levi groaned in the least sexy way because that was probably the most boner-killing sentence he'd ever heard (he hadn't been hard yet, but would probably have been soon had it not been for the saving grace of this nerd).

"You're a goddamn idiot," Levi told him, draping his arms around the kid's neck and resting their foreheads together to study his beautiful fucking eyes.

"Yeah, but I'm your idiot."

That did have a nice ring to it.

. . .

When Levi had said Eren's comment had killed his boner, he wasn't exaggerating. All horny-ness died with it and, rather than the heavy petting and hot make out session he had been envisioning, the two collapsed on Eren's couch and did the gayest thing Levi had ever done by curling up in blankets and getting limbs tangled up together.

"I'm still freaked, just so you know," Levi told him not long after they'd settled down. "This could go badly in about a thousand and one ways."

"Where's the fun without a little risk?" Eren shot back, which was the dumbest ideation out there because, funnily enough, someone could still have a blast without tempting the grim reaper.

"Don't be stupid," he snapped more forcefully than he meant to, reason #329 as to why he wasn't cut out for this shit. He tried to soften his voice and what came out was a morbid, "You could die."

"That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard. Of course I could die. You could die. All of New York could die. But if you live in the constant fear of tomorrow, before you know it you'll never have a today," that was the type of poetic bullshit Levi wished he could spout off sometimes, but even if he managed to come up with it, coming from his mouth would make it sound cynical and sardonic.

From Eren's, though, from Eren's it sounded realistic and beautiful, left an ache in his heart because maybe some of the scabs littering it were beginning to peel and instead of being a crippling pain, it was a cathartic healing.

He burrowed his nose into Eren's chest with a muttered, "sap", deciding that he'd already gone this far and he was going to give this whole - whatever the fuck this was - a go.

Eren just planted a pair of lips on his head, leaving them there and letting small exhales ruffle his hair.

. . .

A clanging garbage truck on the street is what woke Levi out of his surprisingly deep slumber, had him scrambling out of whatever the hell was cocooning him and tripping over the coffee table to land sorely on his ass.

Looking back, Levi still didn't know how it happened. Couldn't fathom how the night had gone from awkward to angry to passionate to sweet. Didn't know how one minute they were speaking through gritted teeth, and the next their teeth were clashing together. Didn't know how they sat down on the couch to just be and somehow fell asleep like that.

Eren was still on the couch, blearily looking around like he was trying really hard to be of help but was far too disoriented for that.

"Hey, what are you doing down there?" He yawned, a string of saliva connecting his mouth before it snapped and got sucked into his throat with a tiny cough. Rubbing his eyes and sitting in a more upright position, he stared at Levi for several beats before blinking and, all at once, Levi could see the recognition slamming into him like a wrecking ball.

"What are you doing down there?" He shouted, this time more frenzied and trying to scrabble to his feet to help him up, only to get caught in the throw and land in a groaning heap next to him. Actually caught Levi's right arm under his torso and trapped him on the carpet.

"Never mind, I remember," he murmured into the rug, face smushed against it and body limp as if he didn't plan to remedy that fact.

"We were sober last night, weren't we?" Levi questioned, deciding he didn't really need to rise to his feet either, but at least slipping his head to face the brat.

"Drunk off of love, high off of hate," his answer was muffled.

For a second, all Levi caught was the 'l' word and he about had a heart attack, but then he recognized the phrase.

"Are you quoting fucking Eminem to me?"

"He's good," Eren defended.

"Do I look like the type of person to listen to rap?" Levi asked incredulously.

"Do I?" Eren countered, angling his face just enough so one eye could meet his gaze. "Eminem is a class act."

He rolled his eyes in response. "You're an idiot."

"Your idiot, right?" The kid repeated, this time pushing himself up into a position just shy of a plank and leaning directly over Levi's face.

He hadn't done much more than hum in agreement the night before, so this time affirmed with a flick to the nose.

"Shut up," the opposite of malice, laced with an intense form of affection that left him scared shitless but too enamored to pay attention to.

Eren started to lean down for some early morning something, but Levi shoved him off.

"Like I want to taste your fucking morning breath."

. . .

It was early yet, and, despite Levi's protests that he needed to go back to his place for a shower and a change of clothes - if Hanji or Erwin caught him in yesterday's sleep-rumpled clothes he might have to change his name and leave the country - Eren convinced him to stay for breakfast.

Levi couldn't cook shit, but he made the best goddamn coffee in the whole goddamn world. While he was grinding up the beans (it had to be a sign that the kid ground his own whole beans like goddamn), Eren was rustling through the cupboard tossing out suggestions,

"Eggs? Pancakes? Waffles? Oo, toaster strudels? No, wait, I have Captain Crunch!" This kid had a lot of fucking food, but, just as Levi was about to point that out, he continued with, "Mikasa makes sure I have enough food to survive two global apocalypses."

A guttural noise acknowledged the information.

"I don't care," Levi answered when asked what he wanted. "I barely know how to make scrambled eggs so I can assure you my breakfasts aren't high on the fucking hog."

"Want me to teach you?" Eren asked absently and it should not have made Levi blush like a fucking teenager. "Pancakes are easy, why don't we start with that."

. . .

They were not, as Eren claimed, "easy". Sure, the batter was simple to put together when you had a pre-made mix, and even pouring it into the pan didn't exceed Levi's capabilities.

It was when he tried to flip them to cook the other side that he was once again reminded of why Farlan had always done the cooking, and these days his food was either microwavable or take-out.

The first try, the pancakes weren't stable enough to turn over, so the batter just collapsed in this stupid gelatinous mass. Eren was snickering behind him, promising that this time he'd tell Levi when to flip them instead of making it a true 'learning experience' and making him figure it out on his own.

"Do I look like Gordon fucking Ramsey?" He groused after, this time even with Eren's coaching, he struggled too long to cram the spatula under the circle and get it on its other side, resulting in a blackened pancake.

"You do have his cheerful disposition," Eren laughed, resting his head on his shoulder in such a simple, comfortable, wonderful gesture.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I'm making you eat this shit."

. . .

He did.

The scary thing was, he did. Even tried to encourage Levi that by the third one he didn't need to drink eight gallons of coffee (and fuck, if he wasn't using that stupid mug) to wash away the taste, only to more sincerely say, "You're getting better, Levi. I really think you'll be the best goddamn pancake chef in New York by the time I'm through passing on my superior knowledge."

Levi rolled his eyes at the comment, relishing in the pancakes Eren had made for him and too focused on the stupidly fuzzy feeling blossoming in his chest to compare how shitty his own attempts had been compared to this perfection; how that comparison was basically a metaphor for their entire relationship thus far.


	13. Chapter 13

In contrast to last night's touching, that morning was filled with tentative brushes and unsure pecks. It was as if they had jumped the gun in heated frenzy the hours beforehand and were now trying to take it slow, take their time with this whole 'relationship' thing when they were both equally freaked out by.

They did, however, share a kiss that had a dash of tongue added to the mix when Eren dropped him off at his apartment, and Levi was definitely a little flushed when he darted passed a very curious Petra. His shower was either five minutes or five hours, then, after shrugging into appropriate clothes for work, he sneaked passed Petra (literally hid behind the goddamn potted plant) and headed to work.

Almost got hit by a car crossing the street - mostly because they came whipping around the corner like a neanderthal, though he had to place a minimal amount of blame on his preoccupation with his current circumstances.

He was trying really hard not to think about it. Any time he did reminded him of all of his failed relationships in the past - not even romantic relationships (mostly because he'd never had anything beyond repeated one night stands) - just any interactions with humans in general.

But he was striving to be a better person; to, at the very least, be someone who may not be worthy of Eren but wasn't unworthy of him either. So he shoved down the negative thoughts as he was so adept at doing, had to focus on the annoying way the wind his hair was constantly blowing in his fucking eye and not anything that had even a modicum to do with the brat.

It was a really fucking long walk to work.

Hanji bombarded the moment he got passed the entrance, attempting to thrust a cup into his hand and only succeeding in sloshing it all over his coat.

"Damn Shitty Glasses," he muttered darkly as he pointlessly tried to brush it off.

They used their own jacket - their own goddamn jacket that they had peeled off - to blot at the stain, murmuring apologies between laughs and giving him the tea they had intended for him in the first place.

A grumbled "thanks" and he pushed them away to go to the bathroom and actually clean himself up.

They followed him in like it was no big deal - of course they did - and immediately started in with,

"So you look less tired today."

Which didn't make any sense, because whether he got two hours of sleep or twelve he always had at least fifty bags under his eyes ranging from a light purple to a jet black.

"It's possible to get sleep, you know," he offered irately, pressing a damp paper towel to his coat.

"No, there's something...else," they cocked their head, hand on their chin as they studied his expression. A loud gasp sucked most of the oxygen from the room and into their lungs as they hopped onto his shoulders (if they expected a piggy-back ride they were stupider than he thought).

"You got laid, didn't you?"

"No, you fucking hag!" He protested with such vehemence, waving around like a moron, that he thwacked his hand on the sink hard enough he was sure there would be a bruise later.

"You did!" They shouted, getting in his face close enough he could see every smudge, fleck, and stain of grease on their glasses.

"How the fuck do you even see?" He diverted, wrenching their glasses off and cleaning them with too much thoroughness to actually care whether or not they could look out of them.

"Okay, so maybe you didn't take a dick - "

"Oh my god, stop - "

"But something happened," they overrode him, placing hands on either side of him and trapping him between the sink.

"I don't know," he mumbled. Not that he knew why he bothered; he always had the same two defensive tactics when it came to direct questions: insults or a mostly muddled "I don't know". And neither ever worked.

"Oo, it was with Eren, wasn't it?"

He may have been safe (probably not) from further interrogation, but his cheeks decided to stage a mutiny and flood with hot red.

"It was. How far? Blow job? Hand job? At least - "

"Shut the fuck up, we didn't even make out!" He shouted, shoving passed them and stalking out from the bathroom, heart thready (and he blamed it on embarrassment, but really he was flustered from what she was suggesting).

"Ah, so you kissed? Did you cuddle? You cuddled!" They shrieked - literally goddamn shrieked bloody murder and literally skipped down the fucking hallway.

"You kissed and you cuddled! Details, I need details."

It was a bit miffing how they could go from the other end of the corridor to up his ass in all of 2.5 seconds.

"Okay, fine. Fine, you witch, let's go somewhere. I'm not discussing my private life where any fuckwad with a pair of ears could hear me," as if to prove his point, a mother and two brats hurried passed him, the former shooting him a dirty look.

He sneered back.

He never claimed to be good with social interactions.

They went to the staffroom for privacy and to heat up his now luke-warm tea (actually he mused it was probably room temperature to begin with).

But they weren't exactly alone; Rico was standing there bitterly muttering about the 'asshole who finished the coffee should start the next pot'.

He was dicking around with the microwave and casually waiting for her to leave when Hanji piped up,

"Ayy, Rico! Want to get in on some juicy gossip?"

Rico gave them a raised eyebrow and a bored expression. "Do I look like the type to care about who's banging who?"

"It has to do with Levi though!" They announced eagerly, and his ears were basically on fire as he was watching his tea turn in the microwave with a sort of fascination reserved for birth or pimple popping - nasty shit you wanted to look away from but never could because they were oddly satisfying.

He could hear her eyebrow hike up even further, and the amused lilt in her voice assured him she was smirking at his back.

"Now that would be interesting, but I think I'll pick up the scoop later."

Bless her. Well, also, fuck her because she was evil and probably just wanted to handle an interrogation without interruptions from Hanji.

"Pictures or it didn't happen," she called over her shoulder on the way out, and he really hoped she caught the bird flipped her direction.

"Don't you mean to use that on Eren?"

"What?" He asked.

"You know, fuck you. Fuck Eren."

He just about dropped his tea in his speed to whip around and face them.

"You're a goddamn shitstain, piss-loving - "

"Ssh, my grumpy short one. Come, sit," they waved him over to the couches, and the worst part was that he couldn't bring himself to just walk out the door instead.

Levi sipped his tea as they breathed down his neck, but no one said anything for a good three minutes.

"So, you two kissed again?"

He groaned. "Yes, if you must know, you wench. I apologized. He understood and - "

And he kissed me with more passion and tenderness than I knew was possible much less experienced, and his hands felt so good on my hips, and his hair was soft and perfect, and I really think this could work.

"And?" They echoed like a fucking...echo-thing. He was too grouchy to make any type of genius comparisons; Eren was, it seemed, the one good with words.

"And somehow we ended up huddled - "

"You mean cuddled?"

"Huddled," he forged on. "On the couch and then I left back for my place."

After, of course, falling asleep and trying to learn how to make pancakes which was somehow far more intimate than any kissing they could have done.

"Are you going to see him again?"

"I don't know, probably!" He snapped, scowling at the steam making his palm sweaty from how he held his cup.

"You deserve to be happy, you know," their tone was much more somber this time.

"So I've been told," he rolled his eyes, recalling Erwin's conversation.

"He's good for you."

"You've said that, too."

"And he looks to have big feet, and you know what they say about a man with big feet," they waggled their eyebrows and punched his arm playfully at his instinctive,

"I hate you."

"Just because you have a boyfriend now - "

"I wouldn't say we're - "

" - doesn't mean you'll ditch Erwin and me, right?"

Like most everything else they said, it was spoken lightheartedly and with a small smile, but he recognized the question as the insecurity it was.

"Of course I'd never fucking do that. Idiot," he added, ruffling their hair in a manner he tried to make bullying but was definitely affectionate.

"Bros before hoes," they beamed, abruptly standing up and speeding off to their lab.

. . .

It didn't take long for Erwin to find out.

Levi hadn't even gotten the chance to tell him (not that he had grand plans to in the first place), and he gleaned that Hanji hadn't flapped their massive gums either.

Eyebrows just knew. Took one look at his face and - much more respectable than Hanji's outrageous "you got laid" - stated matter-of-factly,

"You and Eren seem to be doing well."

Didn't prod further following Levi's scowled, "shut the fuck up"; just smirked at him knowingly with a twinkle in his eye.

. . .

What are you wearing?

The text caught him completely off-guard as he finished the sandwich he'd bought himself at the museum food court.

Nothing all that sexy

He finally settled on, a smirk blossoming at the thought of the kid getting kinky over the phone.

What?

He'd barely read that before another message blurb showed up

Oh, no not like that, haha. I thought maybe we could get some dinner tonight and wanted to know where we should go based on your attireXD

Well, he felt stupid. But he hadn't been meeting his quota in that area lately, so it was only fitting. Rather than dwelling too much on his utter humiliation, he avoided it altogether.

Just some dress jeans and a button down for work

How the hell do you have dress jeans? Eren questioned immediately.

Nice black jeans, brat. Without holes and tastefully loose. Dress jeans.

He felt the second iteration of "dress jeans" really wrapped up his side of the argument.

Yeah, still don't think that's a thing. But whatever, we'll discuss that when I see how they hug your nice ass - if his cheeks were seriously getting red he was going to mail himself to Antarctica. Do you want to try that new Italian place? It's like low-key fancy.

Sounds good, Levi answered, already subconsciously wiping away at any stray dirt (there was none) and picking off the imaginary lint (there was a little). His fingers ran through his hair to settle it, and it was about then he realized how idiotic he was.

At least no one was around to see it.

. . .

About fifteen minutes before he was done with the routine of closing down the exhibits and locking up the building for the night, he let Eren know he could pick him up shortly.

Cold as it was (again), he was a little bummed that there was no rundown, grey-ish two door. The thought hadn't really been fully processed before, speak of the devil as they say, the little car rattled onto the street and stammered to a halt a few feet in front of him.

Eren leaned across the seat to open the door for him (fucking dork) and flashed a toothy grin at him.

"I guess I wasn't thinking about it being quite this late. They close at ten and I don't want to be that dick that waltzes in two minutes before closing. How does takeout sound?"

Levi was quick to agree, adding, "Foods that are shit for you are more my speed anyway."

He was praised with a chuckle, and it wasn't long before they were arguing whether Singapore noodles were better than lo mein or not (Levi, for one, liked the curry of the noodles, but Eren insisted there was more contrasting flavors to lo mein).

They got both, plus some pork dish that Levi had never heard of much less tried, and happily clattered their way back to Eren's place.

He wasn't actually sure why they had decided there and not his own, but somehow it was an unspoken agreement that they would spend time there unless Levi explicitly said otherwise. It was nice to have someone who didn't feel the need to push his boundaries.

And it just felt so natural to shuck his shoes his coat off; to watch Eren teeter on one foot as he tried to pry his own sneakers off - with only one hand because the other was clutching onto the plastic bag of Chinese.

"Idiot," Levi rolled his eyes, snatching the bag away and letting Eren clutch his arm to remain upright.

"Thanks," he smiled a tad breathlessly, sliding - literally sliding on the hardwood floor in his socked feet - into the living room, just shy of losing his balance and toppling onto the carpet.

"It's not as romantic as I was hoping for, but - "

"I'd rather this anyway," Levi cut him off, brushing by him like it was nothing. Like he wasn't internally hyperventilating at the idea of anythingbeing romantic, never mind from this ridiculously sincere, obscenely genuine, unnervingly gentle -

"Good to know," Eren spoke as if he had found the secret to the universe, unexpectedly wrapping his arms around Levi's waist and burrowing his nose into the scarf Levi had yet to peel away.

He didn't mean to tense, not really; it was just an instinctual reaction. But Eren noticed and - actual fucking saint that he was - started to pull away with a murmured,

"Too much? Sorry, I - "

"No, it's fine," his voice was quiet but steady, and he could feel the moment Eren's lips twitched into a smile on his neck.

They stood like that at least until Levi felt every muscle slacken to the point Eren was holding him up more than he himself was, before Eren finally withdrew with a theatrical sniff and, in one fluid motion, yanked the bag onto the coffee table and plopped clunkily onto the couch.

Having to blow some annoyed (affectionate) air from his lungs, Levi soon joined him on the cushion next door, knees bumping and elbows knocking as they tried to sort through the food.

"Lo mein is much better," Eren stated after groaning all too indecently around the mouthful of noodles; the dimples in his cheeks and the glint in his eye informing him the brat knew exactly what he was doing.

This was a bad idea. This was such a bad fucking idea.

But two could play that game.

Levi opened his own carton, using the chopsticks to gather up only a few noodles. Tilted his head back so his throat would be exposed and lifted the food so it hovered above his mouth, extending his tongue to tickle the tips before slowly lowering it down, taking his time to swallow and lick the corners of his lips when he does.

The kid looked like he had shit his pants already, or, at the very least, was about to.

"That's not fair," he gulped, moving to put his food down and engage in something probably less than appropriate.

"Oi, I'm hungry, brat. I haven't eaten much all day," he was digging in normally now, shooting a glower when Eren refused to eat in light of the - clearly more important - act of pouting.

"You suck ass."

He was stupid. A goddamn idiot, even. That or possessed because there was no other reason for him to offer a quiet but well-enunciated,

"Maybe later."

The kid choked on his food this time, and he couldn't help but chortle. How did this even become a who-can-out-seduce-the-other competition anyway? He didn't know, didn't even care, just found his small chuckle turning into an outright, ab-inducing laugh that had him doubled over food he almost dropped and wheezing out breaths that refused to come in the first place.

It took him a beat to realize Eren was giggling (like a fucking school girl but, damn, if it wasn't cute) alongside him, all thoughts of food or sex or much of anything dispersed with each uncontrollable exhale.

The impromptu psycho-fest apparently got whatever that was out of their system, because the most flirtatious thing that followed was the very innocent (that's not even the denial speaking) sharing of their food. Neither changed their stances on their favorite noodles, but both admitted to having a greater appreciation for the others' opinion.

Levi also discovered he really liked that pork shit, and maybe that wouldn't be the only new thing Eren would introduce him to.


	14. Chapter 14

I feel as though we all dream of a day where I don't post so sporadically:')

Also, Sexy Times Numero Uno

* * *

They'd been doing their thing for several weeks now - astutely not talking about what their 'thing' was that consisted of random movie nights, getting bad takeout, and having intense make-out sessions, but nothing beyond some over-the-clothes petting and simply sleeping together in the most basic of terms. It was also a bit overwhelming that, while he didn't have a "drawer", he had a bag with some basic clothes and a spare toothbrush sitting next to Eren's (Eren had gone all doe-eyed and sappy when he saw it).

Levi didn't didn't even plan to do any of that; he just happened to have some extra clothes with him because the kid had invited him over to watch bad reality TV, and he'd be damned if he was going to wear his dress jeans and button down when he could be wearing something cozier.

And he just kinda left it there.

And, well, honestly it hadn't occurred to Levi as something that people in any relationship would naturally spill. He knew Eren's - March 30 - but it didn't register as important that Eren didn't know his. Okay, and, maybe that statement wasn't entirely true, because Erwin had that talk with him on the way home Christmas Eve to get him to spill, but Erwin was a manipulative bastard, and it wasn't like his word could be trusted; so Levi had largely discounted the concept.

Thus, Levi felt it was perfectly fine to not bring up his because it didn't seem like that big of a deal.

That was until one night when Eren had a game night. Levi was a tad brutal at fucking Trivia Pursuit in his insistence to win, but Mikasa had the same intensity which made for an interesting game.

Frustrated with his losing, Eren pointed an accusatory finger at him and grumbled, "You only know all of this shit because you're twenty-eight, which is basically ancient."

"Twenty-nine," Levi corrected absently, ready for the next move.

Had he been as observant as a paranoid freak like him should have been, he would have noticed the shocked silence and the way everyone's eyes were glued to him. It wasn't until Marco coughed awkwardly and murmured something about grabbing 'something from the kitchen' and hastily dragging Jean at his side that Levi got the hint to look up.

"What?" He asked blankly, unsure why Eren was looking at him with something too muddled to define; some contamination between anger, frustration, and concern.

He got that set of emotions a lot, it seemed.

Mikasa and Armin were gauging how well their friend would take whatever the hell was going on, eyes occasionally flickering to Levi with something crossed between irritation and sympathy.

They all filed out shortly, Armin diplomatically (loudly) announcing that he remembered they had ingredients for rootbeer floats.

"What?" Levi parroted, eyebrows scrunching despite his best efforts.

"Twenty-nine," Eren stated flatly, like it was some big revelation.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I thought we decided age wasn't a problem," Levi frowned, ducking his head.

Of course it's a problem, you fuck. Who the hell wants to date some neurotic old guy with -

"You were twenty-eight when we met," Eren was still speaking in that matter-of-fact, borderline monotone voice.

"Yes," the word came out slowly, stretched to the length of four or five syllables instead of the one it was.

"And you're twenty-nine now."

Levi didn't know where the hell this was going, so just nodded once.

"That means - " Eren cut himself off with a sound that was definitely just the frustration talking, though some anger may have been present when his fingers clutched his scalp and started to roughly massage the roots.

"That means you had a birthday!" He finally erupted, arms slinging about all over the goddamn air.

Levi blinked. Yes, he had.

"Yes, I did."

"And you didn't tell me?" Eren demanded, leaning across to get his nose an inch away and usually his towering presence was comforting, but for the first time it didn't feel safe at all. He felt confused and threatened and stupid.

So, being the fuck-up he was, he drew back and lashed out,

"Why the fuck would I?"

He knew it'd be harsh, but he wasn't expecting Eren to physically flinch back as if he'd been hit.

And just like that, all of the fight drained out of him. His anger was like that usually; ignited in a flash and over sooner.

"I just...Was I supposed to?" He asked in just barely a whisper, eyes trained on the game's box so they wouldn't be met.

"Yes, Levi," the kid sprang forward to grip his wrists and, ah, there was the feeling of secure contentment he'd come to expect. "Yes," he emphasized. "You know mine."

"I - " he was interrupted.

"And weren't you saying we'd have to do something special?"

"Yeah, but that's you," he answered pathetically with an even more pathetic gesture.

"And I'm not allowed to feel the same way?" Eren sighed against his ear, forehead coming to rest against his shoulder in what could have been affectionate but was more likely weary.

"I - " his tongue seemed to take up his whole goddamn mouth, and his throat felt swollen. "I just never celebrated it all that much."

"Well, we'll have to change that," Eren told him leaning back just enough to peck him on the nose.

"You're an idiot," Levi rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but your idiot," He grinned again, beaming at Levi's noncommittal grunt. And just like that the tension was gone; that seemed to be how most of their fights played out though. A stupid misunderstanding and an exchange of shouting that lasted all of thirty seconds before they both melted along with their anger.

"So when is it?"

"When is what?" He wasn't even trying to evade; was just fucking oblivious to signs of tenderness like that.

That earned him a gentle punch but a fierce scowl.

"Your birthday, dumbass."

"Oh, December 25," he stood up in a stretch, the words being dragged out as he reached towards the ceiling.

Eren was mumbling that date to himself before he snapped to his feet - snapped in front of Levi's face - and shouted,

"That's on Christmas!"

"I noticed," he remarked dryly.

Eren groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I missed your birthday and it was on fucking Christmas."

"That's even better. You got me something already, so we're - " That was, apparently, the wrong thing to say.

"That makes it even worse!" The kid bemoaned dramatically.

"How does - ?"

"I didn't spend a goddamn cent on your Birthmas gift - " oh god, Hanji wasn't the only one who called it that " - so I got away Scott-free from getting you something on the two biggest days of they year!"

"Most people would - "

All of Levi's attempts at reason were drowned by Eren's theatrical wailing - loud enough that Mikasa had enough and stalked back in to see what was going on.

She looked ready to murder Levi before she froze in her tracks, cocking her head and staring at Eren as if her intense gaze would help her understand him better.

As soon as he noticed her, he lumbered over to latch onto her shoulders.

"His birthday is on Christmas and I didn't know it! I didn't - "

"I don't hate you any more, it's fine," Levi tried again and, maybe he would have been successful had Jean not decided it was his turn to waltz in and boast about how he'd never missed Marco's birthday.

(That had the two not-boyfriends blushing and not meeting each others' eyes at the slip.)

Jean cleared his throat and continued as if that had never happened.

"You suck, Jaeger. You didn't - "

"Maybe you shouldn't - " Marco was easily overpowered by Mikasa's,

"I will shove your balls up your ass and into your throat."

That got him to quiet enough; Eren, too, stopped his tirade in lieu of the new ammunition at laughing at Jean's expense of the creative insult.

And Eren didn't bring it up the rest of the night, at least, not while the others were there, and Levi was torn between relief that it was over, and anxiety that it would be brought up again in private.

It was, but in a much more pleasing manner.

. . .

They'd barely finished wiping down the counters and sticking the game back into its spot in the TV cabinet, when Eren shoved him against the wall, shoved his tongue down his throat.

"Horny brat," Levi gasped when their positions allowed, pushing back until he was the one crushing Eren into the plaster.

"Perverted geezer," He retorted, hands sliding down his torso, fingers slipping into the waistband.

"I'm not - " Levi protested weakly, not sure if he really meant it or not. They hadn't really talked about this beyond proving they were both clean, but it would be something to look forward to down the road. Was it really the end of the road? Was he ready to - ?

"Not all the way," Eren assured him. "But I've been told I'm good with my hands."

Something small and needy and, fuck, could be called an actual fucking whimper leaked from between Levi's lips when Eren simultaneously began palming him and licking his neck. Grounding the heel of his hand mercilessly against him, Eren shifted so his thigh went in between Levi's knees, giving him better access and providing more pressure.

"You - You - " he struggled to think of an adequate insult, too blindsided by his rapidly forming erection, and the kid's tongue doing that thing.

Eren just hummed into his skin, fingers trailing into his boxers now and teasing the tip, swiping the precome and smearing it upwards.

"I hate you," Levi breathed out, hands involuntarily wrapping around the brat's torso and pulling him down, pulling him closer because even with fingers on his cock and lips on his collarbone there wasn't enough touch going on, was too much space between them in general.

"I doubt that," he smirked, nipping at the bone and tickling his balls.

"It's - it's true," he gasped, keeping the noises to a series of gasps and pants because he'd never been particularly vocal.

"Yeah?" An almost violent twist that brought a pleasurable amount of pain and had him biting his lip.

Levi nodded against him, found his teeth biting at any of Eren's exposed skin and tugging gently - found himself more turned on by the brat's groan than his hand stroking at a ruthless pace only to slow down teasingly. A second hand went into his pants, this one gently manipulating his balls and letting a stray pinky rest against his entrance.

Another small noise akin to a whine left Levi, because he wasn't ready - the brat knew he wasn't ready - and the finger never went any deeper. It just remained a steady presence, sliding against it but never pushing inside, and somehow that was hotter than if he had taken an entire fist.

He lasted longer than he had expected, really. Because the kid wasn't a kid at all; was some kind of goddamn sex god even if he was just using his hands.

But soon he was coming - hard - in his pants like some kind of goddamn fucking teenager, legs weak and sagging against Eren (who was still nuzzling his neck) to keep himself from collapsing.

"Good?"

How could the kid talk while he was still kissing, was still milking his dick even though there couldn't possibly be anything left to milk? Finally stopped only to wipe his stained palms on Levi's equally stained boxers.

"Shut the fuck up," Levi scolded breathlessly, suddenly impatient and latching both hands onto the side of the kid's face to smash their lips together, to force his tongue down his throat and remind the brat that he wasn't the only dominant partner here.

Eren's other hand was traveling to grope his ass, Levi's in turn sneaking up his shirt and pinching his nipples.

Eren gasped so hard he broke the kiss for a second.

"Like that, hmm?" Levi leered, twisting harder and relishing in the way the kid's body slumped into his and groaned.

"This - this was supposed to be about you," Eren mumbled. "Was supposed to be your birthday present."

He couldn't help but bark a laugh, sobering a little at the pout aimed at him.

"It's a lovely gift, Eren," the kid melted at the way Levi rolled his name around his mouth. "But I don't need anything."

Hands sliding down a toned stomach and dipping lower, he added, "Except maybe to fix something down here."

His jeans were tented, and something heady grew in Levi's stomach at the curiosity of just how long Eren had been like that without his noticing.

"Levi - !" He stopped himself, transfixed, as Levi slipped down to his knees, making quick work of opening the fly but no other move to remove clothing.

Then his mouth was sucking through the fabric, moistening it and teasing Eren.

"That's not - " his voice gargled on lust (or maybe just be spit; they'd certainly been making enough) " - That's not right, Levi."

He hummed, knowing full well the vibrations would be felt and poked his tongue out so that was the only thing giving any friction.

Whining now, and a small involuntary buck before he got himself under control.

"Levi, I need - " he cut himself off.

"What?" Levi questioned, moving back to sit and look up properly, to take in the flushed face and mussed hair and bright eyes.

"More than that," he waved about, but it was obvious what he was talking about.

"Then why don't you guide me?" Levi offered huskily, placing both of Eren's hands on his head.

"Levi - "

"Stop saying my fucking name long enough to tell me what you want," he growled with both impatience and authority.

"Stop being a fucking tease, for one!" He squawked, finger digging into his scalp before relaxing.

He obliged by pulling the kid's leaking dick out of his shorts. But not doing anything else.

Eren's head had flung back in anticipation, fingers absently pressing into Levi's skull but not moving it with any amount of force.

A full thirty seconds went by before he groused,

"Why the hell aren't you doing any - ?"

"I told you to tell me what you want," it was low, it was husky, because at first he just wanted to get the kid off, but the wait was starting to give him a chance to recover too.

"I - " he choked (and, oh, he wouldn't be the only one soon) "Suck me off."

"Be specific."

The kid whined again, like a fucking dog or some shit and Levi couldn't help but chuckle. He hadn't been serious about that part, was already burying his nose in the dark, wiry hair and flattening his tongue against the base, fingers taking extra care of the tip.

Eren's grip tightened, pulling his head closer and soon he craned his neck down enough to roughly command,

"I said, stop being a tease and suck me off."

Levi swallowed something along with lust, and didn't need to be told twice. Tongued the slit and tasted the precome (practically tasted Eren's whimpers, strangled moans); swallowed him down and hollowed his cheeks, allowed his hands to help and didn't mind a bit when Eren forced himself deeper.

And maybe Levi was pretty quiet, but this kid was nothing but breathy moans and strangled grunts; words of praise abruptly cut off by an expletive. He just about lost it when Levi's tongue moved involuntarily along with a harsh suck, jerking forward and hitting the back of his throat.

"Sorry, sorry," he murmured, fingers working on steadily massaging Levi's hair only to scrape along the skin, pull him closer before hastily apologizing again.

It wasn't much longer before he abruptly let go and shouted, "Pull off, I'm going to - "

He did, but Levi didn't move. Continued bobbing as he had been and squeezing out every drop, licking up the shaft after he'd swallowed it all to ensure Eren was clean. Reveled in the way Eren's sensitive dick made him keen and shiver as Levi kept it up, finally sitting back on his heels after wiping stray saliva from his own mouth.

Both stayed in their respective positions, panting and leaning on each other - Levi's head on the kid's knees and Eren's hands weighing down his shoulders.

"That was - "

"Yeah. Happy birthday to me," Levi huffed.

. . .

It was mostly because his knees were getting sore as fuck on the hardwood (stop, you perverted fuck) floors, but soon Levi hauled himself to his feet and make the executive pronouncement that he was "fucking disgusting".

Eren pouted a bit, but that quickly morphed into a sheepish smile when Levi commented,

"You had a nice willing mouth to come into. I had my pants. Which, mind you, you cleaned your fucking hands on."

It only took a beat for Eren to lean down and murmur, "You complaining?"

"Shut the fuck up. I think you got some flecks in my hair," he mumbled more to himself, running his fingers through his hair and, yep; stale semen. What more could anyone want idling around their scalp. "I'm taking a shower."

He was already brushing passed the kid, but was jerked back by fingers circling his wrist.

"Need help with that?"

"Horny brat," was his only response before pushing away.

. . .

So they had just done a thing.

Not the thing, but a thing.

And somehow he was okay with that. Was okay with having sexy times with someone who he'd be seeing again beyond repeated flings. Wasn't overwhelmed by how much he screwed everything over and he wondered if this is what remission felt like.

That absence of something terrible, the anticipation of its return, but an utter relief so strong it didn't matter.

He took his time in the shower; was sure to scrub each flake from his hair (he washed it twice) and massage each inch of skin to make sure no lingering grime - sweat, dirt, or otherwise - settled. Traced a stray scar or two and realized he wasn't worried about how Eren would react. Wasn't even worried if he'd ask about them, because he found himself musing he might not mind answering.

. . .

He'd barely stepped from the steamy bathroom - and it hadn't been the fun kind of steamy but maybe it would be soon - when Eren was on top of him, maneuvering so he was pressed against the door.

"You really like to shove me against things, brat," he observed when his tongue was free enough to do so.

"I can't help its being sexy," Eren laughed, pulling away the same breath and lacing their fingers together as they went into his bedroom.

This was the first time there had been any amount of planning in Levi's staying the night. Not that when Eren rung him up he said, "oh, I'm having a game night, and, by the way, sleep over so we can get it on". But when he showered he slipped into his spare sweats and a loose tee, Eren had stripped to a shirt and his boxers, and they were going into his bedroom with every intent to sleep.

Any other time, it had been crashing by mistake on his couch, or, so exhausted from staying up, that they slipped into the brat's bed fully clothed and feeling other-wordly the next morning.

And yet here they were, holding hands and waltzing into his bedroom after some hand to mouth experiences (what the fuck did that even mean; just call it sex even if it wasn't the sex, Levi). And, yet, here they were, crawling under the covers and lying beside each other so their arms were around the others' waists, Levi's face buried in his chest and his nose burrowed in his (twice-washed) hair.

And, yet, here he was thinking that maybe - just maybe - this wasn't so bad.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey, Hanji and I are bringing take-out tomorrow night after our shift. If you show up for yours, I'll send you home anyway. Hanji might experiment on you first, though," Erwin added over the speaker, using that commander voice that left no room for any argument even for someone as stubborn as Levi.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay," Levi trailed off, already hanging up before the conversation could be pursued any further.

. . .

It wasn't that huge of a deal. It really wasn't. He'd survived this long, and it wasn't like hadn't already become a master at dealing with this shit. If anything, it'd become easier the more time that passed; Hanji and Erwin had replaced -

Aw, fuck, no, they hadn't replaced them, they - shit. Right about now he could really have used Farlan's gift for manipulating words to help assure himself he would never try to replace anyone. He was just filling in the hole that they had left, which didn't sound all that much better. Izzy's bright enthusiasm would have been soothing; she would just be so fucking excited he even talked to anyone else, never mind had other friends, that he'd forget all about that sinking feeling of betrayal lurking in his gut.

He was doing that thing where fond memories of them only depressed him more, so he shut off those thoughts with a quick call to Eren.

(And what the fuck was he even doing, calling the brat for comfort.)

Enough rings had gone by that Levi was just about to give up and hang up, but suddenly he was greeted with a breathy, "Hey, sorry 'bout that. My phone was on the other end of my place and I'm not as fast as I used to be."

Levi could hear the sheepish smile bleeding through, had to close his eyes because he felt his heart dissolve into goo.

"You there? Levi?"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," he exhaled softly, fingers playing loosely with the hem of his shirt.

"You okay? Why'd you call?"

"Can't I just want to talk to you?" Levi snapped, tasting each bitter word as they poured out but unable to stop them.

"I'm sorry," he blurted quickly, nerves rising that this was it - this would be the time Eren would have enough of his instability and haste to lash out.

"We've apologized a lot this phone call already," Eren commented as a way of forgiveness, and Levi would be damned if the kid wasn't rubbing the back of his neck.

"I just - " Levi sought for the right words. He was shit at this whole communication thing, but he felt better because Eren knew that about him. "I wanted to hear your voice. Talk to me."

"About what?" Eren questioned, tone laced with a cautious amusement, as if he found the situation cute but didn't know if there was a deeper meaning to the request.

"Like I give a shit."

A++ social skills, Levi.

"Okaay," the second syllable was dragged out thoughtfully. "Well..."

Was biting his lip now - had to be. Or, maybe, Levi was just projecting himself because he was gnawing away enough skin to bleed.

"Oh, I know!" It was so loud and abrupt Levi jerked the phone away and missed the first part of the sentence. " - it is, but Connie and Sasha are getting married! You've met them, right?" Barely left enough space for an affirmative grunt. (Once. They're both weird.) "Well, we all know they were destined for marriage, but Connie was too nervous to ask her. So Sasha just blurted out in the middle of that dinner I told you about - did I? The one with some school friends - that they were getting married in the spring."

Levis smiled at the chuckle on the other end.

"You should've seen his fucking face! He didn't really know what to do; just kinda nodded along in shock until he stopped everything and said, 'wait, did you just invite them to our wedding without telling me we'd have it?' Ah, man, priceless shit right there."

He prattled on a bit more, groaned about being a groomsman, but it was obvious that he couldn't have been more thrilled.

Yeah, and that was the thing. People were still getting married, and he was still talking to stupid brats with too-bright eyes, and idiots insisted on coming over whenever the fuck they felt like it. And maybe, just because it was the anniversary of the loss of the two closest things he'd ever get to family, didn't mean that the whole world had to stop too.

. . .

"I got noodles!" Hanji was saying, kicking the door open even more because apparently he hadn't done an adequate job.

"And not this type of noodle either," followed by a motherfucking noogie.

"What are we, twelve?" He growled.

"You probably haven't grown since then," narrowly dodged his hand and pranced into the living room.

"You guys are fucking idiots," he sighed wearily, pushing the door closed and wandering into his living room.

Hanji had already splayed themselves all over his couch - had already grabbed their quilt and tossed it on top even though their limbs were too spread to really get covered.

"Oi, you'll get it stained," he hissed, snatching it off of them and laying it (not lovingly at all) on the coffee table.

"Proof! Proof!" Hanji was shouting, pointing at him and paying no mind to when Erwin lifted their legs to tuck himself underneath them, letting them rest in his lap once settled.

"Proof that Levi has a heart! Proof that Levi ca - "

"Would you shut your goddamn trap, you hag?" He crammed himself (somehow) between their shoulder and the couch's armrest, swiping his noodles from one of their over-sized paws.

"Levi," they whined, drawing out the second half of his name like an obscenity.

He didn't answer knowing they'd get to their point eventually.

"You don't have any alcohol handy! I'm even wearing your shirt."

Erwin chuckled, piping up, "You do usually provide the drinks as long as we provide the food."

"I don't actually feel like getting drunk tonight," he admitted quietly, barely meeting Captain America's eyes but just avoiding Hanji's altogether.

Erwin's eyebrows hiked up a bit, but so did the corners of his mouth and there was something so content about his expression Levi couldn't stand it. Hanji didn't flip the fuck out like he'd expected, either. Just nodded their head and whined that they had forgotten the chicken and broccoli.

. . .

Eyebrows had insisted they all play hookey - Hanji gripped the blonde's shoulders and shrieked that even Mr. Boyscout could be a rebel too, like, the fuck, Hanji - and so there they were, playing motherfucking scattegories and drinking hour-old coffee. It's like this, when you're enjoying a intense-ass game of scattegories nobody is willing to get up to heat up, never mind refill coffee, and its getting stale is just bound to happen.

Day turned to dusk, and none of them had changed from their dicking around clothes - he hadn't even showered yet which was some type of record because that was one of his 'things'.

It wasn't until Hanji got a text - blushed and he wondered if Moblit was maybe more than just their 'assistant' - that they decided to break it up. Erwin's final words were "I'd better see you both tomorrow at work" and Levi just gave a friendly "fuck you" for his trouble.

A quick clean and a long shower and now he was texting the kid. Amused (and maybe a little frightened) that he spent more time thinking about Eren than anyone - anything, really - else.

. . .

Hey, so I'm picking you up from work ;)

Levi held back a snort and instantly retorted,

Oh, ARE you? Demanding twerp, at least ask

You like it when I order you around, don't lie

His face wasn't even a little red and his fingers were just as steady as they'd been before. Honest.

Shut the fuck up. I'll text you when I get out, but it'll probably be the usual 9:30ish

. . .

It was actually closer to nine - thank fuck - and Eren was waiting for him by the curb like the dork that he was. Opened the door for him and everything.

Levi grunted his thanks, grateful for the clanking heater because just the short walk from the entrance to the car had his balls shriveling up his anus.

"I thought we could do something different tonight," Eren commented lightly enough, but gauged his reaction from the corner of his eye.

Better not be some sex thing, pervert.

A laugh that was mostly genuine but had a hint of strain made him realize he'd said that out loud because he was an actual human disaster.

"Also, we should have dinner with Mikasa and Armin. Like actual dinner. At a restaurant. You can bring Hanji and Erwin, too," Eren added, turning the wheel and smoothly pulling onto the side street.

He would probably fuck it up, but "Sure."

They got back to his place in little time at all. The moon was finally starting to peak out from the clouds and, while it didn't make it any warmer, the air felt fresher somehow, and he was infinitely grateful for its return.

Eren must have caught him staring, because he leaned down and whispered, "You know, if there's ever a night where I'm not around, just remember I'm looking at the same moon as you are. It makes the distance seem like less."

See? This brat was actual fucking Shakespeare.

Levi just nodded numbly, turning his face enough to sneak a quick peck on Eren's cheek and murmur a fond, "Idiot."

"Your idiot, though."

"It's cold out, move," was his response as he moved to stand behind Eren and shove him forward a step.

"Grumpy-pants," the brat muttered to himself.

"Are you hungry?" Eren asked as soon as they were comfortable enough in his apartment.

"No," Levi answered truthfully before reconsidering. "I probably should eat though."

"I swear it's up to Mikasa to feed me, and me to feed you, so just pray my sister never drops her fucking mother henning."

Levi offered a huff of air and soon ramen fucking noodles were simmering on the stove. (Eren corrected him that 'simmering' wasn't really the right term, but fuck it. He wasn't a goddamn chef.)

Bellies filled and tension gone, Eren decided to bring the latter right back up by being all weird again.

"What is it you wanted to try?" Levi finally sighed with more irritation than he felt. He was shit it this, hand to God, he was.

"I just - well it'll be fun, I think. But it's also kinda weird and you might get messy and - "

"Eren."

The kid's jaw snapped shut with an audible clack, and his lips twitched as he struggled to find the right phrasing.

"Well, okay, first of all you should probably take off that shirt."

They just stared at each other.

"I thought you said this wasn't kinky, you - "

"No, wait! I didn't mean it like that. I don't want your shirt to get shit all over it, so I'm going to lend you a shirt so your clothes stay nice."

Which only brought up more unanswered questions, but okay.

Levi trailed behind Eren into the bedroom catching a glimpse of Eren's toned and really okay-looking torso as he whipped off his shirt and replaced it with another. He wasn't sure if it was better or worse that the light hadn't even been flicked on. (And, like, fuck, he'd sucked the kid's cock but the only time he saw him shirtless for prolonged periods was when they were both strangers actually dying from pneumonia.)

He found himself catching a shirt tossed carelessly at him with not his hands, but his face. Yeah, that seems right.

Of course he hadn't magically grown, but it was very possible Eren had because this shirt felt even baggier than the last one. The shoulder seams were nigh mid-bicep and the sleeves hung below his elbow despite it being a t-shirt.

"You look -

"I swear to god if you say cute I will cut your tongue out and put it in your fridge," Levi cut off with a glower.

Eren took a step forward, the dim light from the streetlamp casting shadows but making his soft expression no less clear.

"I was going to say sexy. It's really hot to see you in my clothes. You know what would be hotter?" He paused an inch away before leaning down, "To see you not in my clothes."

So the line was a little poorly executed, but it went straight to his dick along with the gentle nips against his neck.

He allowed both of them a few beats of dainty pecks and softer bites before he pushed him away.

"What have you been so fucking strange about?"

Adonis disappeared and in came an awkward, nervous fuck that he could relate to too well.

"I mean, it's - well, I'll just show you," he decided on, traipsing over to the closet (had to shove aside some huge-ass square thing covered in a sheet in there, what the fuck) and pulling off a briefcase from a shelf Levi wouldn't be able to reach even if he got surgery to make his legs taller.

They wandered into the living room and sat on the floor. A second later and Eren was on his feet, turning off the main lights to opt for the side-table lamp instead. Opened the briefcase to reveal an impressive amount of acrylics and brushes.

"You paint?" Levi asked blankly.

"Geesh, you know I do, but most of my stuff is at Armin's - better view and shit, you know?," Eren rolled his eyes, but before the comment could be further questioned he continued. "I thought we could do it together. I like to paint my forearms when I feel down, and I can tell that you've - "

He hesitated, treading careful water and Levi didn't even feel defensive until he realized he didn't.

" - You've been off. So we're going to finger paint and draw on our arms and act like a pair of fucking six year olds, okay?"

Levi didn't answer, just leaned forward to retrieve the palette and squirt a blob of blue into one of the slots.

Eren was grinning now, added some whites and greens and blacks for mixing.

And, okay, it sounded stupid and childish and all-around like a sham, but Levi really did feel better. There was something soothing about dipping his finger in paint and swirling it onto his skin; hiding the pale (rotted) flesh and dark (terrible) veins with something beautiful.

He didn't really pay attention to what Eren was doing beyond when their fingers brushed against each other; didn't really pay attention to anything at all, and he had never realized that something as detail-oriented as he thought painting was supposed to be was actually so mindless.

In the end, they'd both drawn skies.

Levi's was a lighter blue at the horizon where it met the grass but faded into a deep navy at the top; little fluffy clouds hovered here and there and it looked very much like a realistic type setting.

He wanted to make that distinction because, while Eren's was a similar scene and color scheme (he, however, had a sun in there which was yet another goddamn metaphor he refused to analyze), the kid had used messy strokes and blurred the lines to give it a more impressionistic feel.

A more artistic one, once Levi thought about it. His looked like a little kid's, but Eren's had a Van Gough vibe to it. Don't misunderstand, he didn't feel badly about his little artwork, he just couldn't help but notice the comparison. He wasn't exactly surprised; he was pretty particular about things and Eren was a carefree doofus, so it only made sense that would show through in his painting.

"Gotta take a picture of this," Eren beamed once both were satisfied.

His painting fingers were at least dry enough to manhandle his phone, but he still struggled with getting a good angle without dropping it.

"Wait, hang on, why don't I clean that up," he set down his phone and disappeared into the bathroom.

Levi frowned, assuming he was talking about the art set, and began to set the paints back in their allotments.

"Oh, that's not what I meant, but thanks," Eren smiled, plopping down again and brandishing a damp washcloth.

"I'll get some of those edges and smudges," he explained, gesturing to the marks where Levi ran out of fingers and didn't want to mix a color, so had wiped the tip off on any skin that wasn't part of the picture.

Levi got what he was doing, but not enough to lend Eren his arm until Eren patiently grabbed his wrist and guided it towards him.

"Here," He started with Levi's hand first, focusing on the palm where an ugly medley of colors had mottled together.

Worked up to the edge of his hands before carefully swiping the outline of the sky and the grass, trailing up to focus on his bicep which was (somehow?) worse than his palm.

"Sorry about your shirt," Levi remarked. No matter how many times he tried to roll the sleeve up and prevent it from soaking up the paint, it decided to topple right on back down.

"That's why I had you wear it," Eren replied absently, too intent on his fucking gentle ministrations. How it was even possible to be so tender just wiping off paint another human's skin was beyond Levi, but he felt something tremble in his heart.

Either he was so overwhelmed by the simple, caring gesture, or he was starting to realize that maybe he was fucking head over heels.


	16. Chapter 16

When a fist bump makes you feel some kind of way more than the frickle frack at the end :')

* * *

It was one of those instances where he was vaguely conscious of the world around him - the warmth pressed into his back, the dim light resting on his eyelids, the remnant scent of shampoo - but he wasn't actually awake. Was still dreaming about something he couldn't remember even in the moment and largely oblivious to his immediate surroundings.

A sniff near his ear and some rustling of cloth was enough to pull him out of his stupor, to make him blink open his eyes and try to process where he was.

Very close to the end of the bed, for one. If he took a single breath too large, he might very well topple right onto the floor. It reminded him he was at Eren's; often he'd find himself on the furthest edge of whatever they'd fallen asleep on, the kid having inched over to claim the whole space.

He craned his neck over, a fond smile toying with his lips because, yeah; the brat was slumped across a majority of the bed, right arm pressed against Levi's back, leg tangled, head burrowed.

It was endearing as shit, though he had to admit that his inability to share would likely grow on his nerves.

(That made everything seem so long-term, so he promptly got out of bed to get started on coffee. It was too early for that fuckery.)

Before leaving the room, he carefully pulled the covers back over Eren's frame, feeling ridiculously embarrassed even though no one caught the tender action.

He'd barely pulled down the grounds - and, fuck that kid if he didn't move it to a lower shelf so Levi could reach it easier - when Eren stumbled in, half of a blanket still wrapped around him as one hand loosely clung it to his side while the other rubbed his eyes.

Scratch being asleep, this was as endearing as shit. He looked like a goddamn little kid, all ruffled hair and big eyes and sleepy yawn.

"I don't want to cook anything," he mumbled, absently scratching his stomach and shuffling over.

"I'm not hungry anyway," Levi answered, waiting a beat for a potential reply before pressing down the button on the grinder and filling the kitchen with its angry wailing.

Eren wasn't listening. Or, maybe he was, just didn't reply even as he stuck his head into the fridge and rooted around for something suitable.

"We should have that dinner with the fam," He proclaimed after retrieving some cream cheese and pulling down the bagels.

"The fam?" Levi echoed incredulously, ignoring the fluttering in his stomach because it wasn't like he hadn't met them anyway, and focusing instead on his disdain for the term 'fam'.

"Yeah. Get us two and Erwin and Hanji and Mikasa and Armin and go out to that Italian place we never did get around to," he responded, popping in a second bagel despite Levi's protests. "When's your next day off?"

"Umm, day after tomorrow I think," he replied, standing on his tiptoes to reach the mugs and definitely irritated (not embarrassed) that Eren got them down instead.

"Good! I'll pick you up. Or maybe it makes more sense for them to get you there? Either way - "

And that was how they casually planned what would surely be the most horrifying moment of Levi's life.

. . .

"I've never seen you fidget so much," Erwin leaned over to whisper, causing him to cease his restless tugging on his sleeves.

"Where is he?" He hissed back. "He's always on time, what if - ?"

"I'm sure he's perfectly safe," Hanji was quick to intervene.

"I'm not worried about that," Levi scowled back, but not even he could believe himself.

"Do you know what you want?" They asked, their own fingers skimming down the menu while the other hand fiddled with their straw.

"I don't know," he groused even though he did; it was the only thing he'd ever gotten at an Italian restaurant.

"I'm thinking fettuccine," Erwin informed him, cut off from continuing by the ringing of the establishment's door and the entrance of the brat and his family.

"Took you long enough," Levi grumbled, already standing up to meet him halfway.

"Sorry, sorry, that was my fault," Armin explained breathlessly, eyes twinkling and cheeks red from the cold. "I got out late and they had to wait for me."

It ended up with Erwin, Hanji, and Armin on one side of the table while he, Eren, and Mikasa claimed the other half.

"I'm thinking stromboli," Eren remarked without even bothering to go over his choices.

"I'm doing a calzone," Levi shrugged, sensing the unasked question.

"What kind? If we get different enough flavors we should split it and try both," Eren suggested _casually_ , like it wasn't something intimate.

Hanji was eyeing them from the corner of their eye with an expression that warned they may very well shit themselves, and Armin and Erwin shared a look that informed him they had definitely schemed together at some point.

"Yeah, that'd be fine," he agreed, pointing out which types would be best to share then setting his menu on the corner of the table.

The other morons kept shooting discreet (overt) glances their direction; everyone knew they were together, but no one really knew in what capacity.

That was mostly because even _they_ didn't know what they were, just knew that they _were_ and left it at that.

The waitress took their order and Eren's knee bumped against his only to stay there, and he prayed that no one noticed his blush (they must have).

"Eren, you haven't been to the lab in a while," Hanji whined, taking a dramatic slurp of their coke after that.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, darted his eyes over towards Levi but averted them before they made contact.

"I've been a bit busy, I guess. Armin says you think you found a new color? Is that even possible?"

"It's almost like a new shade of black? It actually sucks light _in_ , it's so cool!" They gushed, leaning over the table and shoving their plate forward in the process.

"Sounds like Levi's soul," Eren grinned, elbowing him.

"You're an idiot," Levi huffed, reaching for one of those mouthwatering pieces of bread.

"Yeah, but _your_ idiot."

"Yeah, my idiot," he responded in an exasperated sigh before he could think, froze abruptly because he had never come close to saying that.

Flushed because Eren seemed equally shocked before erupting into a blinding beam and sticking a fist out.

Staring at the knuckles so he wouldn't have to stare at anything else, he lamely brought his own up for a bump.

Because, yeah. Somewhere they'd stopped being "Eren" and "Levi" and became "Eren and Levi"; and that was the only label they could ever need.

. . .

"I think it went well," Eren spoke confidently after the first minute of the silent car ride.

Levi slumped further into his seat.

"I shouldn't be allowed to speak to anyone ever," he bemoaned.

"Mikasa wasn't actually offended."

"Well you could have fooled _me_."

"She just isn't the best at knowing how to handle your, ah, brand of humor," the brat worded carefully, making a turn and pointing out a dog that they both ogled for a few seconds.

"You mean my shit mouth," Levi supplied once the excitement died, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You could have said some things better, I guess. But she's met you and knows that's just how you are - "

"A human disaster?"

"I was _going to say_ ," Eren cut him off firmly, taking his eyes from the road to shoot a pointed glower at him. "She appreciates your brutal honesty if nothing else."

"I somehow doubt she appreciated hearing that I'm not good with my words but I am with my mouth, _just ask Eren's dick_ ," he found himself blushing with the thought, Mikasa's shocked expression and Hanji's absurd cackling.

A quick glance to his left showed that Eren was beet red too, but a smile was tugging his lips and soon they were both laughing too, wheezing to the point that he pulled off the road and doubled over the steering wheel to catch his breath.

. . .

"I think we should - " interrupted by a heavy gasp and a smothering kiss " - celebrate the success of the dinner," Eren managed to finish, nipping his neck around the words and working to peel his shirt off.

"Oh yeah?" Levi questioned, teeth clamping down on an earlobe and fingers gently yanking on a nipple.

He never got a verbal answer, just a hasty removal of clothes and a flurry of lips and tongue and hands that had him dizzy in the best way.

"You going to make me feel good? Make it hurt?" He found himself murmuring, gnawing on Eren's collarbone.

"It won't hurt. Not tonight," he managed passed a trembling breath, hips jerking forward before he got them under control.

"I like it - "

"Not tonight," Eren repeated, removing Levi's head to stare at him, eyes blown but rueful smile on his lips. "Tonight isn't about sex. It's about showing you - " He hesitated. "It's about showing you."

Levi blinked before nodding, "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

Didn't need to ask what the brat was talking about, slowed his pace but lost none of the passion.

"C'mon, we need to - "

"Yeah."

A finger in his waistband, a nail scraping lightly as fabric was dragged down slowly. Levi was about to do the same, but found Eren was already exposed.

"That's not fair, you know," he chastised. "Next time I'll have to take them off with my teeth."

Eren swore under his breath, letting Levi take the lead in guiding them to the bed, pushing him down til he was being straddled.

"I kinda like having you under me," Levi commented serenely, bangs brushing against the kid's navel as his lips sucked on his protruding hipbone.

Eren just groaned, choked on the sound when a hand reached to press lightly against his length, not moving or gripping - just being.

"That's what isn't fair," he whined, palm wrapping around Levi's hand to get him to do something.

"Needy brat."

Fingers enclosed in his hair, yanking him up for a bruising kiss and suddenly he was flipped over, the air being knocked out his lungs - being stolen from his lungs as Eren reached back down to suck on his lips.

A sharp inhale when Eren wasted no time in teasing, just stroked his cock as though it were only natural, other arm supporting his own weight and bent at the elbow.

Moonlight peeked through the window, illuminating them both in a light glow. He pulled back long enough to soften his gaze, to look at Levi like something beautiful.

The thing was, Eren could now see him better than ever. Levi could tell the exact moment Eren first noticed the scars by the way his breath hitched, and his movements stuttered to a halt. And when his eyes zeroed in on a scar in particular - revolting and bubbled and hulking - Levi couldn't help but turn his head in shame.

But Eren trailed a soft hand along his shoulder, bent down and placed a kiss so gentle he wanted to actually cry. Moved down and began doing the same for each of the scars along his chest, down his stomach.

Finally rose up to plant his lips against Levi's furiously beating heart and murmured, "I'm so glad you're alive."

He stopped breathing for a second - a minute? - replayed the words over and over and over and questioned if it applied to his feelings too. Realized it did because he'd always been resigned about living - always felt he owed it Izzy and Farlan and Erwin and Hanji to make sure his heart was still beating - and yet, now, suddenly, this kid made him _grateful_ to be alive. Made him want to start _living_.

Eren soon picked his head up, green eyes boring into to steel as he repeated, "I'm glad you're alive."

"Me too," he whispered back, shocked by the truth in that sentiment and musing this must be what it means to be happy.

They shared a kiss, this one tender and sweet and everything the other ones had been lacking. It turned frenzied soon enough, a finger nudging against him and he let out a stuttered breath.

Found his muscles shivering and his hair being weighed down with a sheen of sweat; found his throat convulsing and his mouth producing too much saliva, pooling when the first knuckle sneaked inside him.

"When the fuck did you grab the lube?" Levi asked, the coldness making him shudder even more.

Eren just hummed noncommittally, trailed a tongue down his torso until he separated enough for the ends of hair to tickle Levi's member.

Another finger was quickly added, and it was only then that Eren distracted from the burning by dragging his mouth around Levi.

Levi closed his eyes, let his mind drift off with the frayed nerves of his body, tried to keep his wriggling to a minimum and only sighing deeply when a third was added.

"I'm - I'm good," He muttered, gently pushing away Eren. "My turn to do something."

Eren raised an eyebrow, but had no time to protest for the next moment he was on his back, staring up at Levi with wide eyes and wet lips.

Levi dribbled some of the lube on his palm, rubbing his hands together to both warm it up and spread it around, soon latching onto Eren and jerking his wrists up and down.

Eren was perhaps the most responsive partner Levi had ever had, mewling and thrashing and swearing and bucking.

"Oi, hold still, brat," Levi commanded when he was satisfied they were both ready. He knew he could use an extra few minutes of stretching, but he relished in the sting as he slowly lowered himself onto Eren.

He kept it slow and languid, clashing with the desperate and heated pleas of Eren.

"You said this was about showing," Levi murmured against his ear as his lips nibbled at Eren's neck. "We'll get to the fun stuff later on."

Eren just nodded, the muscles and veins shifting beneath the skin Levi was marking.

As quiet as Levi was - nothing but heavy pants or the occasional breathless curse - Eren more than made up for it. Lewd moans, choked off grunts, loud expletives and quiet praises. It was much the same mannerisms as their blowjobs, only amplified.

He wasn't honestly sure who finished first, only knew that even when they had both reached their climax, he crashed down and Eren thrust up a few more beats. Levi finally ceased all movement to collapse against Eren's sweaty skin, meeting for a kiss that was all tongue before pulling off.

And, the thing was, Levi'd had sex plenty of times in the past, but this was the first time he'd ever made love.


	17. Chapter 17

"I'm not trying to pry into your matters, but if you ever do want to talk about it, I just need you to know I'm right here," Eren was saying, his fingers sneaking passed the tank under his cardigan and brushing against a scar. His chin rested on the opposite shoulder, and his breath was warm where it tickled his ear.

Levi sagged into him a bit more, shifted so his feet were more under him than on the couch.

"Not much to tell," he sighed.

He didn't want to talk about it - at least, he didn't want to in search of coping with his past better. He'd lived with it all of these years and didn't see how dredging it back up was going to make him feel like anything but shit. But he thought maybe he wanted Eren to know; wanted this stupid brat to understand a piece of himself that barely even Erwin knew.

"Mom was a hooker but she was probably the sweetest human out there, you know?" His voice was soft, Eren's touch even softer.

"When she died her brother took me in. He did the best he could, but there was a reason he never wanted kids - he knew he'd be just like his old man and he was. An angry drunk, but he really did try, I think."

He sucked in a sharp breath of air at Eren's tensing, at the protest he could sense bubbling up.

"I'm not making excuses. He was still an abusive asshole when he wanted to be, but, really, he did his best to raise his sister's kid. A lot of the scars aren't from him, anyway. I was in the mafia, remember? Or some bastardized version of it."

Eren was silent for several beats, his fingers never ceasing to rub imaginary patterns into his flesh and the comforting weight of his chin never faltering.

"I still wish it had been easier for you."

"I don't."

"You don't?" He echoed incredulously, pulling away enough to crane his neck and meet Levi's gaze.

"I don't," he affirmed, eyes flitting over. "What-if's and if-only's are stupid. It made me who I am, got me to meet Erwin and that hag and work at a museum that I love. It made me be the type of jackass that was lucky enough to meet you, but hopefully not the one to lose you."

He'd never meant to say the last part. Felt his breath hitch and his eyes widen and his chest deflate as he hastily jerked his head away, couldn't dream of making eye contact after such a -

"Didn't I just tell you I'm right here? I don't plan on going anywhere," he added solidly, placing a soothing kiss on his cheek and pulling him closer.

"I know, I'm just - " he stumbled around how to apologize, but it hit him that he didn't need to. "I know."

Because, really, he did.

. . .

"What the fuck is that?"

"Shrimp. What does it look like?" Eren replied absently, setting the package on the counter and wadding up the plastic grocery bag.

Levi grimaced, peeked over his shoulder cautiously as if the fuckers would come to life and eat him instead.

"They still have legs."

"I'll peel them off."

"If I see even one goddamn piece near me, I'm going to lose my shit," he grumbled, retreating to the safety of the opposite corner.

The brat was chuckling at him, trying to stifle his snickers unsuccessfully in his hand before nodding solemnly.

"I'm finally making that Thai stuff for you," he explained, opening up each cupboard until he found the ingredients he was looking for. "Want to start on the rice?"

That was about the only thing Levi knew how to make, and only because they had a rice maker that did the job for him if he added the appropriate amount of water and grains.

Eren was carefully peeling the shrimp apart, leaving their fleshy underbellies on a separate plate from their brittle carcasses.

"That is literally the grossest thing I've ever seen," he commented, peering disdainfully at them.

"What, this?" The kid questioned innocuously only to dangle a shell by its leg and wave it in his fucking face.

"I sweat to God, Eren!" He yelled, backing away and just about tripping on the table.

But the brat was too busy outright laughing now to pay his trauma any notice, which allowed him the time to grab one and shove it down the back of his shirt.

A shrill screech and some dancing later left Eren shirtless, chest heaving and eyes wide.

"I thought you didn't want to touch them!"

"Revenge makes you do things you'd never normally endure," Levi shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips at his triumph.

"I think I might actually hate you," he muttered darkly, shuddering as he picked up the skeleton and tossed it on the others. "Just for that I might not let you eat anything."

"Oh, the horror. I won't be able to ate something I hate," Levi deadpanned, offering to mix the sauce even as he spoke.

. . .

Eren was staring at him expectantly, chopsticks - because of course the dork ate this shit with chopsticks - hovering over his bowl and mouth open a crack.

Sighing, Levi took a ginger bite, extra careful to get more rice and vegetables than shrimp. And, well, it wasn't awful.

"I've had worse," he announced, already going in for his second bite. "I still don't like the shrimp, but I don't think I'll throw up either."

Eren beamed.

Actually beamed like the goddamn sun, was grinning so much his food could be seen sloshing around as he tried to chew it.

"Shut your mouth, brat," he ordered with no amount of spite, taking a sip of water.

"But I got you to admit to tolerating shrimp! Isn't this some type of record? I can't wait to tell Hanji - "

"You tell them that and they'll just bitch about not even knowing who I actually am as they accuse me of lying to them all of these years," he scowled after swallowing down another hunk.

And, maybe, that was it.

It wasn't that he'd been lying, but he had certainly changed. Had found that he was willing to try things he'd never even considered and, though he was loath to admit it, he knew that had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Eren.

And, really, that was it.

That was what relationships were supposed to be all about.

. . .

He scrubbed a hand through his hair, blowing air through his teeth.

"I don't know. What do normal people even do, anyway?" He groused, hoping that the sincerity of the question would be missed just as much as he hoped it would be noticed.

Erwin mulled that over, took a sip of beer that was absent from Levi's hand.

"Flowers? Candy? A romantic dinner with candles?"

"I'm not into that gay shit."

"Is he?"

He gnawed on the inside of his cheek, toying with one of the fraying seams of Hanji's quilt.

"I don't think so. Maybe. Probably."

"Don't you think maybe you should ask him then?"

"Where's the romance in that?" Levi barked out before he could stop himself, turned red as a fire hydrant because he would never willingly admit to being a sap.

"I think what Eren would care about is spending the day with you, not necessarily how you do that," Erwin finally suggested, leaning forward and draping his elbows on his knees so the bottle was dangling between them.

"But it's Valentine's Day; don't most people try to make that special?" Levi growled in frustration, once again cursing his inability to handle social situations.

"He's your first real relationship, isn't he? It's expected of you to be nervous - "

"I'm not nervous," he protested flatly.

Eyebrows, the ass, coughed something that sounded suspiciously like "liar", before facing him more fully.

"He's Eren. What exactly have you done so far?"

"I'm not discussing our sex life with - "

"I didn't mean that," Erwin interjected hastily, plastering on a sly smile. "Though if you did want to talk about - "

"One more word and I will rip your nose off and cram it up your ass."

That earned him a chuckle - though it should have earned him a scream of terror because he was intimidating, dammit - and a continued,

"I mean where have you gone? Is there something he really likes? Something you really like? He probably would enjoy a simple home-cooked meal as much as anything, but is there somewhere you think he'd prefer going?"

"How the fuck should I know?" Levi exhaled, seeping into his couch and letting his knee flop against Erwin's. "That excitable brat loves everything, so far as I can tell."

"Then you should have no trouble making Valentine's Day special."

A slight pause and then.

"You could always find out one of his fetishes and - "

"I will kick you out," he snapped sharply, cheeks aflame and hands trembling.

. . .

Meet me at your place around three

There. Short, sweet, to the point.

V-Day was a few days away, so even if Levi did entirely fuck up this 'date', then at least it wouldn't defile the holiday itself for all of the years to come.

That didn't stop his hands from tapping idly or his knees from feeling wobbly.

Only once he received a confused but affirmative text did he hop into the shower, did he begin stuffing his backpack full of everything they'd need.

. . .

Armin had helped a little bit informing him of Eren's experience and preferences - he was beginning to think that blonde mastermind had a far greater hand in their being together than Levi would ever know.

Readjusting his strap for probably the fifteenth time, he finally found himself in front of the complex's steps and shot a quick note stating as such. He needn't have bothered, for not ten seconds later and Eren was stepping out of the doors and surveying the street to find him.

When he did, his whole being lit up, eyes bright and hair blown in the wind.

"Hey, what're we planning?" He moved to get into his car, but Levi shook his head and meandered down the street.

"It's probably really gay."

"For a gay man, you say that a lot."

"Because, as a gay man, a lot of things I do are gay," Levi retorted, feeling that his jittery nerves made his comebacks even worse than usual.

"I'm glad it's not that chilly. I'm also glad it's chilly enough for you to wear these," he tugged on his scarlet ear muffs, the color reflecting into his face from the cold and nothing else.

"Shut up. The reason you got pneumonia is because you never cover your fucking ears," he groused back, pausing long enough to pull a ridiculous toboggan - complete with a pompom - from his bag and thrust it at the brat.

"For me?"

"Shut up."

Grinning, he crammed the crimson atrocity onto his head, bangs caught at haphazard angles that Levi had to stop and fix (on his tiptoes, dammit) before they could continue down the street.

"It's nice to have confirmation that you care," Eren commented harmlessly, eyes twinkling and hand comfortably reaching for one of his own.

"You know I do, brat," soft, gentle, meant to be heard by no one but himself but caught anyway.

"I know you do," a tender kiss on the top of his head and then they were striding along like none of it had ever happened.

"Are we there yet?" Eren asked after they made their first turn.

"Ask me that one more time and I'll leave your ass behind," Levi threatened, tightening the grip on his hand despite himself because he didn't mean it, could never mean something like that, and he wished he'd stop turning into a sentimental old fool.

"But Le-vi," he whined in a way reminiscent of Hanji.

"We'll be there in two fucking minutes."

The rest of the walk was passed in relative silence. An occasional comment about the shoddy snowman some kids had probably built - a more personal comment that they should make one - the periodic need to acknowledge an animal, and soon they were turning into the park.

"Oh," Eren breathed out, eyes shining and face slackened with something akin to wonder. "I haven't been here in forever."

"Me neither," he admitted, leading them into that secluded area they had first met, setting his bag on the very bench he had jumped up from to save some bumbling moron.

"It's even prettier now, I think," but the statement was following its owners gaze, directed at Levi and leaving him flustered.

"You dork. C'mon, sit down."

Eren obliged readily, hat slipping back as it got caught in branches Levi was too short to worry about.

"This is why we can't have nice things," he sighed, affixing it properly then unzipping his belongings.

"Here," he set something on Eren's lap. "Armin gave me your size and told me you used to take lessons when you were, like, eight or something."

A quirked eyebrow quickly turned into a pair receding into his hairline, a dropped jaw, and an awed gasp.

"I checked that the pond was truly frozen over, so it shouldn't turn out like last time. Though I did bring some extra dry clothes, to be safe," he added as he removed his own combat boots in favor of lacing up the ice skates.

"You got me skates?" Eren asked in disbelief, likely not hearing any of Levi's previous words.

"Yeah, I thought - "

"And you brought me here? To skate?" A tinge of something deeper, a trembling of his lips and Levi was scrambling forward, placing his hands on the shaking ones beneath and hurriedly asking what was wrong, apologizing because he never meant to -

"No, no, I love it. I just - " his voice cracked. "I haven't been skating since - since my mom died. Dad never thought it was worth pursuing and he became pretty useless after that. And you brought us back here, where my life started to turn around for the better for the first time ever and I - "

He cut himself off, voice wavering and eyes blinking back something shiny.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to get all emotional like this," wiped at his face then turned a watery smile.

"One of us has to make up for my emotional constipation," he snarked back, nudging him with his shoulder.

"I think I might love you," Eren whispered sincerely, all but lost in the wind.

"You're not the only one," Levi found himself murmuring in return, placing lips against his in a kiss that was anything but demanding, a kiss that shared more emotion than any amount of words ever could.

They finally pulled apart, both red and breathless and staring at the other like they were the most precious thing in the world - and, really, in Eren's case he was, he was, he was.

"Do you ever want to actually skate, brat?"

He smiled back, already sliding off his ratty converse and finding the skates to be a perfect fit.

"If I even can. I haven't done this in well over a decade."

"I've only ever done it yesterday when I made sure it was sturdy. Erwin came with me," he added to prove both that the ice would hold both of their weights if it held that sasquatch, and that he wasn't stupid enough to kill himself in the name of romance.

They made it out to the ice all right, but both stood on the edge uncertainly.

"I'm going to fall on my ass so much," Eren chuckled.

"Me too, so if you catch me, I'll catch you."

"Every time, sweetie-pie."

He wasn't embarrassed by the sentiment that seemed to translate well beyond the situation; he was only flushed in irritation at the stupid nickname.

"Shut up, snuggle-muffin."

"'Snuggle-muffin'?" Eren echoed with a sharp laugh, gingerly sliding one step forward and quickly finding his footing.

Levi, on the other hand, had a death grip on Eren's forearm and smushed himself against his side - much as he had done with Erwin yesterday, though this somehow felt far more intimate.

"You won't die even if you fall, you know," the brat teased, peering down at him with an amused smirk.

"I could," he insisted, tightening his clutch and burying his nose into Eren's shoulder. "I could die on this ice and the only thing left will be these goddamn earmuffs you have some weird fetish with. And, no, I will not wear them the next time we have sex."

"What if we do it right now?" Eren responded cheekily, gaining a new bruise on his chest for his trouble.

"Pervert."

Silence befell them again, and, soon, Levi found that he had enough confidence to distance himself. And, soon, Levi found that he didn't want to.

When snow began to fall, and it was getting dark enough that the lampposts grew dim with light, they finally retreated back to the bench.

"We spent longer on that tiny-ass pond than I expected," Levi remarked once they had changed back into their normal shoes, retrieving a thermos from the bag. "It's probably cold by now."

Eren looked absolutely delighted - absolutely breathtaking and he had to look away from the vision of too bright eyes and too bright cheeks and too bright teeth because this fucking kid.

His hands closed over Levi's and they both unscrewed the lid, were equally surprised that the stainless steel had kept it heated enough for a pitiful cloud of steam to surface.

"Cocoa?" He questioned in excitement.

"Cocoa," Levi confirmed, pouring some of the hot liquid into the cup. "I didn't think to bring an extra cup."

Eren gaped at him in mock horror. "You mean we'll have to share germs?"

"Shut the fuck up and take a drink."

A smile hidden behind the mug and he did, groaned at the apparently wondrous taste.

"This is perfect," he spoke genuinely, boring into his eyes and and telling him the comment referred to more than just the hot cocoa.

Levi hummed in agreement, indulging himself in the beverage before resting his head against the willing shoulder next to him.

"This is my Valentine's Day present, by the way, so don't expect anything else."

Eren choked a bit before clearing himself and draping an arm loosely around his side.

"Like I could want anything else."

And there, pleasantly chilled but, more so, pleasantly warm, watching the snow start to gently cascade down and feeling Eren's heat pressing into him, Levi thought he was truly the happiest he'd ever been.

* * *

All that's left is my lame-ass epilogue:[


	18. Chapter 18

I hadn't realized that none of my italics carried over so I'm hoping to edit them in because I like to overuse them and it feels fake not to have them:')

* * *

Somehow, it'd been a year.

Undoubtedly the best year of his life - of _anyone's_ , he'd be willing to argue.

Arms around his waist had him turning to face the owner, had him staring up at sparkling eyes and dimpled cheeks.

"You come around here often?" Eren smirked, already leaning in for a kiss.

"You're an idiot," he sighed fondly, resting their foreheads together and not caring even if someone did waltz into the gallery.

"Your idiot, at least," he defended.

"Yeah. My idiot," Levi confirmed with no hesitation, shifting away from his arms but letting their hands dangle together.

Eren's feet wandered over to that godawful (breathtaking) painting Rico had insisted on - the one with no color and trees and people - and he stood in front of it, eyes glazed and mouth parted.

"I never can decide if I love it or hate it," he at last spoke, voice soft - reverent even.

"I think it's fucking hideous," Levi groused, already tugging towards a different one.

"That's no way to talk about your boyfriend's artwork, but okay," Eren huffed, allowing himself to be moved.

And they'd taken maybe a step before Levi stopped, before his air stuttered in his throat and his feet jerked to a halt.

"My 'boyfriend's artwork'?" He repeated incredulously, eyes wide and lips slack.

Eren immediately turned red, rubbed the back of his neck and ducked his head.

"I mean, I know we've never bothered to really call each other boyfriends, but I kinda thought it was - "

"Not that, stupid. Of course we're boyfriends," Levi scolded, amazed at how easily the words slipped from him because they were so true - so true and he'd never confirmed it, had left Eren wondering and -

That wasn't the point.

"Your ' _artwork_ '?" He all but spat, gesturing in accusation at both Eren and the piece.

"Oh. Yeah," he replied blankly, looking as though the thought had genuinely never occurred to him.

"Your artwork."

"Yeah."

" _Your artwork_."

"Yes!"

Levi shook his head, fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes to block everything out.

"Two of your fucking paintings are in my goddamn museum and I didn't even know it?"

"I thought you did! I mean that first time I met you here, the first thing I did was say how much better it looked than I thought!" Eren rebutted, finger pointing at the original - the one with the water and the blues and purples and greens.

Levi peeked an eye open to stare dubiously at him, brain racing to process everything.

Okay, so maybe the brat _had_ made some similar comment, but he had naturally assumed he had been referring to the museum - to the gallery Levi fucking supervised - and _not his own painting_.

"There's actually three of them," Eren whispered quietly, suddenly unsure.

Levi's heart thundered to rest on his tongue suddenly - or maybe his tongue swallowed to rest against his heart - and he tried to backtrack.

"Eren, you know I don't mean it when I say they're ugly. That I hate them. They're beautiful, really. I think they're so beautiful because they're so ugly," Levi explained, words jumbled and lacking any sense but he had no idea how else to make his point clear, found himself dragging Eren over to what had to be the third.

"This? This is the other one?" He breathed, praying that he recognized the strokes enough to be correct.

"Yeah," Eren's voice was just as small as it had been.

"Eren, I'm not actually mad you didn't tell me. It was a misunderstanding. And they're wonderful, you have so much talent that I - "

"It's not that," he was quick to interject, tone sharp in haste and not malice. "It's just now that I know you talked about them without knowing they were mine...There's just a lot more meaning, I guess."

"I know I can be an ass when I - "

"No, not even that," he tightened their hands, pulled him closer. "There were times when you'd confess how much you really loved them, how they made you think and dream and hate and love all at the same time. And I always thought you were trying to comfort me. Now that I know that was your raw opinion, that you - "

Eren decided actions would do better to relay his feelings, burrowed his nose into Levi's crown and pressed a gentle kiss against his scalp.

Several contented moments passed before Levi broke the silence.

"These things aren't exactly cheap. Does that mean you're loaded?"

Eren turned his shoulders so they were facing one another, mouth in a confident grin but eyes soft and twinkling.

"Would that change anything if I were?"

"That'd make you my sugar daddy, for one," Levi shrugged, feeling a smile trying to force its way.

"I don't have _as much_ as I would. I used a lot to help pay back Mikasa's tuition. She got some really good scholarships and she makes some really good money with what she does, but still. She did more to raise me than my dad, so I felt like it was the least I could do."

Because of course he did.

"I also donate a lot to keep the shelters running, especially the one I volunteer at but even some of the soup kitchens around here."

Because of _fucking course_ he did.

"You - You are a goddamn angel," Levi told him pointedly, standing on his toes so their noses brushed against each other.

That earned a blush, an averted gaze and a mumbled denial.

"But I, um, I've got a lot saved up. And I... Well, I - " he vomited a few more words out, eyes darting everywhere that wasn't Levi's.

"Spit it out, brat," tender despite the words.

He sucked in a giant inhale, apparently because there'd be no pause for breathing in the next sentence, "I was thinking we could get a place together."

It lingered in the air as Eren clearly held his breath, turquoise finally meeting steel in something so painfully unsure, so painfully _hopeful_ Levi wanted to kiss him senseless right then and there.

"Yeah. Okay."

"Yeah?" Just as unsure.

"Yes," yanked him down for that senseless kissing, paused long enough to say,

"On one condition."

"Condition?"

"A cat. We have to get a cat."

"A cat?"

"What, are you a goddamn parrot?" He grumbled and Eren flashed a smile at far more than the insult.

"A little girl cat named Princess," Levi nodded firmly.

"I think I might love fucking love you," Eren whispered, expression painfully bare before breaking out into a grin and holding out a fist for a bump.

"I _know_ I fucking love you," he whispered back, bypassing the proffered hand and hiding the truth in his eyes by closing them for another kiss.

* * *

I know the ending is cheesy af, and probably kind of random, but if you look back I really did try to hint about prodigy painter!Eren quite a bit (that's what I'll tell myself anyway).  
It's so bittersweet to officially finish something that consumed my life for those few months:') Thank you all so much for the love and support; your feedback meant the world to me and if I ever get sad I'll just pull it up and encourage myself. If you want to stay in touch, my tumblr is "emmeri" too, though I admit I don't do much with it.


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